Take A Chance You Stupid Ho

Bollywood

2009-08-14T02:07:00.000-07:00

So I find myself in India once again for business actually this is going to be happening a lot as this is now my responsibility. Of all the places that I have travelling this is by far the most foreign. It is just different – very different – I am not saying all in a bad way just different. Here are my “favorite” experiences of the three days I have been here

- The pantless and underwear less little boy sleeping face and cheek down on the pavement right outside of my office building. This sounds like a sad affair but from what I can tell he was not homeless as his family were sitting beside him laughing and sharing a coffee.
- My first meeting with a new member of my team where she kept closing her eyes and rubbing her stomach. I finally said are you ok? To which she replied I am having stomach problem and let out a HUGE burp about 3 minutes later.
- The same member of the team: everytime I speak to her she closes her eyes like she is really tired by all the work she has to do!! Please…get over yourself.
- I almost got hit by a bus…NO SERIOUSLY I WAS ALMOST HIT BY A BUS…that was not fun
- The woman in the bathroom threading her beard…
- The banker who yelled at me to change the policy which says we can not pay for guest travel….hey if you think I have that much “power” you are sadly mistaken
- Aww…the rooftop bar at the hotel….it should have been named Calgon!
- The nice cab driver who let me ride for free as I didn’t have change
- The endless bag opening, metal detector entering, bomb sniffing, bomb checking mirrors when entering any office building, hotel, restaurant...hey this is a good thing!!

All that and I still have a ride and wait at the airport.

WHAT ABOUT PROM????

2009-08-06T22:51:00.000-07:00

RIP John Hughes.

You have brought many smiles to my face and helped pass countless Saturdays as surely one of your movies played on channel 11.

I am really hoping for a movies marathon this weekend!!!

The American Tourist (TAT)

2009-07-30T23:39:00.000-07:00

So I recently returned from a fab-u-lous trip Europe – South of France and Italian Rivera to be exact and it was really awesome.

The trip started in a little French village whose main attraction is Mount Ventoux. For those of you (I didn’t) who do not know, this is the last climbing stage of this year’s Tour de France…and you guessed it Action Jackson Harvey had the two of us riding up the damn thing…ladies and gentleman..by far the hardest thing I have ever done EVER. I didn’t make it to the top as I basically cried, had a heart attack and crapped my pant during the 16 k I did finish!! Luckily for me at 16k there was a bar/restaurant where I managed to get all hopped up on energy drinks waiting for Phil to finish and the ride down…by far the scariest thing I have ever done!!! All was forgiven/forgotten when we finally arrived back at the village and I consumed 2 pints of beer and an enormous Panini!

The second leg of the trip took us to another little French village to attend a wedding. We stayed in a converted farmhouse located in the middle of a vineyard – can someone say unlimited supply of rose? The wedding was beautiful blah, blah – good times!

Ok from there we went to Monaco, Portofino, Santa Marghertia (Italy), Cinque Terre and Lake Como and here is the reason for this post.

Cinque Terre is actually 5 little villages connected by train or you can hike to each. The hiking was great, views spectacular, water an amazing blue but there was something that was not settling too well with me…what could it be??? Then the voices ring in my head “Y’all want a glass of vino” THE American tourist (TAT). Let me stop and say I am love being American so no I have not moved away and think I am all cool and stuff but there is something really annoying about THE American tourist (PS none of my friends and family would fit into the category of the American tourist). Call it - loud, annoying, arrogant, not trying to fit in to the surrounding cultures!! You just seem to able to pick the TAT out.. maybe it’s just because I am American and I feel a certain embarrassment by said behavior but it really got on my nerves..

Ok so all that being said…take a look at me on vacation….

Yankees cap, hiking boots, red fleece, blue shirt..damn if my shorts were blue I’d be the American flag….

Jenni “TAT” B

Did you know...

2009-07-22T19:58:00.000-07:00

That if you put all the streets in New York in a straight line, they would stretch to Japan??? Well its true.

Thanks Snapple!

Cougarville

2009-07-22T19:56:00.000-07:00

So as most of you know Monday was my birthday and this was a big one…. I turned 35 and this has me teetering dangerously on the brink of cougarville.

If you see me looking anything like the above and dating anyone that looks like the above please stage an intervention as soon as possible!!!

Jenni “Linda Hogan may soon be my idol” B

Total Eclipse of the Heart

2009-07-21T23:40:00.000-07:00

Hello all! So today was the longest solar eclipse of the 21st century here in Asia -pretty cool huh?? Actually not really. The weather is pretty bad so you couldn't really get the full effect as the clouds were covering the sun and it has been dark all day. I wish it was the usual cloudless Singapore sky - now that would have been pretty cool.

I did have a giggle this morning as a very nervous, very new Asian reporter (woman) with a lisp was sent to cover the story for CNN. She was stationed in Shanghai amongst a group of nerdy eclipse chasers (who knew they existed???) and unfortunately the weather was not cooperating in Shanghai either. Well they kept going to her for updates and there was really nothing to see. Then the clouds started to move and the sun appeared as she was speaking and you hear "oooooo" from the eclipse chasers. She quickly put on her eclipse glasses (picture 3-d glasses) to take a look and the clouds moved in again. She took off the glasses a bit dejected and started to speak again and two minutes later "ooooooo" she put her glasses back on and sure enough clouds moved in again. Well this pattern went over about 5 more times leaving the anchor even more nervous and lispy.

Boy did it make me laugh!!

[no title]

2009-07-15T19:42:00.000-07:00

ok so after 9 months of uncertainty I officially know I have a job and what exactly I will be doing so needless to say I am one happy girl. This is the result of a week long trip with my two new bosses (ummm stressful!) and all went very well! I happened to avoid any Bridget Jones' moments - whew!!

So with that out of the way I feel that my writters block may be gone and back to blogging. You see I am actually doing this at work now when I should be thrilled to have a job and working - sooo typical!

During one of the dinners on the trip this America guy was talking about a very successful couple he knew and referred to them at D.I.N.K's (double income no kids) Jeez I had not heard that one in a while which led me to think about my achroynm S.I.N.K (single income no kids) hummm....SINK - not too promising huh??

Love me.

Bad Boys..Bad Boys..Whatcha Gonna Do..

2009-04-02T01:43:00.000-07:00

Most of you have seen the pictures on Facebook but if you haven’t (Mel) here are some for your perusal! Needless to say the weekend was pretty wild. It all began at 7:30 am breakfast in the hotel restaurant dressed in our cop uniforms, I was thinking we should have went to a coffee and donut place so we could really get into character but oh well. We arrived at our friend’s Jarad’s apartment so the boys could get into costume and I realize I didn’t have my tickets so I hopped in a cab and sped off back to the hotel, think the uniform came in handy here as the driver was properly speeding.

Finally I reached the stadium and it was time to start the day….with a liter of bloody mary…1 LITER! Believe me I paid for that one the rest of the weekend...the first time I peed (sober) I thought someone opened a jar of tomato sauce in the bathroom..gross I know but I had to give you the visual!

The day ended at about 9:30pm when we got back to the hotel…at midnight I realized I had only eaten one meal (forget the millions of calories of booze consumed) that day so insisted we go on the hunt for food.. picture it me in my running gear (sans bra) walking the streets of Hong Kong searching for nourishment..we finally found our beacon in the night..yes you guessed it the golden arches (so un-jenniB I know). We get in line and order our small feast. As Phil was waiting for the food I yelled..thank god I just went for that long run so I can eat now…wonder if I fooled anyone?? Doubtful.

All and all it was a good weekend but if I hear arrest me officer one more time I will die.

Pippa, Me and Maree

The Girls and the "Girls"

Happy or loaded - you decide

It's 4:20...gotta go!

Thought Rabbits Were Bad....

2009-03-31T23:09:00.000-07:00

Pandemonium breaks out at Taipei Zoo

Taiwan-China relations were dealt a severe setback yesterday when it was found that Taipei Zoo’s “pandas” are not what they seem.

Zookeepers discovered at feeding time yesterday that the two pandas are in fact Wenzhou brown forest bears that had been dyed to create the panda’s distinctive black-and-white appearance.

The Taipei Zoo’s head of ursidae ex-procyonidae care, Connie Liu (劉長春), said she became suspicious when the pandas, Tuan Tuan (團團) and Yuan Yuan (圓圓), began to spend almost all of their waking hours having sex. Pandas are notorious for their low libidos, which make them difficult to breed in captivity.

“Let’s just say Tuan Tuan and Yuan Yuan would tuan yuan at every chance,” said Liu, referring to the combination of the panda’s names, which means “to reunite” in Mandarin. “They would do it doggy-style and every armchair zoologist knows that pandas favor the missionary position — when they do it at all. Their behavior caused chaos. Children screamed and parents became irate.”

Her suspicions were confirmed yesterday when she noticed that the animals’ new hair growth was discolored.

“Their roots began to show,” she said.

A zookeeper who asked to be identified only by his nickname A-diung (阿忠) because he was not authorized to speak with the media said he and his coworkers had long had their doubts, but were discouraged from publicly voicing their concerns by management.

“Whenever the moaning from the panda enclosure gets too loud we gotta go in there and hose ’em down with cold water,” he said. “After a while, parts of the animals’ black-and-white patches started to turn brown.”

He said he alerted senior zoo staff who dismissed his concerns.

“They told me pandas at the zoo in Washington, DC, get lethargic and sometimes lie in their own feces because they can’t tolerate hot weather, so it didn’t surprise them at all that their fur was turning brown since Taipei’s hotter on average than Washington,” he said.

The pandas arrived in Taipei last December as a gift from the Chinese government. The pair were first offered three years ago, but were rejected by then-president Chen Shui-bian (陳水扁). After the Chinese Nationalist Party (KMT) candidate Ma Ying-jeou (馬英九) won the presidential election last May, the pandas were accepted, though critics continue to decry what they see as an attempt by Beijing to bribe Taiwanese with cute, cuddly furballs in lieu of a more meaningful gesture of goodwill such as removing some of the 1,500 missiles China has pointed at Taiwan.

Even the pandas’ most diehard supporters were brokenhearted yesterday. Some angrily compared the subterfuge to last year’s contaminated milk scandal, when melamine that had been added to watered-down milk sickened 300,000 victims across China and led to a recall of diary products in countries including Taiwan.

“First the milk scandal and now this. What are we going to hear next?” said Chang I-jun (張麗君), a Taipei resident.

Chang, who operates a souvenir stand near the zoo’s entrance, added that the scandal would affect sales of her stuffed panda toys, panda T-shirts, panda pens and notepads, remote-controlled pandas on wheels, caps with panda ears on top, panda fans, panda flashlights, panda mugs, panda eyeglass cases, panda face masks, panda slippers, panda wallets and panda purses.

“China certainly owes us an apology,” said Chang.

In a statement released yesterday evening, Chinese foreign ministry spokesman Qin Gang (秦剛) addressed the panda scandal.

“We understand that our compatriots in Taiwan are very upset. We wish to assure them that we have taken steps to address their concerns. We hope that our Taiwanese friends enjoy the gift of two extremely rare Wenzhou brown forest bears,” Qin said.

Question...

2009-03-26T18:35:00.001-07:00

Why do shoe repair places always make keys as well? What is the connection here? Hoping someone can enlighten me??

Happy Friday!

Here I am!

2009-03-25T21:27:00.000-07:00

Well I have certainly failed my first 100 days, but at least I didn’t make a special Olympics comment (or have I) Anyway… here I am ready to blog. To sum up the last couple weeks of my life..stress, stress and stress..I have realized that I have been living my life in a state of flux for over a year now..that is no way to live. Word from the company is that we may not know until the week of April 14 – which is perfect as I will be sunning myself in the Maldives….if I get fired at least I will be on vacation. Oh well..what can you do??

So this weekend I am heading to Hong Kong for the Hong Kong 7’s rugby tournament which is supposed to be absolutely crazy. You have to go in costume so me and the ladies are going as sexy Singapore cops . Although a seasoned drinker, I am actually nervous as from what I hear its intense and you know I am not known for moderation so say a prayer for me!

Alright then, I hope you are all well. I will leave you with some pictures from the Japan ski trip I never posted about!

Ready to hit the slopes

Apres ski for 3 - me, Phil and my man hand

Apre Apres ski

Harajuku Boy and Girl

Terrible picture but a good story. We had some amazing food in Japan - some of the best but this evening was not one of those times. We went to this tradional restaurant where there is a pot of boiling water built into the middle of your table. You are given strips of fatty meats (shown) to cook in the water along with veggies etc. So we had the dinner along with alot of sake and by the end of the evening I could not see! I was like Phil is it smokey in here?? Can you see ok?? God that Sake is strong!! I get up to go to the bathroom - actually feel my way to the bathroom as I was a blind as Helen Keller. I removed my contacts I was like HUH?? I can see! only to realize that both were covered in a layer of grease from the steaming pot of boiling meat fat! I was so grossed out!!

Love you XOXOX

Day 12

2009-02-02T01:43:00.000-08:00

Ahhhh…back to work and it sucks. I wish I was still throwing back sake and slurping up some udon but no here I am. I will provide photos and a recap of the trip once the photos are uploaded but all in all a great time and happy to report no broken bones!

Speaking of stuffing my face with food and booze I would like to share with you the following website which could come in handy on your next holiday and of course when you all finally make the trip to Asia (which I know you are all working on), SelectWisely http://www.selectwisely.com/index.htm. This is pretty cool if you have any food allergies or dietary restrictions. You present the proper card which is translated into the appropriate language. Pretty cool.

Now if I can only find a card with the following translation…”stop feeding me..I am a fat ass”…that would be great.

Days 3-11 ~ GONE SKIING (Day 2 wrap-up below)

2009-01-22T23:26:00.001-08:00

Days 1 & 2 stressed me out so I am taking a vacation…Just kidding. I am heading to Hakuba, Japan for 6 days of skiing and then two days of touring Tokyo. We have Monday and Tuesday off for the New Year so 8 days of vacation and only taking 3 days out of my allocation…oh yeah! I love it when a plan comes together!

“See ya’" when I get back

SASHIMI!!! (only Japanese word I know)

Day 2...

2009-01-22T23:24:00.000-08:00

Day 2 was a very exciting day at the Company…major changes underway which I hope are for the good. Once the excitement simmered down it was time for lunch and a quick shopping trip to get the last of the items required for my upcoming trip. On the way back to the office from said shopping trip, I had a very crazy cab driver. I should have been tipped off as I when I got in the car he was doing some serious head banging to very slow, traditional Chinese music. About 2 minutes into the ride he started yelling FUCK, FUCK, FUCK…I braced myself for the head-on collision that was sure to follow such an outburst only to realize we were cruising along no accident in sight. This 3 word mantra continued in 30 second intervals for the remainder of the trip. Once I got used to the “background noise” I was able to focus on the activities happening on the streets. As we drove through the Chinatown section I was admiring how “dressed up” the neighborhood was for the upcoming Chinese New Year celebration, welcoming the year of the Ox. Funny that the year of the Ox mascot dotted throughout the city (think the big inflatable protest rat found outside of some NYC office buildings) bears an uncanny resemblance to Bullwinckle.

Tonight early dinner with friends and early to bed for early flight.

I leave you with this question: Why do people gargle water, mouthwash etc? What purpose does it serve?

Day 1

2009-01-22T01:39:00.000-08:00

Day 1 got off to a very bad start… I could not sleep last night and when I did I had a terrible, terrible nightmare, the kind of nightmare that has you waking up and having to repeat…”it was only a dream”, it was only a dream” until you slowly convince yourself. One realization I came to while trying to get some sleep was that I am actually going to be 35 this year as opposed to the 34 I have been telling everyone..seriously there I was actually doing the math in bed 1974…1984…1994…2004…2009.. yep 35! This was a complete shock..god I am old. Perhaps this bought of insomnia and horrible dreams was a result of the anxiety of having to tell you all about the next 100 days…god how must Obama feel. I hope he really knows his age cause that one threw me for a loop.

Ok so after pulling myself out of bed, close to tears, I had to quickly get dressed and hop in a cab to meet potential new boss (PNB) at potential new office (not leaving current job [I hope] but most of you know the deal). I was stuck waiting in the lobby for 15 minutes next to some techy geek playing a very loud and very annoying video game..I was this close to shoving it up his ass! PNB arrived with potential new co-worker (PNCW) and the tour began. Pretty cool space..they have a huge associate lounge with pool table, fooze ball (is that how you spell it) tables, tv’s and FREE BEVERAGES…I could get used to this!!

Coming back to this drab, quiet office I was a bit depressed and spent some time daydreaming of fooze ball tournaments, lunches and tomfoolery with my PNCW’s then was slapped back to reality by a mandatory 4pm meeting…hummm what could this be about??? Me and current co-worker spent the remainder of our lunch time speculating….but back to business and before the 4pm I have some project plans to create, budgets to prepare and a very exciting investigation as to why an expense failed to hit the 2008 budget and is now appearing in 2009…the charge $1,500 – get over it!

4pm meeting…so mad and angry right now but not getting into it – This information is classified and it sucks. I should have pocketed aforementioned $1,500.

Based on the briefing (see how presidential I am) at 4pm I was ready for a drink and thankfully scheduled to attend some leaving drinks for a co-worker who is being relocated to Hong Kong. So I spent the rest of the afternoon pissed off and counting down the minutes until happy hour.

I plan to end day 1 with a swim and some packing…

Until day 2….

The First 100 Days....

2009-01-20T20:27:00.000-08:00

Wow! I have stated here that I am not really a political person but I was brought very close to tears watching Obama being sworn in as the 44th president of the United States..perhaps it was not the emotion that nearly brought my eyes to overflow but the strain of trying to spot Cyndi in the crowd a la Where’s Waldo.

Seriously, as many people around the world brace for the changes that will occur once he takes office, I can’t help but feel really sorry for the guy, talk about pressure. I just feel that he is doomed to fail his first 100 days “report card” not because he won’t be doing a good job but because so much is resting on his shoulders. In the best of times the first 100 days is hard and as we all know this is far from good times. I could never and would never want to be president…

To prove that I would never make a good president I JenniB, will track for you my first 100 days of Obama’s presidency.. tales of exorbitant wine consumption, vacations, gym classes, pool time to follow. Brace yourself!

And B.O….good luck and God Speed…I am rooting for you!!

Wait!! does the 100 days start from the 20 or the 21??? I will start on the 21st…see already procrastinating.

Jenni “more like G. Bush than you know” B

Oh… open letter to Michelle..I think you need a new stylist..now that’s a job I could do. CG , resume to follow.

Movie Time with JenniB

2009-01-19T23:33:00.001-08:00

Here we go again!

Rating system:
4 wine glasses = a must see, stop reading this blog and head to your local theater or on-demand button!
3 wine glasses = Very good but don’t cancel plans to watch
2 wine glasses = my glass in almost empty
1 wine glass = go to the gym!
0 glasses – it was probably Sci-Fi or animated

Movie: See above
Cast: Anne Hathaway, Deborah Winger and a bunch of other randoms
Venue: Regular theater
My Mood: Burnt by the Sun
Genre: Drama

JenniB’s Rating = 1 Glass of Wine

After reading all the rave reviews of Anne Hathaway’s performance,I had high expectations for this one but was once again let down. This movie was so random. Some of the scene’s, ie rehearsal dinner, wedding reception were just too unnecessarily long. Can anyone explain the Indian wedding theme…trying to figure that one out.

Anne did give a great performance as Kim, the just released from rehab drug addict but the character itself really annoyed me and left me thinking how can someone be so selfish..guess that’s the point. I was so annoyed with the movie that about 10 minutes from the end I turned to my movie companion and said “would she kill herself already” SPOILER ALERT…disappointing…she does not!

I mentioned the random cast of characters and that was the one thing that kept me somewhat interested in the story…it was comical to just watch them in the background…and the fiancé what’s up with him??

Perhaps there is some deep meaning to all of it that I am clearly missing..if so, someone enlighten me!

Ok so there you have it another disappointing night at the movies.

One More Day....

2009-01-18T23:19:00.001-08:00

Later Loser!

LOL’s (does not stand for lots of love)

2009-01-15T23:05:00.000-08:00

Ok first of all – TGIF!! I love Fridays – don’t you??

So I have to fill you in on a very funny story (at least I think it is) that my friend Helen told me today. Helen is the girl from the westsuits are dangerous post – the one who had my sweaty butt cheek against her face so you know she is quite funny and a very good sport. Helen and I work for the same company, she’s a brit and we arrived here about the same time. Ok enough background info.

It’s lunch time, I have my gym bag on my shoulder ready to head out the door and she sends me a same time message asking me to have lunch with her that she needs a glass of wine. About 2 seconds go by where I actually consider not answering and heading for the gym but I quickly got a hold of myself, dropped the gym bag and said I would meet her in the lobby in 2.

We get to our favorite, boozy lunch (hey its Friday) destination and the following conversation followed:

Helen: Oh god I made an ass out of myself
Me: [laughing] What happened?
Helen: Well, I was on a call with my manager’s manager in the US and about 20 other people in the US and at the end of the call she was like “so Helen this will be the last time we speak before Chinese New Year.”
[apparently the manager’s manager went into the whole background of the Chinese calendar]
[more background – Helen has not exactly embraced Singaporean/Asian culture]
Manager’s Manager: So Helen what is 2009 the year of??
Helen: [sweating] Ummm…Ummm… well…. [she had no idea – she tells me all she could think about was her vacation to Australia]
Manager’s Manager: Helen I think it’s the OX [Helen heard this as fox]
Helen: oh yeah that’s right it’s the year of the Fox…yup…
Some associate in Miami: Umm…Helen its an Ox not a fox.
Call ends
Helen: I wonder if I will get fired for not knowing???

Well let me tell you to hear her tell the story is priceless…could you imagine?? I was dying for the rest of the lunch and still laughing typing this email (maybe I’m drunk). Sad thing, I could totally imagine this happening to me!

Happy weekend!

TTT - Two Trivia Tidbits...

2009-01-13T00:28:00.000-08:00

1) Did you know that Michigan was the first state to snow plow its roads and the first to initiate the yellow divider line?

2) Did you you that not one Rolls Royce was sold in the United States in December 2008?

Now don't say reading this blog is not educational!

Jenni "in the know" B

Healthy Start...

2009-01-12T18:23:00.001-08:00

This is the email that awaits me this morning as I sit down at my desk:

Hi All,

Starting the year on a healthy note...

We are very pleased to deliver to our associates *FrUiTs*! Starting this Wednesday, 14th Jan 11am. Each will receive an apple, orange, pear and plum all nicely packed into a bag for consumption at your own pleasure. This Fruits delivery will continue on a forthnightly basis - 14 Jan, 4 Feb, 18 Feb and ending in 4 Mar.

We hope you will enjoy it! Have a healthy year ahead!

Don't you love the fancy way they wrote fruits?? This fruits delivery???

This email did include photos of various vacuum packed fruits but I could not get them to save for some reason to post here.

Humm..why do I feel Rita was involved?

2009-01-07T18:17:00.000-08:00

Rita you were in Vail for New Year's.....

From Perezhilton.com

It looks like a certain skier will be making a load of money off of a Vail, Colorado ski resort!
The Smoking Gun is reporting that an unnamed skier was the victim of a freak ski lift accident on New Year's day.
This all went down at Vail's Blue Sky Basin ski slope.
Apparently, the victim, a 48-year old skier, boarded the resort's high-speed chairlift and the chairlift's fold-down seat was somehow not in the lowered position, which caused the man to partially fall through the resulting gap.
Luckily, his right ski got jammed in the chairlift, and that kept him from falling through since his boot never unhooked from its binding!
The photos above were taken by fellow skiers.
We want to know how the poor guy lost his pants!!
The victim was stuck for about 15 minutes before the resort people were able to get him down.
A resort press release did not explain how the mishap occurred, only that "the man was caught on the chair."
What a nightmare!

Perspective

2009-01-03T18:59:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year! Unlike the past, I think 8 years, of ringing in the new year by dancing to the "greatest song in the world" with the NY/PHILLY crew, I celebrated the arrival of 2009 dancing to Donna Summer's Bad Girls with Mel, Chris, Christopher, Robin, Abby, Christian and Adian..(who knew Robin was such a Donna Summer fan??) sporting 2009 glasses and quite frankly it was one of the best. Yes, there were no "let's take off our pants" moments but this was one of the best for a very different reason. It was wonderful to be with my family.

The end of 2008 turned out to be not what I expected but out of this came the realization that no matter how bad things may seem, my parents, sister(s), brothers, friends - new and old - are there and that makes me the luckest person ever! That being said - thank you!

Even though I was very successful with last year's resolution - climbing a mountain -I have decided to forget a list of resolutions (drink less, exercise more blah, blah) and focus on putting things into perspective and keeping sight of what really matters most..family and friends. It is very easy to lose sight as we worry about relationships, job security, and the overall dire state of the economy but when those things do fail...what are we left with?? Family and friends!!! Oh god how easy is it to take these two for granted, especially when you are as self involved as I am (check on the self realization huh?).

I truly hope that 2009 brings to you all that you wish for but when it does not...I am here for you!

Love you all!
JB

Sk8ter Boy

2008-12-12T00:10:00.000-08:00

[Yes I am an Avril fan)

Ugg...why, why do I let..wait let me stop there..I didn't let him do anything I specifically said, "I like the length but shape it a bit"..yes you guessed it I am talking about my hairstylst [ok breath..long sentence). Ok I will admit I do like to change it up in the hair department and he obviously knows it so thinks he has carte blanche with my 'do. But this time he may have gone too far.

So during the "consultation" he pretended to listen and pretended to agree until I see clumps of my hair fall to the floor....ummm..then he came clean:

Shunji: "I think we should go shorter and have one side longer than the other." [record scratch]

Me: Excuse me??

Shunji: Oh yeah, its the new things..you know that black celebrity has it..you know her name... (think he was talking about Rhianna but can't be sure)

Me: Well I am no celebrity - I work in finance!

Shunji: Finance Celebrity (oh now he is being cute!)

For some reason, I let him carry on.. what is wrong with me??

Well the end result is a modified version of the celebrity cut which has me looking like a skater dude cira 1989. It looks like my stylist forgot to finish the job.

All this right in time for the holiday parties. Fantastic!

Jenni "later dude" B

Fall Recap

2008-12-10T22:06:00.000-08:00

I realized that due to the crazy Fall work schedule I have missed the opportunity to fill you in on some of the things that kept me busy September –December.
First up: Kanye.

Phil bought us ticket (more for me really) to see Kanye rock Singapore. I had read so many great things (on Perez) about the “Glow in the Dark Tour” I was really excited…I imaged costume changes, special effects…the works..well not so much.

Let’s start at the beginning, seeing a concert in Singapore is a pretty cool thing in that the “arena” is pretty small so all seats are good seats..lets see a cross between Hammerstein and Continental Airlines area but closer to Hammerstein..am I succeeding here?? So we get to our “seats” which were standing floor “seats” and we were so close to the stage and about 10 years older than the fans around us. It was really cool to look around at the crowd as you had your expat group, teenagers and my favorite Indian guys with turbans and Muslim girls with headscarves all sporting the grill glasses (as pictured above). Awesome.

As soon as the lights dimmed, I got so excited then out of the smoke came Kayne at 10feet away…outfit TERRIBLE this is not what I was expecting. To make matters worse he did not change the entire concert..and special effects..strobe lights do not = high tech (all I have to say is thank god I am not epileptic).

Now to the music…I am sure for a true KW fan it was great..but for JB the fair-weather – pop music fan the first hour was a bit boring. Then with about 45 minutes left (I sound like Bob Costas don’t I??) it all changed..the music took a dancey/pop turn and it was AWESOME Phil and I got down (yeah go ‘head get down). The two of us…we can certainly cut a rug!

Finally, the title…”Glow in the Dark” whatever!!! Not one thing was glow in the dark they did give out the glow jelly necklaces/bracelets before the show but security was actually making people take them off. For the record..Phil and I were not sporting the glow jewelry…we are losers but not that bad. We discussed that maybe being such a small venue and Singapore..well being Singapore, some of the effects may have been cut. If anyone has seen it in the US…thoughts?

So in closing and staying true to my movie ratings:

Music: 4 wine glasses (the last 45 minutes def. saved this rating)
Clothes: 0 wine glasses
Stage/special effects: 0 wine glasses

Watching the posh Brit dance to rap: a million glasses

Mom Jeans

2008-12-09T23:38:00.000-08:00

I was at an afternoon bachlorette party on Saturday - yes afternoon as the bride-to-be as well as about 90% of the party just had babies and the conversation went from leaking breast (no interest), the first time you go to the bathroom (#2) after giving birth (slight interest)and the first time you have sex after birth (ok interested) but c'mon where is the "cop" trying to break up the party or the "pizza delivery boy" - "Hey, did someone order a pizza" [cue music]!! I am kidding but you get the idea.

Anyway lost my train of thought - I almost died when one of the girls was like well you won't catch me in mom jeans to which laughed so hard thinking about the SNL skit...seems this was a big hit in Australia too! If you have not seen it, here you go...awesome and so true. Mel this one's for you.

http://www.guzer.com/videos/mom_jeans.php
(sorry don't know how to post video)

Mish: better not see you in mom jeans anytime soon.

Mission Accomplished!

2008-12-08T23:54:00.000-08:00

Happy to report I completed the ½ marathon (21 K/12 miles) and avoided crapping my pants..Thanks Kelly, after reading your comment on the marathon announcement post, I has a recurring nightmare that would happen!

I completed the race in 2 hours and 28 minutes not the best time but certainly not embarrassing either, please note the time does include a bathroom break in an effort to avoid crapping incident! Thanks to Jackie’s advice of stopping at the water stations, drinking a walking a bit, I ran 20 out of the 21K.

All and all it was a fantastic day and I am so happy to have done it. The best part…it was a free pass to eat anything for the rest of the day. Let me tell you I made up for all the years of not eating pasta in that one weekend!!!

Thanks for the well wishes!

Temporary Insanity

2008-12-04T21:48:00.000-08:00

In a moment of temporary insanity I signed up to do the Singapore half marathon like 6 months ago...yeah it was a good idea at the time thinking I had plenty of time to train...well dear readers it is this Sunday and I am in no shape to do it!! Seriously! I ran about 4 miles on Tuesday and just about died so I don't have high hopes for my performance.

If you don't get a Merry Christmas message from me, chances are I died or am still running.

Wish me luck

Jenni "its still exercise if you walk!" B

Forget the thumbs….Movie Review by JenniB

2008-12-02T21:57:00.000-08:00

Still can not think of a better title. I think I need to get insomnia again as that is when I do my best work!

Ok as I mentioned before this will be an ongoing Stupid Ho feature so I hope you find my reviews useful and accurate. I am open to good-natured ribbing if you disagree.

Rating system:
4 wine glasses = a must see, stop reading this blog and head to your local theater or on-demand button!
3 wine glasses = Very good but don’t cancel plans to watch
2 wine glasses = my glass in almost empty
1 wine glass = go to the gym!
0 glasses – it was probably Sci-Fi or animated

Movie: Four Christmases
Cast: Reese Witherspoon, Vince Vaughn, Jon Voight, John Favreu and others
Venue: Regular theater
My Mood: Hung over and very tired
Genre: Comedy

Rating: 1 wine glass

I had such high-hopes for this one...holiday movie featuring dysfunctional families = priceless (usually). This movie just missed the mark and had so many opportunities to be funny and just fell short. I actually found myself crying (in a sad way) at one point…that to me people is no comedy..ok I am a hyper-sensitive person but come on! There were a couple of moments that made me giggle such as the photo album of Reese’s character but that just wasn’t enough. Save your $$..actually put in a jar labeled “Visit JenniB fund”

One thing that worries me is the ending, it leaves an opening for a sequel…Hollywood if you are listening..Save your money and send it to my friends for the visit JenniB fund!

PS I have purposefully not mentioned Thanksgiving as there will be a proper post as soon as I get my hands on the pictures.

J

MAY DAY!

2008-11-17T03:04:00.000-08:00

To celebrate the release of the new James Bond flick the Singapore gang decided to get together and head to the cinema. Sounds normal even rather boring to some right?? Well, let's keep in mind that this is the crew that had me riding a motorcycle dressed as Madonna!

Toby reserved an entire, posh gold class theater (see previous gold class post) with the rule you could only attend by dressing as your favorite Bond character. This right here was a problem for me as I have only seen one Bond film…and that was the last one!! The only images that came to mind were the white bikini clad woman and the orange bikini clad Hallie Barry. [inside head] “why don’t I go to the gym 5 times a day” “why did I just those cookies” BIKINIS OUT!

So after many hours searching the web (read procrastinating at work) I found my Bond villain…MAY DAY from View to a Kill (Grace Jones). After all the drama it was easy to pull off with a purple headscarf and A LOT of makeup!

Here are some pictures to enjoy.

Me & Phil

Phil and Stefan

Hannah in her inflatable suit

Goldfinger!

"shark" & "dolly"

And one of my favorites...Rhys..looking at his profile during the movie made me laugh so hard!

This brings me to my next thought which is…since living here I have seen a lot more movies than I ever did in NYC, maybe it’s the Gold Class or dating someone but I have decided to get all Gene Shallot on you and bring you an ongoing piece…Movie time (not to be confused with hammer time)with Jenni B [better name to come…open to suggestions!

Rating system:
4 wine glasses = a must see, stop reading this blog and head to your local theater or on-demand button!
3 wine glasses = Very good but don’t cancel plans to watch
2 wine glasses = my glass in almost empty
1 wine glass = go to the gym!
0 glasses – it was probably Sci-Fi or animated

New Bond Flick (can’t remember the name..Quantum something..)
Rating: 2 glasses.
As I previously mentioned I am no Bond expert but this movies was no crowd pleaser! I know at least two other friends who fell asleep during the movie…asleep during a Bond movie????..that just does not sound right. It may have been the flowing wine that had me and others a bit confused and sleepy but that is still no excuse. Plus I thought Daniel Craig was super H-O-T in the last one and he just did not cut it this time…disappointing!

Jenni “pull up to the bumper baby” B

Goodnight Jugdish!

2008-11-09T02:37:00.000-08:00

For those of you who are true Seinfeld fans, you know what that title refers to and what this post will be about! For you losers that don't well you will just have to figure it out (won't be hard).

Today is my first day in India, Mumbai. First impression..flippen HOT! Didn't think it got much hotter than Singapore but I was wrong! Since I am here for business, I am staying at a really nice place. So I arrive and am greated by the hotel manager (fellow event planners know the drill) and he leads me to my room. He opens the door and the curtains automatically open revealing a very beautiful view of the ocean (from the door) as I get closer I realize that the real view is the abandoned hotel across the street (empty eroding pool included) This stunning structure is set upon the "beach" which actually looks like tar but seems to attract handholding lovers and families out for a day at the beach. I notice that if I sit on my bed and look out the window all I see is the ocean so I think that will be my seat of choice.

Disappointly, I was due to arrive this morning and head out for a fancy Indian brunch but my co-worker got bumped off the flight so I have been working all day like a big nerd.

So that is the first impression...more to come!!

Jenni "its in the vault" B (another reference to my fav episode)

Not good for business

2008-10-29T01:06:00.000-07:00

I am currently on a conference call with like 20 people all over Asia and for some reason our phones do not have mute (go figure) and this guy from Tokyo was speaking (really thick accent) and said the word errection. I GIGGLED...

Time for Some Action...

2008-09-18T18:12:00.001-07:00

Sorry for the delay - Chamonix

Given the current financial situation I feel like perhaps I should have kept my money in my pocket instead of this European adventure but oh well “you only live once",“you can’t take it with you” ..I have been repeating this mantra for the last couple of weeks hoping that it will make me feel better about the terrible state of the economy and more importantly the effect it will have on my social life...not working all that well.

Ok to the fun stuff!!

We boarded yet another train en route to Geneva to pick up a car and drive to Chamonix. The previous evening we had drinks with Phil’s friend Beth (see above) who informed us that the weather in Chamonix was supposed to be horrible..c'mon are you really surprised?? Being the usual positive person that I am (hehe) I was hoping for the best! Sure enough once we arrived, Phil checked the weather on top of the mountain and it was horrible. No hiking for us that day. What to do in this situation, eat, drink and shop! I am now the proud owner of a very sporty waterproof jacket. It is very cute. Who knew this would make me so excited.

That evening, the weather took a turn for the worse..the rain was so heavy and it was so cold. Actually this was a good thing as it made our dinner experience so much better. We pigged out on the best fondue EVER is this little stone restaurant. Perfect setting. That evening ended with watching a DVD in bed on a portable DVD player, me promptly falling asleep and spooning the machine...very sexy!

Next morning we woke to yet more rain. It didn’t look good but we were determined to do it so we slipped into the waterproof gear and headed off to start the climb. The first part of the climb was only about 2 hours so I could handle that right?? As we drove to the beginning of the trail, rain pelting the windows my positive outlook was quickly fading. 10 steps out of the car and it was time for a break in the hopes that the rain would let-up. Luckily, there was a little restaurant which served the best Irish coffee ever. After downing the lovely, very strong beverage I was ready for business.

The first day's hike was beautiful despite the rain. After about 2 hours we arrived at the lodge where we would spend the evening with dorm-like sleeping arrangements. I was not thrilled with this prospect. Luckily there were only 4 other people spending the night so we had our own little bunk bed. Seriously the bed are all together!! If it was full, chances are I could have been spooning with a stranger. Not only were the beds an issue but you had to go outside to use the bathroom. At about 3am I woke to some serious pee pains but was too scared to go outside by myself. I was mentally trying to tell Phil to wake up...finally it worked and Phil popped up having to pee so thankfully I had an escort.

The next morning was summit day. The hike was seriously, amazingly beautiful but the hardest thing I have ever done! I was really proud of myself when we reached the top…it was amazing. The only bad thing now we had to go down and you may think that is easier but it was so hard and scary. By the time we reached the lodge again I was tired and angry because it was so hard!!!! Phil sensing my “about to blow” status quickly ordered us tea and beer and my mood improved. So a total of 10 hours hiking that day but by the time we reached the bottom...I came to the conclusion despite the mood swings…one of the best things I have ever done!!!

Ok enough of all this writing take a look at the photos:

Check out how high I am

SNOW!!!!

I LOVE THIS PICTURE

We've reached the top!

Look at that jacket

Great scenery

Almost done...time for a beer (look how swollen my fingers are from the hike)

Phil looking very satisfied! That is the hut in the background.

There you have it...next Everest!! Yeah right!

Ooo La La...Paris

2008-09-15T00:00:00.000-07:00

So onto phase 2 of the adventure.

Prior to leaving London, we stocked up on the train essentials, wine, cheese, olives and nuts for journey. I think we amazed the two girls sitting across from us with the quantity of wine and food we consumed during the not-so-long ride.

We arrived in Paris late Monday afternoon and I was excited to get my French experience on. As we got into the cab at the station, I was about to be surprised by my traveling companion..turns out I was traveling with Philippe (Phil’s French alter ego) as he launched into full French speak. It was like that coffee commercial from the 80’s “hummm Phil never speaks French at home”. I will say it was a very pleasant surprise as all I had to do was nod, smile and say “Bonjour. Vin s'il vous plait.”

I was a bit nervous about the hotel as I was in charge of the Paris selection. Boy did I do a good job (if I do say so myself). The hotel was a small boutique in the St. Germaine district which is so cool. The staff and the rooms were fab. AND get this, free mini bar and open bar all day in the lobby. I could not believe it. Honestly, this was something I did not know when booking. It was great.

After having a glass of champagne to celebrate our arrival, we headed to the Eiffel Tower. I had been to see the tower last time I was in Paris but never got to go to the top. Anyone traveling to Paris, highly recommend Monday afternoon around 4pm for the visit as the lines were really short.

It was lovely and I am happy that we did it but I will have to disagree with those who claim the top is romantic. There was just was too many people for romance.

That evening we had a very late dinner at this bistro around the corner from the hotel. We…wait I (remember I am with Philippe) was the only English speaker in the place. It was very local which is what you want from vacation right?? Everyone was eating, drinking and smoking around us. Speaking of smoking..I have officially quit!! As you know I was always the social smoker. You would think this atmosphere would be the perfect setting for my habit but nope I was not even tempted so I think I have finally kicked-it!

The following day was some Musee D’orsey action (my fav museum), site seeing and our first failed attempt to visit a Picasso Museum (it was closed).

Notre Dame makes my legs look thin.

Walking back to the hotel we stumbled upon a restaurant that looked amazing so we made some reservations for that evening. Here is Phil and what appears to be a prostitute in the hotel lobby (enjoying some free pre-dinner drinks). Seriously, looks like I should be heading to the Moulin Rouge…

Dessert...this was supposed to be the healthy dessert (cottage cheese).

Finally we ended the night with some more champagne at a posh hotel with Phil’s friend Beth. We were heading to her apartment in Chamonix the next day before the climb!

So there you have it our Tango in Paris.

Tomorrow..uncomfortable train ride and Chamonix.

European Adventure – Stop 1 United Kingdom

2008-09-12T01:55:00.000-07:00

Hello or shall I say Top of the Morning to ya'. I am back in Singapore a bit jet lagged, suffering from PVSD (see posted titled PSVD if not familiar) and worst of all..3 kilos heavier but all of that is worth it for one fabulous holiday. Since some of you Stupid Ho readers (JEFF) can not cope with too many words, I will post about each cities’adventures separately.

Travel and United Kingdom

Before leaving for the adventure, I was honestly so excited about every aspect, including the 13 hour flight. We were flying on the A380 so I was so excited to see what all the fuss was about. As we were rushing to the gate (Phil has a tendency to be one of the last one's on the plane which totally stresses me out) I caught a glimpse of the plane and my initial thoughts were.."humm..it's not that big, it looks like a normal plane." My thoughts were quickly changed as we boarded on the upper deck and had to make our way to our seats on the lower deck. WOW!!!!!!!!!!! That plane is HUGE! I felt like I was visiting a small county..each little section of the plane a different zip code. I was all ready for some in-flight food, drinks and movies only to be disappointed by both of us passing out and sleeping for most of the flight. I guess the excitement got to us!

Before we knew it we had landed in jolly 'ole England and the adventure was about to begin.

Upon our arrival we headed to Tori - Phil's childhood friend's house where we would be visiting and resting for a few hours. I was super nervous and regretting my choice of capri pants as this was the first friend meeting. Why the ensemble regret?? My feet and ankles were so swollen I looked like I have an elephant's feet. I could hear the gossip now “Nice girl but you should see her ankles, they are huge”. We sat, had tea all the while I strategically draped my pashmina over my freak-like legs.

After a brief catch-up we grabbed our bags, and were off to have lunch with Phil's dad in the town where he grew up. Lunch was great, two bottles of rose, stories of a gruesome murder that happened in the small town and of all the celebrities that live in the area: Phil Collins, Sting..you know that piqued my interest. All was going well until about 5 minutes after Phil’s dad was wrestling with a cap on the balsamic vinegar, all the while I was talking to him, I turn to Phil who promptly wiped drops of vinegar off my face. Apparently during the “struggle” some splashed on me and I just kept talking, All Class!

After lunch, we boarded a train and headed to London central to meet up with my friend Katy and her man. It was a blast, two American girls with 2 Brits..priceless. Many, many drinks can certainly help the jetlag.

Me and Katy

The next morning, nursing a serious hang over, we were off to meet another of Phil's friends, Helen, fiancée Charlie and their little boy, Ny. Do you think he is happy to see us?

Later that afternoon, we explored the Tate Modern then boarded another train back to Tori & Matt's for the night.

Saturday was the wedding and it was really fun. They were married in a very old stone church and it was beautiful. The day was great and you will be proud, I alternated between champagne and water as to avoid any Bridget Jones’ moments.

I appear to have a wig on..bad hair day.

Matt & Tori so you can see what they look like.

All of Phil’s friends were really nice and welcoming which made me feel really comfortable. Good stuff.

Sunday morning we boarded another train and headed to Phil's mom's house for the evening. She lives in the country..seriously. As we were driving from the train station, we had to stop for donkeys, horses and cows crossing the road. It was great. Phil's brother, nephew and sister-in-law all came to visit as well so it was a full house. As soon as we dropped our bags, we changed and headed to the beach for a walk and some crabbing. Ok let me explain the outfit, as per usual on my vacations, the weather was not cooperating for walking and crabbing activities and I had not purchased my own fabulous waterproof jacket (later in the trip) so I had to borrow a jacket from Phil's mom. Not my best look but Phil had a good laugh at my expense. I am also slightly distrubed that I look like a retarded child and get a load of the dog who is not part of Phil's family.

Phil's Fam

That evening we had a wonderful dinner, great conversation and my new favorite dessert home made by Phil's mom's partner Brian, banofee pie..banana, toffee and whip cream pie. As we headed to bed Brian left the light on in the kitchen for me in case I needed anything in the middle of the night. I warned that they may find me passed out in front on the open refrigerator full of banofee pie! This day/evening was one of my favorites of the whole trip!

Next day: breakfast, train to London, lunch with my childhood friend Valeria and ALL ABOARD TRAIN TO PARIS.

Jeez, I am tired already and that is a lot of words. Sorry Jeff.

Just like the Griswalds...

2008-08-26T23:29:00.000-07:00

Tonight Phil and I depart for our European Vacation. Knowing the two of us, I am sure some hijinx is certainly ito ensue la the Griswalds.

So here is the itinerary for the next two weeks:

London - 4 days
Paris - 2 days
Chamonix - 2 days
Geneva - 1 night
Barcelona - 4 days

You can imagine my excitment!!

Be prepared for the tons of photos that are sure to be posted upon my return..oh crap I think I forgot my camera.

Jenni "Bon Voyage" B

This is Rich...

2008-08-21T19:01:00.000-07:00

Below is a excerpt from Singapore's Prime Minister Lee's National Day celebration speech. This was the third point of his speech. I love e. Classic! Transcript in outline form so may read a bit strange.

MARRIAGE

First step is to find the right partner and get married I am not an expert but consulted those with experience, i.e. the matchmakers. We have SDU, SdS, and many private dating agencies. I talked to several of them. We had a lively exchange and I learnt a lot

Let me summarise the main learning points

a. Many singles do want to get married
They are serious, and not just out to have a good time. But they face difficulties.

b. Some have never dated
Once they start work and settle into a routine, no opportunities to socialise and meet new people

Conversation one matchmaker had with his client

Q: What do you usually do after work?
A: Go to the gym
Q: How about the weekends?
A: Stay at home with family
Q: Do you go out?
A: Yes, bring nieces and nephews out to play
Q: Have you met any new friends in the last week?
A: [Dead silence]
Q: How about the last 1 month?
A: [Dead silence again]

i. Dating agencies say that women in the late 30s have a serious problem

(1) Some men are in their late 30s too

(2) But they are looking for younger women in their 20s

(3) So the older women have difficulties pairing up

ii. Confirmed by what one such lady told me at a dialogue

(1) She had put her career first when she was younger

(2) Later when she wanted to settle down she tried the dating agencies, but had no luck

(3) She regrets her decision now, but still hopes to find someone

d. Good news is that more people are prepared to seek help from dating agencies
. Women are more willing to do so
. Men tend to be more sensitive about their egos

. Most dating agencies have more women than men – 60:40
.
e. Unfortunately sometimes their social graces are not up to scratch

i. e.g. dating agency arranged for a guy to meet a date

ii. Setting was a romantic dinner at a nice restaurant

iii. But he showed up wearing slippers!

(1) Asked why he did not dress up for the occasion

(2) His reply – this is how I am

(3) After some tactful grooming advice, he made progress and learnt to keep a pair of shoes in the car, and put them on before dates

(4) The couple are now happily married

f. Also need to have realistic expectations

i. Have to make an effort for the relationship to work

ii. Easy to get carried away by romantic images in the movies

(1) Meet someone of your dreams, instantly fall madly in love, get married, live happily ever after

iii. But we are ordinary people in real life

(1) May not have instant sparks on the first date

(2) But take time to discover the person for who he or she is, nurture the relationship, and love may blossom

6. We will do more to help singles get married

a. SDU and SdS are working on this
. They now cater to different markets – graduates and non-graduates
. We should be more flexible
. Will merge SDU and SdS

. Together they will have more critical mass, more activities, and hopefully more pairing up and marriages
.
b. Some young people prefer to use private dating agencies

i. But they want quality assurance, e.g. to know that it is a reputable dating agency

7. Young people themselves should take the first step, and not leave it too late
. Make time to go out and meet new friends
. Join a dating agency, be it SDU/SdS or a private agency
. You may find someone you are attracted to
. Then you can marry the person you love, and love the person you marry

Tickle the Ivories

2008-08-19T22:56:00.000-07:00

Phil and I decided to take in a little culture last night and go see one of the performances of the Beethoven Complete Piano Sonatas series. It was a very nice evening but let me tell you the conclusion I have come to, Beethoven...wait all classical music...has no place in tropical climates. Seriously..hot weather and classical tunes just do not mix. Look at the above picture for example, does that seem right to you? The entire performance all I could think about was the old neighborhood, brownstones, snow falling, warm sweaters, red wine and Christmas trees (that one is a bit strange).

Now I have never been one to listen to classical music other than the very enjoyable trips to the Met but I think I will when I move back. There I will be in huge sweater, huge glass of wine and hopefully it will be snowing..hummm.. the new me sounds kind of boring! Rest assured I have a lot of learning to do before this happened as during intermission I turned to Phil, shared the above thoughts and then announced "I really liked the second song” to which he replied “it’s called a piece babe”

Whatever!

Jenni “full of culture” B

Sound Factory Days...

2008-08-19T02:11:00.000-07:00

Boy how things have changed since the good 'ole Sound Factory days, I like boys that actually wear shirts, I sleep on weekends and I don't have a constant boom, boom in my head but boy were those days fun while they lasted. My partner in crime from those days decided it was time to bring me back to my former self and made me a playlist of all SF hits http://www.imeem.com/people/dM0fteI/playlist/jiPgAeuE/jonathan_peters_sound_factory_classics_music_playlist/

Even if you never accompanied us to the guido den, you may reconzie most songs on the list if you ever 1) attended a party in JC 2) partied on a flort 2) attended the gang's NYE party (greatest song in the world) 3) know who Mr. Pinchy is 4) collect wicker baskets 5)know Benny

Enjoy....

Jenni "guys this is a great party" B

Hot off the Press...

2008-08-07T22:38:00.000-07:00

More Singapore news:

Roast meats stolen from delivery van

ROAST meats amounting to $270 were stolen from a delivery van early on Thursday morning.
The deliveryman had parked his van at the carpark of Block 252, Jurong East Street 24. He left the van unlocked when he went to deliver some food items to four stalls at a nearby market.

When he returned 10 minutes later, he found 7kg of roast pork, 5kg of barbequed pork and five roast ducks missing from the van.

In another theft, a coffeestall at Block 531A, Upper Cross Street lost $80 worth of cigarettes.

The stallowner, who is in his 50s, locked up and left on Wednesday night.
When he returned at 4.15 am, he found the plastic panel covering the cigarettes on display removed and some packets of cigarettes missing.

Now what am I going to do.....

2008-08-04T19:40:00.000-07:00

...with all my spare time??

Playgirl magazine will cease printing issues.

The women's nudie mag, featuring naked menz, will now be rebranded as just a website with pics and video on there.

What next Newsweek??? Jeff how will I get the latest on my favorite dinner topi, Christy Todd Whitman?? Is she still alive.

JB

Have you ever....

2008-07-30T23:26:00.000-07:00

Looked at someone and thought “what on earth made them buy that shirt”. Yes? No? I find myself thinking that a lot! Especially when I see adults wearing shirts with cartoon characters on them or sayings like “I’m a lot of work." Saw that one last night – she was lot of something except perhaps in shape (God I am mean!) Well I just experienced the thought again and this time it was a man is a blousy, short sleeved, washed out pink shirt that appeared to have bicycles sketched all over it. Honestly, that description is not doing it justice. I could not for the life of me image what drew him (no pun intended) to this shirt in the store and made him think “this will make a great shirt for work”

Hummm..

Jenni ”shallow” B

This is a long one but worth it

2008-07-25T01:39:00.000-07:00

Hello all! Hope you are well and enjoying the summer...seeing that it is almost over. Seriously...where does the time go??
A lot has happened since my last entry: Michelle’s visit, trip to Jakarta, ‘MY BIRTHDAY!!! Ma, aka Estelle Getty’s passing.

First, Michelle’s visit was awesome. Given her current condition I had to rethink my usual bar-hopping weekends for a more sophisticated approach so we spent a weekend BBQ hoping and (where else would a married woman with child want to spend her weekend away)..grocery store hopping (sorry Mish).

The first full day of her visit, Michelle, Phil and I went on the same hike I did when I first arrived, you remember the one with all the monkeys?? I got Mish all pumped for prime monkey viewing only to be disappointed by not seeing a single one. I could not believe it..there were 100’s last time! Where have all the monkeys gone?? Instead we were treated to a parade of reptiles big and small..all kinds and honestly not that exciting.

After the hike we made our first grocery store stop.

Saturday night, Mish rallied and we headed to a BBQ where I lost all maturity and got loaded..

Sunday after a breakfast feast, we went to 2 grocery stores...Ok I am not addicted to food (wait let me think about that one..)but Sunday I planned to host a BBQ at my condo and as those of you who have been to my cocktail parties know..there can never be enough food! Now the problem here was one thing, I can buy the food, I can prepare some of the food but have I never worked a grill???...NO! By mid-afternoon I was beginning to think that this BBQ may not have been such a great idea…then like a beacon in the night Phil arrived armed with marinated shrimp, BBQ tools and the actual knowledge of cooking. So as I was following Kitty’s recipe for guacamole step by step on my computer (Thanks K...big hit) Phil had sliced, diced, blanched and boiled all the ingredients for the other dishes “I” prepared. Needless to say he manned the grill the whole BBQ if you are reading this...P you Rock!

So as a result of some good team work, the BBQ was a success. Michelle got to meet the whole gang (minus a few) for a very civilized BBQ. It was great! What is that line I always used in NY...I love it when my friends become friends with my other friends..it rules!

So after a not-so-sad goodbye to Michelle...how can I be sad when we are both so happy with our lives??? It was time to get ready.... for the celebration of my birth!!!

Wow..34..where has my life gone...oh please who am I kidding I act like I am 24…and forget the whole..I can’t believe I am getting so old” whine..the older I get the happier I get ...bring on 34. As in years past my birthday’s have been great because of my friends and family and this year was no different. Saturday was the birthday date and it was fantastic! Phil surprised me with birthday dinner at the top of the Fullerton hotel. The restaurant is really small and intimate and has an amazing view. I was surprised however when he suggested picking me up at 7:30 for dinner since we usually head out later but whatever. So we sit down, pop champagne and about 15 minutes in, fireworks start going off right outside the window. Being as anal as Singaporeans are, they practice their National Day celebration festivities like a month in advance (Mish remember the planes??) so here we were watching these incredible fireworks display..this explained the early reservations..good work P!

After a very romantic dinner..Piglet for 2 was the entrée of choice..we headed to the bar for some after dinner drinks. By this time I think Phil was no longer drinking in celebration of my birthday but to ease the pain of the rugby injury he suffered earlier in the day. His head was stepped on and he spent the day in the hospital getting 10 stitches down the side of his head. Of course he didn’t tell me until I got in the cab and saw his bruised eye..Odd thing was, earlier in the day I told him not to get hurt as it would ruin my birthday weekend..I am such a sweetheart.

Sunday I woke to a bag full of great presents then headed to the typical Sunday champagne brunch for 15 people..you know the deal!

BUT even after all this fabulousness..I got really homesick by the end of Sunday night and cried (shocker right). All was fixed with some wine, homemade pizza and Sixteen Candles.

JennibB...one lucky girl!

Ok real quick, Jakarta as I am about to board heading back to Singapore. Picture this...I had to cut the MC for the party since our budget was really tight..it was their 40th Anniversary celebration. Being that they never have events, there were really bummed and asked if I would be the MC being the sucker I am I accepted. As the word “sure” was coming out of my mouth, in my head I was like “WHAT ARE YOU DOING” to make matters worse, I had to dress in Indonesian garb..actually it was not that extravagant but still. I was so nervous it was ridiculous!!! Really the worst part was every time I was rehearsing the introduction of the host of the event, Rubi Bambang..I kept saying RUDY BANGBANG. Needless to say, all went well and I enjoyed a very large glass of wine after.

The hotel was absolutely beautiful where I stayed but experienced another first. When driving up to the gate of the hotel, there are two armed guards with a very large German Sheppard ready to inspect inside and under your car for bombs etc. When you are waved through, you then have to walk through a metal detector to get inside the hotel. This is a 5 star property!! Crazy.

Alright done but not before a moment of silence for Estelle [silence] I will never forget the first time I saw you on Hollywood Squares and you weren’t in the Ma character and thinking.."Wow she is really not that old..what a great actress.” Anyone agree?? RIP

If you have made it through...thanks for reading.

Coming Soon....

2008-07-08T23:01:00.000-07:00

Booked...December 17th..

Count down has begun.

See you then!

XO

Overheard in the Office...

2008-07-07T23:48:00.000-07:00

Man 1 to Man 2...the only relaxation I am going to get today is the next 10 minutes in the bathroom...GROSS!

To make matters worse, I have a meeting with him in 15 and that is all I will be thinking about.

The Visitors

2008-06-25T02:54:00.000-07:00

I may be one of the most excited people right now...why you ask? Well not 1, not 2, but 3 of my favorite people with be visiting me within the next 4 months.

First up..She has had the incredible pleasure of being my very best friend for the last 19 years..has trouble differentiating between a puppy and a baby (which may soon prove to be a problem)and goes by the alias Durable Pants DRUMROLL

Michelle [Fallone] Russell
Arrival and Departure dates July 11-15 (intresting leaving right before my birthday...I am on to you Fallone!)

Second & Third: These "roommates" hold two very special places in my heart. One for being the bestest sister a girl could have and the other being the most like a sister who isn't a sister I ever had. There is no need for introduction:

MEL and Chris.

Can you just picture the pure comedy of this visit?? I can not wait!

Arrival and departure dates: October 3 - 12.

So..who's next?

Summer Concert Series

2008-06-24T07:45:00.001-07:00

The Summer Concert Series..I can literally hear those words as spoken on radio stations like Z100. "The 2008 Summer Concert Series brought to you by Ron Delsner (what that the promoters name??) and following this would always be a laundry list of bands that were coming to the NY area. Honestly, for a long time, summer was not complete without pouring vodka into a hairspray bottle, piling into Mom's car enroute to the Garden State Arts Center for the Steve Miller concert.

I have been keeping up with the acts coming to the NY: Madonna, George Michael, Duran Duran..umm hello!! How jealous am I???

Now's your turn to be jealous...introducing the Singapore Summer Concert Series...

Air Supply - yes still alive but look like they may die at any moment

AND...wait for it...

The Osmonds..no joke...all of them together and the show is SOLD OUT!

Jenni "no concert t-shirt for me" B

Rock on!

Time Flies...Tick Tock Tick Tock

2008-06-16T02:33:00.000-07:00

I can not believe I have not realized this all day (its 5:15pm) but today is my one year anniversary of being in Singapore. Yup it was one year ago today that I waddled off the plane with my life in two suitcases. I can not believe how quickly the time has gone.

I would not say I felt this everyday of the last year but I am so happy I took this chance (stupid ho). That is not to say that I do not miss you guys every single day because I do! Feeling mutual?? 

Anyway, here’s to a year! May the next one be just as great and may it see MANY visitors!

And here was one of my inspirations and the inspiration for this blog

"What You Waiting For?"

What an amazing time
What a family
How did the years go by?
Now it's only me

Tick tock
Tick tock
Tick tock
Tick tock
Tick tock
Tick tock
Tick tock
Tick tock
(La la la la la)

Like a cat in heat stuck in a moving car
A scary conversations,
Shut my eyes, can't find the brake
What if they say that you're a climber?

Naturally i'm worried if i do it alone
Who really cares cuz it's your life
You never know, it could be great
Take a chance cuz you might grow
Oh... oh ohhh

What you waiting
What you waiting
What you waiting
What you waiting
What you waiting for!?

What you waiting
What you waiting
What you waiting
What you waiting
What you waiting for!?

Tick tock
Tick tock
Tick tock
Tick tock

Take a chance you stupid Hoe

Like an echo pedal, you're repeating yourself
You know it all by heart
Why are you standing in one place?
Born to blossom, bloom to perish

Your moment will run out
Cuz of your sex chromosome
I know it's so messed up how our society all thinks (for sure)
Life is short, you're capable (uh huh)
Oh... oh ohhh

LOOK AT YOUR WATCH NOW!
YOU'RE STILL A SUPER HOT FEMALE!
YOU GOT YOUR MILLION DOLLAR CONTRACT!
AND THEY'RE ALL WAITING FOR YOUR HOT TRACK!

What you waiting
What you waiting
What you waiting
What you waiting
What you waiting for!?

What you waiting
What you waiting
What you waiting
What you waiting
What you waiting for!?

I can't wait to go
Back and do Japan
Get me lots of brand new fans
Osaka, Tokyo
You Harajuku girls
Damn, you've got some wicked style...

GO!
LOOK AT YOUR WATCH NOW!
YOU'RE STILL A SUPER HOT FEMALE!
YOU GOT YOUR MILLION DOLLAR CONTRACT!
AND THEY'RE ALL WAITING FOR YOUR HOT TRACK!

What you waiting
What you waiting
What you waiting
What you waiting
What you waiting for!?

What you waiting
What you waiting
What you waiting
What you waiting
What you waiting for!?

What you waiting for?
What you waiting for?
Take a chance, you stupid hoe

Take a chance, you stupid hoe
What you waiting for?
What you waiting for?
Take a chance, you stupid hoe
Take a chance, you stupid hoe

Love you always,
Stupid Ho

I Told You Something's Wrong With Me...

2008-06-12T06:09:00.000-07:00

Those were the words that were to be inscribed on my tombstone during my last bought of hypochondria. Well the feeling that something is wrong with me has reared its ugly head once again. Over the past couple of weeks I was certain that there was in fact something wrong with me and after visits to two doctors and a through physical(I actually got to see my insides on a large TV screen a la Discovery Channel). I have received a clean bill of health from both! Yep nothing wrong..well other than the adult acne I have acquired since being here...hello!! I am 33 years old..what the F??

I have come to the conclusion that I have a fear that when things are going really well for me.. BAM! something bad is going to happen. Where is Dr. C when you need him??

Well this time has taught me a lesson...I vow, here and now, that I will not be overcome by this anymore! (you may want to keep this entry as proof that I stated this)

Hope everyone is in good health!

Jenni "healthy as a horse" B

Yet another reason I miss NYC...

2008-06-03T22:27:00.000-07:00

Diane Von Furstenberg Sample Sale
Finally a shopping event to write about! The queen of dresses, Diane Von Furstenberg begins her summer sample sale TODAY, which lasts until Saturday. Pick up that dress you’ve been eying at Bergdorf’s but haven’t had the heart to fish out the wads of nonexistent bills from that slim wallet. Today, pull an Obama and say “Yes we can!” shop ’til we drop because we are worth it. Clothing is up to 75% off.

Please go and tell me all about it!!!!

I can see up that young ladies dress...

2008-06-02T23:48:00.000-07:00

Those words were uttered by my very good friend Jeff in reference to a drag queen that was sitting not so lady-like at a club in what seems a life time ago. Having just spent the weekend in Bangkok, I found Jeff’s words echo in my head on more than one occasion. Unlike that particular drag queen who shoved his bulging muscles into a tacky dress, the lady boys and transvestites that I bought handbags from, got a facial by and saw trying to entice gentleman into the Pussy Collection club, this was not just a Saturday night thing but how they lived their lives and from what I could tell is pretty much accepted in the daily culture.

After noticing and making a mental note of this to tell you all about..this article appeared in Monday’s newspaper.

Teenager crowned Thailand's most beautiful transvestite

PATTAYA (Thailand) - A TEENAGE transvestite who grew up on a military base was crowned Thailand's most beautiful transvestite late on Friday, in an extravagant annual pageant which transfixed the nation.
Kangsadarn Wongdusadeekul, known by her stage name 'Nonk', cried as she accepted her Miss Tiffany crown from last year's winner.
Nonk, 19, particularly impressed the panel of judges with her question round.
Asked if she would be happy to join the army as a man, she told the audience: 'Last year I went to register as a soldier but my figure had changed so the government did not let me.'
'We are beautiful - so we have no need to be soldiers,' she said, getting the biggest laugh of the night.
Her win brings considerable financial reward: 100,000 baht (S$4,356) - equivalent to a year's wages for a factory worker - and a Honda car.
But with the cost of a single pageant dress at least 10,000 baht, winning Miss Tiffany is about more than the prizes.
Most of the 30 transvestites parading across the glitter-filled stage said they were seeking social acceptance rather than money.
Nonk says she is lucky to have been accepted by her family as her father is a colonel in the Thai army.
Nonk said after the contest that she had known she wanted to be a girl from a very young age, and her military family were so understanding they now tell friends she is their daughter. They keep few photos of Nonk as a boy.
'They said I can be whatever I want to be so long as I take care of myself and other people,' she said.
Miss Tiffany 2008 was crowned in a sold-out 2,000-seater theatre, and televised nationally.
The runners-up were Pailin 'Bank' Denfhanapapol and Doolkamon 'Golf' Kontun, with awards also given for Miss Congeniality and Miss Photogenic.
The event has become increasingly high profile, with winners forging careers as television presenters and as the faces of beauty products.
Miss Tiffany will now advance to the global competition, Miss International Queen, to be held here in October. -- AFP
What I find so interesting is that the competition was a sold-out event and televised nationally, not just held in some niche club
Would you watch??? I certainly would!

There was a picture but its embedded in the article and I can't extract!!

PVSD

2008-06-02T00:12:00.000-07:00

I am sorry to report that I am suffering from PVSD...Post Vacation Stress Disorder. I have diagnosed myself and am pretty sure that I have coined this acronym.

Symptoms include:

- Constant thoughts of fun vacation memories
- The energy to do nothing but think of silly blog entries
- Feeling like a fat ass.
- Panic attacks resulting from the thought that your liver may fall out at any moment
- A little voice inside your head telling you, you may be an alcoholic and a second voice convincing you, you are not (also referred to as schizophrenia)
- Constant surfing of the web for next vacation destination
- Clock watching...counting the minutes until you can be at the gym working off all the food and liquor consumed over said vacation.

If you have experienced any of the symptoms above, then I am afraid, you too, have suffered from PVSD. You can thank me later for diagnosis.

Bangkok report tomorrow. I am suffering too much to write about it now!

The Olympic Dream

2008-05-28T00:20:00.000-07:00

Today is my last day in Shanghai and I have so much to tell.

My first day in the office (Friday) I was told that the Olympic torch relay was passing the office at 2:00pm...how exciting!!! So my co-worker Mandy and I headed down to the street for a closer look. The street was packed and let me tell you nothing is more frightening than a group of really excited Chinese people. I felt like I was at a rock concert and on the edge of the mosh pit! They were chanting, waving the Chinese flag and jockeying for the best places, traditionally not the tallest people..they are quite strong! Being the only western face that I could see, I quickly grabbed a flag and began to wave so to fit in..Jennib always the follower! Within 10 minutes there was a big surge in the crowd and I witnessed the flame pass me by. Now being 5'3” (actually 5’5” in my Manolos which made me tallest in the crowd) and being the only western face has its advantages as I was suddenly whisked away and the touch handed to me...

Ok, ok, obviously kidding about the last part but I did see the torch and it was a pretty cool experience.

So after coming as close to the Olympics as I will probably ever get, it was time to start the weekend and time for Phil to arrive. We were staying at the Grand Hyatt. This is where I stayed last time, the one with the really annoying technology but the building is beautiful, has a great bar and it really tall! We stayed in the 77th floor!!

Can I just tell you again how much I love Shanghai?? What a great city! It is such a great mix of history, interesting architecture, culture, awesome neighborhoods, grittiness, amazing food and restaurants. Let me repeat that...AMAZING FOOD AND RESTUARANTS. Phil and I basically ate our way through the city. Boy can we eat.

We had a good mix of touristy pricey, trendy/innovative and traditional Shanghainese cuisine. It was a toss up between trendy/innovative and traditional but I am going for the traditional Shanghainese meal. OH MY GOD! One of my favorite moments of the evening was when (in between chopsticks full of food) I commented on how much I loved the noodles. Phil, knowing my phobia of carbs, commented on how he never thought he would hear those words form JenniB’s lips. Shortly thereafter Phil commented on how much he loved the fried beef...Phil is slowly weaning himself off vegetarianism...never thought I would hear that from his lips. What type of influence are we on each other????

In between our feeding sessions we did manage to work off the food by doing a bit of site seeing.

Here we are at the Shanghai Museum (we did go in)

At The Bund opposite the skyline (terrible pic)

Me and some fish in a garden. Shortly after this photo was taken Phil dropped our map into the water to the shock and dismay of the people around us. I pretended I didn’t know him!

Image from the meat market. That is an actual pig face…give a whole new meaning to pressed ham huh Jeff??

Oh wait one bad thing did happen to me….I was given a counterfeit $50RMB bill. Yup..I was given the shocking news at the café in the museum (don’t worry we were not eating there too..just a beverage). I really didn’t believe the guy so later that afternoon we stopped for ice coffee and I tried to pass it off on Starbucks (hey they have enough money) only to be told..sorry no good. The words “that guy was right” just about left my lips but I quickly regained my “passing counterfeit money” composure and acted shocked and amazed but could feel my face being red as a tomato.

If there is one phrase that will always remind me of Shanghai it would have to be…..”you want handbag, watch, t-shirt…Gucci, Prada, Louis Vuitton…the knockoffs are endless and the salespeople..lets just say annoying is an understatement.

Bangkok this weekend then a vacation hiatus.

Hope everyone had a great Memorial Day weekend! What did you do?

(Un) Tick the Box

2008-05-20T00:20:00.000-07:00

Mother Nature is trying to send me a message and the message is JenniB is not supposed to be adventurous! Let’s think about my scuba diving experiences (on more than one occasion)…near death experience, rain, rain, rain, choppy water and weather so bad they had to call off the dive. Now to my first climb, cold, rain, mist…yup that about sums up the weather…weather so bad that we were informed that climbers had not reached the peak for the last 10 days! I was determined to remain positive even upon hearing this bad news.

Ok I am getting a little ahead of myself so let me start of the beginning…..

It was Thursday afternoon, Phil and I were getting picked up from the office at 3pm and heading to Malaysia to catch a flight to Kota Kinabalu. P was still in total work mode so the hour long car ride consisted mostly of cheesy Malaysian music and the click, click, sound of blackberry keys. I, on the other hand, had left work behind and was dreaming of a nice glass of wine at the airport to start off the vacation.

Rude awakening #1: Once we got to the airport and got ourselves all checked in, we went on the hunt for a vacation starting beverage only to remember that we were in an Islamic country so no bars or alcohol sold in the food outlets..sorry but a latte is not how I like to kick off my vacation.

Disappointed and feeling like two people who should be headed for the Betty Ford clinic as opposed to vacation, we sulked and waited to board the flight. Being the one that booked the flight, I assured P that Air Asia’s website was full of Asian faces and would certainly serve booze (not sure of my rational here but oh well).

Rude awakening #2: You guessed it fruit juices and soft drinks only! This made us both laugh as we kept catching each other examining the menu is hopes that we missed the booze section (mom and dad I really don’t have a problem I swear).

One other strange experience worth mentioning from this flight was that they sold Air Asia merchandise (hats, t-shirts, keychains) on the flight. I have never seen this before and people were actually buying them! The guy next to me as a matter of fact (not Phil but could you image …I would die) purchased a bright red baseball hat with Air Asia in big white letters written across it. You have got to be kidding me! Now, (some of you know) that one of my pet peeves are people who purchase and wear concert t-shirts at the actual concert…this experience has taken that pet peeve to a whole new level.

We get to KK and are met by our driver who then informs us of the inclement weather on the mountain. Here is where I started to get nervous…perhaps I really was cursed by Mother Nature! We checked into our “boutique” hotel (don’t get me started) and set out for some food and DRINK along the KK waterfront. We stumbled across this cute little Indian place with outdoor seating, ordered proper beverages, made a toast to a great vacation and before the sweet taste of wine could touch my lips, we heard a huge crack of thunder and without a warning the skies opened and it started to POUR … like torrential rain! We had a good laugh and enjoyed the rest of the evening inside without much incident.

Phil's first vacation drink

Next day, day 1 of hike. We are up at 6 for our 6:30am pick-up. I put on my carefully put together hiking outfit. You know..it had to look sporty but nice and not like you are trying too hard…cargo shorts, short sleeve safari-like shirt and long sleeve shirt tied around my waist in case I get cold (ornamental really). We wait outside and it was quite cold so I had to put on the ornamental shirt which really didn’t look good.

Rude Awakening #3: Carefully crafted hiking outfit….losing it’s style.

As we make our way up the mountain to the starting gate the weather starts to get colder and colder, wetter and wetter and cloudier and cloudier. Not good for hiking business.
This is when I realize that I will have to wear Phil’s water proof jacket the whole hike totally ruining the outfit.

Rude Awakening #4: I look like a total man is various shades of green/brown (Why didn’t I buy my own waterproof jacket??)

Is that a man...nope its me

Day 1 of the climb, other than being wet and cold, was uneventful, fun and challenging. We had to give ourselves a pat on the back as we were told that it takes hikers 5-6 hours to do the first part (approx. 10,000 ft)…we did it in 3 ½.

Here I am displaying my serious moutineering skills..NOT! I was upright shortly after this photo

Favorite part of hike

By the time we reached the lodge I was an ice cube and being inside the lodge did not make things much better. The heat is not turned on until 8pm…it was 2pm. It was so windy and cloudy that it actually looked like it was snowing outside. We sat around wearing all the dry clothes we had with us, hats, gloves and numerous pairs of socks. Seriously, I don’t think I had ever been that cold.

Next morning (2am) we get up to the sounds of howling wind for the hike to the peak. Phil comments on my lack of moodiness…impressive!

Rude Awakening #5: 3:00am…we are advised that it is too windy and cold to go to the summit. We went all that way and could not complete the climb. I was so upset and I felt really bad for Phil as he loves this kind of stuff. I surprised myself by how disappointed I was!

Nothing else to do but head back to bed and wait to climb down around 8am. The climb down was much of the same…rain and wind. Oddly enough the climb down was so much harder and I was dead by the time we finished.

Finally it was time to head to the Shangri-La for some relaxing beach time with Val & Alex. This time Mother Nature was on my side and the weather was absolutely beautiful. It was unbelievable that we were in the same country.

We slept all the way to the resort and made quite an entrance upon arrival. We were both still so cold that we walked into the lobby in all of our fleece which by this time was caked with mud. Val is a Shangri-La VIP so we were treated the same way…there we were at the VIP check-in: unshowered, in fleece & hiking boots, wet and muddy. They were bringing us iced tea and cooling hand clothes which surprised me as I am pretty sure we looked homeless.

Sunset at Shangri-La

Won’t bore you anymore about the rest of the weekend but it was great. I sailed my first boat and went parasailing or is it paragliding??for the first time…Mother Nature cooperating the whole time.

Finally…Rude Awakening #6: I can barely walk! No joke. I cringe at the site of stairs! I am hoping some restorative yoga does the trick this evening.

I WILL climb that mountain!!

Love Me.

Yuck Mouth

2008-05-13T23:34:00.000-07:00

Do any of you guys remember this guy?? He used to be on those little educational “commercials” on ABC between the Saturday morning cartoons. He would sing a little ditty “They call me Yuck Mouth ‘cause I don’t brush” Any recollection?

Well you can call me yuck mouth and I DO brush (3 times a day to be exact). I went to the dentist yesterday for the first time in Singapore and the results were NOT GOOD. Now I would not mind had I not made a dentist visit in years but I was an every 6 months visitor in NYC. Especially with my hillbilly bonding constantly falling out (this should have tipped me off that my dentist was a total quack).

So picture it, I am off to the dentist ready for an easy check-up and cleaning only to be told I have not 1, not 2, not 3, not 4 BUT 5 cavities!!! F-I-V-E! This was quite embarrassing as the conversation went something like this upon our first meeting:

Dentist: Hello Miss….
Me: You can call me Jennifer
Dentist: Ok Hello Miss Jennifer
Me: [inside my head] actually just Jennifer…oh just let it go
Dentist: What can I do for you today?
Me: I am just here for a cleaning. My last dentist visit was in September (I must admit this was said with kind of an attitude)
Dentist: Ok lets have a look.
Dentist: oh…oh….oh… umm oh I just don’t know what to tell you.
Me: About?
Dentist: You need a lot of work. You have many problems
Me: Chuckle I don’t think so. I have never had a problem with my teeth
Dentist: these problems could not have developed since September.
Me: I swear that was my last visit..I promise (I actually had my hands clenched in a pleading position…all while wearing some protective tinted goggles..not a good look)
Dentist: (mirror in hand) Let me show you.

Sure enough I was able to see the “shadow of decay” she pointed out on each of the 5 teeth. As soon as I realized she was right I started to freak out. I thought I was going to be on the receiving end of 5 silver fillings and that my mouth would look like railroad tracks when I opened it. I was quickly assured that the fillings would match my teeth. WHEW! So 3 fillings later and $250 (actually not that bad) poorer. I walked out without a cleaning, two more appointments and a new nickname for myself…yuck mouth.

How could this have slipped through the cracks (no pun intended) with the other dentist???

NYer’s: STAY AWAY FROM CENTRAL PARK WEST DENTAL!! JennRob I think you go there too….find another dentist!

Tokyo Technology

2008-05-12T22:08:00.000-07:00

I have said it once and I will say it again…technology scares me!

TOKYO - Cigarette vending machines in Japan may soon start counting wrinkles, crow's feet and skin sags to see if the customer is old enough to smoke.
The legal age for smoking in Japan is 20 and as the country's 570,000 tobacco vending machines prepare for a July regulation requiring them to ensure buyers are not underage, a company has developed a system to identify age by studying facial features.
By having the customer look into a digital camera attached to the machine, Fujitaka Co's system will compare facial characteristics, such as wrinkles surrounding the eyes, bone structure and skin sags, to the facial data of over 100,000 people, Hajime Yamamoto, a company spokesman said. With face recognition, so long as you've got some change and you are an adult, you can buy cigarettes like before.

Seriously, I would like to go, put my face in the digital camera and have them tell me how old my face is (that would be my real face not my other face).

Resolutions

2008-05-12T00:13:00.000-07:00

For once in my life I am actually accomplishing a new years resolution…I am climbing a mountain.

When I returned to Singapore after the holidays, many conversations revolved around setting those pesky resolutions. Many years ago I just gave up on setting them as I never really followed through leaving me feeling like a loser. So my M.O. became “how can you fail when you don’t set out to do it in the first place???” I know, not much of a “winners attitude” but hey it made me feel better about myself.

Ok I am babbling…so on to this year. I kind of felt like a loser not setting some and after reaching the goal of scuba certification I thought what the hell I have always wanted to climb something so that will be my resolution and as of this Saturday I will be able to put a big TICK in that box!

Phil and I are climbing Mount Kinabalu on the island of Borneo. The total climb is 4,095 meters (13,435 ft) above sea level and its one of the 4 tallest peaks in S.E. Asia. You really don’t need fancy climbing equipment just some trekking boots (which I am not a proud owner of and which make my legs look like a professional football players) a backpack and some warm clothes. The hike itinerary goes like this:

Friday: 6:30am pick-up at the hotel
7:30am Hike begins
8:30am I start to get cranky (just kidding)
2:30pm Check in to the hotel mid-climb for the night.

Saturday: 2:30AM (yes you read that correctly AM) get ready to head for the summit.
2:31AM Me: F*ck resolutions
5:30AM (I think) arrive at summit and watch the sunrise
6:00AM me: God I hope I look good in these sunrise pictures. Note to self, must come up with “first mountain climbed pose” for pictures!
7:00 – 1:00pm descent
1:30pm Transfer to the Shangri-La Rasa Ria hotel to meet our friends Val & Alex.
1:45pm Wine in hand
2:00pm Sleep or spa. Not sure if my leg will want to be touched at that point.

Monday: Fly back to Singapore.

So there you have it. Keep your fingers crossed that I avoid killing myself!

Jeff I will make sure to take many photos of the indigenous plant life.

Yodel lay he hoo!

HealthCare

2008-05-08T02:32:00.000-07:00

I have been all about work lately and you know the saying all work and no play..yes makes Jenn a very dull girl. All this not having fun makes me think about NYC, you guys and all the fun I might be missing.

I got an email the other days from JennRob telling me that she was getting ready for the HealthCare conference and all the memories came flooding back! OH MY GOD! How much fun did we all have at that conference! The girls + booze +vegas = TONS of fun. Yes we worked our butts off but partied just as hard!

So many memories were made over the years

- bachorlette parties
- David/Todd/Will
- Niko – po-po-zow
- Late night incidents with trash cans
- Jeans
- All night drinking at the casino bar
- Post-conference pool with bloody mary’s and water aerobics
- The birth of big D and little D
- The introduction of Larry
- Event planners for strippers

God there are so many.

Here’s to the B girls! Miss you and JennRob good luck this year!

XOX

Only in India

2008-04-25T01:37:00.000-07:00

What is the deal with India? First two faces and now this.

Take a look at the size of that child! He is 10 months old and 49 LBS, eats 20 times a day! For the love of god! And get this...the person holding the child if the MOTHER! Kid you not. I am desperatly trying to find a picture of the dad.

Think I am better off not having been to India yet. Who knows what will happen!!

Have a good weekend!

I love you the weight of this baby 10 time over!

You asked for it...

2008-04-23T23:52:00.000-07:00

Not the best photo but shows the costume. Here you go JB as Madonna -

Didn't really get the hair right but you get the idea.

Again I ask myself. Where has my dignity gone??

Oh and in response to Jeff's comment on the last post. Love that you wanted to be M too. Reminds me of the time when you sent me a dozen roses for Valentine's day with a card reading "I got the moves baby you got the motion..lets get together to cause a commotion" Was there ever a question??? LOVE YOU!

Blonde Ambition

2008-04-22T20:01:00.000-07:00

Hi. There I go, going MIA once again. No excuse I just have not been feeling myself which resulted in some major bloggers block. Think it was a mix of stress, homesickness, uncertainty, and a general self reflection. You would think my brush with “celebrity” and non-celebrity I experienced at the Contender Asia would have snapped me out of it but not so much. Well I have decided to pull myself up by my bootstraps and get back into the swing of things. My life is anything but terrible and knowing that you guys are there, while I am here makes me miss you but is so comforting and wonderful at the same time. Ok I am starting to freak myself out by this post so on to other more upbeat convo….

This weekend was a great one. My friend Toby celebrated his 30th birthday and the theme of the event was “dress as what you wanted to be when you grew up”. So can you guess what I was???

[cue Jeopardy theme music here]

I was Madonna from the Blonde Ambition tour…pointy boobs and all!! I unfortunately do not have a picture that really shows the get-up. There were many photos being taken that day so as soon as I get one I will certainly post. I did win best costume but I think that was for the mere fact that I actually walked out of the house in a shocking gold bustier and hot pants! One lesson learned…I am not meant for blonde hair!

The day was really fun. Toby rented a party bus and we did a bar crawl through Singapore. Image 40 people in various states of dress and undress walking through the airport singing happy birthday! Priceless! It was amazing to see people’s reactions to us. It was almost like being a celebrity; people would come up to us and nervously ask if they could take our picture. This happened many times throughout the day!! I just hope my blond head and pointy boobs don’t end up on the cover of some porn movie!

So what would your costume be?

JenniB = Total Loser

2008-04-13T20:51:00.000-07:00

For those that read this regularly, you know that this weekend was a big one for me…. The Asia Contender Finale!! Let me tell you it did not disappoint!!! It was fabulous! Staying true to my word I punched, coached and yelled my way through all 4fights. Then as if the night could get any better, Phil and I went to a grab a drink and some food after the fights and it turned out that the after party was being held at the restaurant so I met some of the fighters. Imagine my excitement!!

Me and John Wayne. He lost the main event!! Look at that bruise!

Me and Dzhabar...he is a scary guy.

Me and Sean (another favorite)

Now here is where my loserness really shines. I was so excited by the “celebrities” that my eyes played a trick on me. My favorite boxer on the show was this Australian guy named Soren. He is super cute and seems to be a really nice guy. So after spotting him by the pool table it was my goal to get a picture before the end of the evening. After downing aglass of wine, I headed over:

Me: can I take a picture with you? [smooth, I know]
“Soren”: Sure what’s your name”.
Me: I’m Jennifer [hummm he seems taller on TV]
My fists clenched in my “picture with figher pose” Picture taken. Then all his friends start jumping in the picture and many more photos taken
Me: [inside my head] Wow he has a lot of friends from Australia here with him
“Soren”: So why do you want my picture??
Me: [inside my head] Ut-Oh…this is NOT Soren. This is just some regular guy!!!
Me: Oh I just felt like it
Back at table
Me: I am such an idiot
Phil: Why?
Me: I just took a whole bunch of pictures with the wrong guy!!!

Needless to say Phil had a good laugh at that especially the photo with me doing the “fighter pose” with “Soren”. What that guy must have been thinking!!!

Scary that I keep looking at the pics with all the friends and I am certain I see the guy on the right all the time!!! How embarrassing! There is a resemblance don’t you think?

Real Soren

Soren Imposter and friends

All was not lost as the next day, out to lunch with friends, I spotted the real Soren along with 3 of the other fighters. Phil was trying to convince me to take a photo with him but I felt bad since he was eating and more nervous that they would recognize me as the crazy girl snapping photos the night before. Again, I was so excited and staring at them as we walked past that I walked smack right into a pole with a loud CLANK.

The Other Face...

2008-04-09T01:21:00.000-07:00

Many of you are familiar with the story of my first bikini waxing experience where the “technician” explained that everyone has two faces and you must take care of them both.

I don’t thinks she was talking about this:

Baby with 2 faces worshipped as reincarnation of Hindu goddess

NEW DELHI - A BABY with two faces - two noses, two pairs of lips and two pairs of eyes - was born in a northern Indian village, where she is doing well and is being worshipped as the reincarnation of a Hindu goddess.

Hundreds of pilgrims have visited Lali, the 1-month-old baby, and her impoverished parents to touch her feet out of respect and receive blessings.
'She drinks milk from her two mouths and opens and shuts all the four eyes at one time,' Mr Ali said.

The child apparently has an extremely rare condition known as craniofacial duplication, where a single head has two faces. All of Lali's facial features are duplicated with the exception of her ears - she has two.

Poor Lali has three faces to maintain!! Was that joke wrong???????????

Front Page News ~ Singapore Style

2008-04-02T22:28:00.000-07:00

The following two stories were front page news in the Strait Times,

Hairstylist dies after choking on biscuits

HUNGRY after a late-night chat, a hairstylist helped herself to biscuits, only to choke on them fatally.
Huang Yan Ping, 33, was in the Jurong East flat she shared with two others at around 11.30pm on Tuesday when she started choking, reported Shin Min Daily News on Wednesday.

Her flatmates tried to force the biscuits out of her mouth, but Ms Huang died after a burst of coughs.

She was taken to the National University Hospital by ambulance but was pronounced dead after arrival.
Ms Huang, who came here from Johor 10 years ago, was married with two children, her friend, Ms Zhou, told Shin Min.

Man collapses and dies after dancing

HE LOVED swinging to the beat of arcade dance machines, and went dancing there thrice a week. But on Tuesday, Zhang Wei Ming, 23, danced for the last time when he collapsed and died after dancing for about half an hour.

Mr Zhang, who helped in his father's contractor business, was at an arcade at Dhoby Ghaut MRT station at around 8pm when he suddenly passed out.

Nobody knew how to perform cardiopulmonary resuscitation or CPR.

He was found dead after he was taken to the Singapore General Hospital.

His family told the Chinese evening dailies that he smoked heavily, kept late nights and had Thalassemia, a type of blood disorder.

Don't get me wrong choking on a biscuit and dancing yourself to death are very sad but front page news??? Where's the real crime, governor sex scandals, and Colombian drug cartels??

Actually these are better than the series of stories last week about a crack down on the cosmetic surgery industry...What are Singaporeans to do without skin whitening?? Big news!

Good thing I can get the real news, NY Post, online :).

NY Post..best front page headline ever..(talking about workers stealing stuff from the rubble after 9/11)... ASH HOLES. So clever!

The Way to my Heart…

2008-04-01T02:47:00.000-07:00

The way to most normal woman’s hearts is flowers, sappy cards or stuffed teddy bears wearing shirts that say “I love you Bear-y much” but not me…I kind of hate that stuff.

Come to think of it though, there are many ways to my heart: food, wine, food; but I have to say that Phil may have just found the express route to my thumper….are you ready….are you set…lets get ready to rumble!!!! TICKETS TO THE CONTENDER ASIA FINALE!!!! Are you freaking kidding me?? He had mentioned this in passing a few weeks ago but it has been confirmed…yours truly will be (literally) ringside for the main event! Who’s the lucky girl???????

Sad thing is he doesn’t even really like the show and I will most likely be yelling like a man…actually…who’s the lucky guy????

April 12th its on!!!!!!!!!

Gimme Shelter

2008-03-27T01:30:00.000-07:00

So an American girl, Australian girl, Irish girl and a Brit all head to Saigon…sounds like the beginning of a dirty joke doesn't it???

Well here you have it, the much overdue Easter in Saigon wrap-up.

When my boss (an American) questioned where I would be over the long weekend and I told him Ho Chi Minh (Saigon), he was like wow! that will be really great for you to see as an American….a lot of history! Of course I knew he was talking about the history of the Vietnam War but did I really even know about the Vietnam War…that would be a big NOPE. The first thing that came to mind were the numerous movies depicting the war but I don’t really remember the stories only all those sweaty, dirty, smoking guys….I digress. SO just like my Wolf Blitzer cram sessions, I started reading anything I could get my hands on V.W. related in an effort to be able to “hold my own” when exploring all the HCM had to offer.

I think we were reading about it here…see how interested I am???

Our first full day we headed to the Cu Chi tunnels which were about 1.5 hours outside of the city. The tunnels are approx. 250K long and the narrowest things. It is very hard to believe that men could actually fit in them. That was an advantage western men couldn't fit in them! The tunnels were so well hidden and complex that they ran right under American bases. American’s could not figure out why they were getting shot in their tents at night!

VC soldier getting into tunnel…

We were able to stuff ourselves into a portion of the tunnel (widened for westerners) and it was the darkest, hottest most claustrophobic places I have ever been. It was pretty scary. As we crawled through we had to keep talking to each other because we were all freaking out.

The descent

I have to say walking though the forest where the tunnels were located was an experience. All that reading and all those movies started to flash in my head. I seriously felt that I should have a Marlboro red hanging out or my mouth, full-on camouflage and helmut with the Rolling Stones Gimme Shelter playing as the soundtrack. The gun shots from the shooting range def. added to the atmosphere.

Girls with US tank destroyed by landmine

The second highlight was the War Remnants Museum. WOW!!!!!!!!!!!! The photos in the museum were amazing, I mean totally amazing. They actually made you feel like you were there and as you can imagine that was not always a great thing. Guess who got emotional??? Shocker right???

The most interesting part was the Agent Orange section where they described and documented the damage done by the use of chemical weapons. There was actually the fetus of Siamese twins with cleft palates in mason jars…gross I know but completely fascinating. We all discussed how one-sided the museum was to the Vietnamese (not surprising) but it was amazing to see these images and read stories that you would never be able to back home.

Hummm….I can sense your concern right now….don’t worry I am still JenniB and there was certainly time for food and drink. My favorite restaurant and really my favorite night of the whole trip was Temple Club. Traditional Vietnamese food, great atmosphere, super cheap oh and it does help that I read Brad and Angelina ate there when they were in HCM….I was SOLD!

After dinner drinks in Temple Club Lounge

Our Hotel AKA love boat…dosen't it remind you of the love boat?

View from our terrace

Finally, to top off the trip I bought my first real piece of art..it is beautiful!!! It is getting framed right now but I will take a picture (once Phil hangs it) and post!!

I am actually listening to Gimme Shelter right now…..

Memories: Good Times with the B's.....

2008-03-23T21:41:00.001-07:00

Hello!! I hope everyone had a great Easter weekend.

Easter brings back fond memories of coloring eggs with the B clan. We, of course, had the traditional PAAS tablets that turned the eggs one (sometimes) bright color and for the more adventurous and patient, a two-toned egg by dipping one side in at a time. My most vivid memory, however, was the whole production of Mr. B’s eggs. Unlike the rest of us (the kids) that had our glasses of green, red or orange dye, Mr. B had a big bowl where he would put drops of this liquid dye then blow the colors around to make a swirling array of colors. We would all stare in amazement as dad gently blew the dye to make the “perfect” mixture. Once ready (about ½ hour later), it was time to dip the first egg. Seriously, you would think that Dad was about to create Faberge eggs the way we all held our breath as he loaded the egg on the wire holder. One thing I need to mention is that the strange thing about this dye is that the egg took on the color as soon as it hit the water so placement was of the up-most importance. So with egg on wire holder in hand, Dad would find what he thought to be the best spot and start to lower the egg into the water, inevitably (seriously everytime) the egg would fall off the holder and splash into the water only to come out with one side looking like someone got sick on it, the other blank and most of the time cracked.

Mom: Oh Mike...keep your hand steady..gimme the egg!
Dad: [mad face...silence]
Kids: Kind of scared and slowly losing interest as our eggs sat at the bottom of paas filled glasses.

In the event of crackage, Mom would make one of the kids eat it since it could not be redipped…average of 3 eggs per kid (after dinner)!! I will never forget the year that in an effort to avoid incident explained above, Dad had the idea to tie a piece of thread around the egg and spin it into the water for maximum color coverage. For those of you who know my dad, he does not have the slimmest fingers; actually they are like sausages so the pure comedy (actually stress) of him trying to tie the tread almost brought down the whole egg coloring operation. Unfortunately this McGuyver-like idea didn't really work either as most of the eggs came out looking like a bad acid trip.

By the end of two dozen eggs, me, my bros and sister would head to our rooms with red, green, yellow stained fingers, totally over the coloring experience and full from the cracked hard-boiled eggs, mom, unhappy with the less than perfect eggs, would spend the rest of the evening redipping and dad angered from his less than perfect attempts would retire to the family room with his matzo (the Easter staple in the B household) to contemplate next year’s strategy. Good Times!

In all seriousness, it may not read like it and the above may sound like no fun at all but it really is one of my fondest memeories of growing up. That's the B's, warts and all and I wouldn't change a thing.

PS Vietnam weekend wrap-up tomorrow.

Would. You. Die!

2008-03-18T22:38:00.000-07:00

Centava Dozier, a 21 year old female from Houston, TX got a very unexpected surprise after waking up from a nap aboard an American Airlines flight.

Dozier was on a flight from DFW International airport to Los Angeles, CA, to visit some family and friends. When the flight took off, she was sitting on an unoccupied row on the plane and decided to get some rest.

When she woke up, she found a sticky substance in her hair along with a man masturbating in the seat right next to her!!!!!!

According to reports, Dozier claims that when she went to ask the flight attendants for help and to have the pervert removed from the seat next to her and taken to his assigned seat, the staff did nothing.

Thankfully, the man was arrested when the plane landed though.

Dozeir has filed a $200,000 suit against American Airlines, claiming that a passenger masturbated next to her and then ejaculated in her hair while she slept, and that the crew failed to assist her afterwards.

Representatives for American Airlines maintain that their staff aboard the plane took appropriate action and had the individual arrested upon arrival.

Thankfully I can not sleep on planes!!

Miss Saigon

2008-03-17T00:05:00.000-07:00

Just as I have started to get over the real life stinks and I miss vacation attitude, I learned that my waitlist has cleared and I will be celebrating the resurrection of Christ in Ho Chi Minh City (formerly Saigon), Vietnam. WOO-HOO! I love 3 day weekends!!!!!!!!! Helen Rachel, Maree and I are heading out on Thursday afternoon for a girl's weekend filled with culture, food, drink, spa and shopping. I hear that you can get clothes made there in a day for like no money so I have spent the weekend pulling photos out of magazines in the hope are creating a new wardrobe. Most of the things that I have read compare HCM to New York so I am not sure if this trip is going to fulfill my New York craving or just make me really home sick…let's hope for the former.

I miss you guys!

XOJB

Bad Blogger

2008-03-13T23:59:00.000-07:00

I know, I know I have been totally MIA. Once again, work has gotten in the way of my social activities. I am also sorry to say that I can not really “talk” but I will leave you with this little story.

Picture it…team drinks, group of 6.. guests include President of the region , COO, other members of senior management and this new guys who recently transferred from the U.S. President decides to get the conversation flowing by starting a game of Two Truths and a Lie. For those not familiar with this game, you tell two true things and one false and everyone has to guess what the lie is. Game starts and you hear the typical, innocent answers: I have 10 cats, I have two belly buttons…stupid stuff UNTIL we get to the American guy. What gems does he come up with:

1) I gave a guy a blow job
2) I have been in jail
3) I lost my virginity to a family member

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?????????????????? Everyone at the table just didn’t know what to do!!!!! This is a work function!!

#1 was the false statement! Yes he lost it to a family member (his aunt).

The scenario I like to imagine in my head is that he had sex with a family member who was a minor, went to jail where he gave a guy a blow job.

He’s not climbing the corporate ladder.

Happy Weekend.

C'mon

2008-03-11T03:10:00.000-07:00

Are you really surprised???

Vacation (Part 1)

2008-03-03T01:20:00.000-08:00

Hey everyone (read that using a low depressed voice!) Today is my first day back to work after a wonderful 2 week vacation. Depressed and sad can almost sum up the way I feel. That being said, it was the best vacation I have ever experienced and much has to do with my wonderful travel companions, Kelly, Adam, Phil, Daniela and Rita LOVE YOU GUYS!

Of course the beautiful destinations helped to achieve the “best vacation status”..Cambodia, Bangkok and Railey Beach (Thailand). It was the perfect blend of history, culture, shopping, food, sporty activities and pure relaxation! I am going to spread out my review and explanation of the trip over the week so I can relive just a little longer!

LOCATION: Singapore
Days 1-4

Friday, February 15th
I was so excited to welcome my first guests to Singapore! I was all ready, Rita was due to arrive on SATURDAY at 12 something AM with the NYC crew landing at 6:30am on SUNDAY. I had an early dinner with my friend Helen Friday night so I could be well rested for the arrivals on SATURDAY and SUNDAY. I have to mention here that I was so excited to pick everyone up at the airport. In all my 33 years, I have never met anyone before…how exciting!!

So FRIDAY NIGHT around 1am (really SATURDAY) I was fast asleep and my cell phone starts ringing. I thought it was prob some drunk dialing so I turned over and tried to resume my slumber until I heard the message indicator go off so I decided to see who was out and what they wanted. That is when I hear Rita on the message saying that she was at the airport and could not find me… ME: What?? What??? But she is supposed to be here on Saturday! Saturday!! Then I really thought about it and seeing that it was after midnight..it was Saturday WHAT A DUMBASS! So I officially messed up my first airport pick-up! I am such a loser!

Saturday, February 16th
Thankfully Rita was not too upset with me and we were able to enjoy some local food ~ Singapore style.

We headed to the hawker center and enjoyed some BBQ stingray and durian (see pic below). Durian is the strangest fruit you will ever eat. The consistency is that of runny cheese and it smells like dirty gym socks (no kidding it is banned from public transportation) but it is delicious!

Sunday, February 17th
Kelly, Adam, Daniela and Phil (he was in NYC for business) arrived at 6:30am and I am happy to report I was there on time! We all headed back to my condo and settled in before champagne brunch which began at Noon. We had a table for 12 -- a mix of old and new friends and it was fabulous. We ate, drank and drank some more until the brunch concluded at 3:00pm.

Kelly & Daniela at brunch

Me (looking trashed), Alex, Val and Helen

Me and Phil

What do you think we went home??? Nope, we all hoped a water taxi and headed to the Pump Room for some more beverages. The day was beautiful so we sat outside enjoyed the beer (brewed by our friend Alex) and watched as some of the group frolicked in the fountains. NYC crew, see Adam for some video footage of Kelly’s fall and Daniela’s awesome reaction. I can laugh at this one since there was no injuries, however, it is all fun and games until someone breaks or seriously bruises a rib (poor K)

Me, Adam, Rita and Rachel on water taxi

So you think we went home now…kind of! We headed back to my condo where we sat by the pool and drank even more and enjoyed some late night swimming. At one point in the JenniB way, I decided I wanted to make a toast to which my Singapore friend replied, Yes Jenn we know you love us...jeez am I really that predictable??

Monday, February 18th
LAST DAY OF WORK. Needless to say this was one of the worst days of my life!! I was extremely hung over and had to leave Phil, Daniela and Kelly swimming in the pool…BASTARDS!

Thankfully the day went by quickly and all that was left between my fat ass and an airplane seat to Cambodia was a dinner of chili crab and other local favorites..now that I can handle.

Tuesday, February 19th
7:00am flight to Cambodia!

GO SINGAPORE!

2008-02-15T01:18:00.000-08:00

Last night was the season finale of the Amazing Race Asia and Collin my kickboxing teacher won!!!! He is the one on the left. It was a race to the end with Collin and Adrian coming from behind. It was FAN-TA-STIC but I just realized that he may quit his part-time gig as kickboxing/spinning instructor...now I'm sad.

Ok now on to other big news...this weekend is going to be a special one for 2 reasons:

1. There is a certain person by the name of Turkey that is celebrating her birthday. Happy Birthday Turkey. I hope the dogs and Mike dress up in special outfits for your big day. I am hoping that Gus sports the life preserver again! XOXO

2. Not only Kelly, not only Adam but Rita as well are all arriving in Singapore this weekend for our wonderful 10 day vacation. I AM SO EXCITED.

Hope you all have a great weekend.

Red, White and WHO???

2008-02-14T01:41:00.000-08:00

I am going to be really honest here….politics has never interested me. I should be ashamed to type that but it’s the truth and this blog is all about the truth even when it does make me look like an idiot. I think my interest peaked when Madonna, wrapped in the American flag, demanded that we vote, too bad I was like 15 then.

I do classify myself as a democrat, however, if there was a really trustworthy republican candidate I could be swayed (not sure how I would figure that out though b/c remember it does not interest me). I know that I hate George Bush and Rudy Giuliani and I know that Obama and Hillary are neck/neck (with HC slipping) but that is about it. Oh and I do know that Obama fell in JB’s rating when he brought Oprah onto the scene….but seriously this time….that is about it. I wish I cared more but I don’t and my lack of interest/knowledge was never really an issue at home as I could just sip my wine while my knowledgeable friends discussed the ins and outs and who stood for what.

Different story here! Why, Why did I have to move during an election year???? Seeing that I am one of very few Americans in my group of friends, they seem to see me as some sort of American politics expert (I can hear you giggling from here) always wanting to get the American perspective. When we were in Margaret River my friend Jim felt the need to check his blackberry every morning to give me update on the primaries…”hey Jenn Obama’s really pulling ahead” me: “Wow its really close” [what I was really thinking was can you go to perezhilton.com!!] I can usually get out of a deep discussion by taking a huge sip of wine, looking perplexed and saying..”I just don’t know, I am really torn, both candidates (convo usually revolves around Hillary/Obama) have a lot to offer” that usually works and someone else will jump in with their opinions leaving this American free to think about other things. There are times when this canned reply just doesn’t cut it though and I am left blabbering on and on hoping that the confidence with which I am blabbering fools them into believing that I know my stuff…so far so good! It is this type of situation that has me intently watching Wolf Blitzer on CNN each morning like a school kid just short of taking notes. Seriously it is a lot of pressure to keep this up!

Oh the bright side, my constant fear of being found out as the political knowledge fraud that I am has actually made me learn a thing or two.

Don’t forget to vote!

Jenni “proud to be an American” B

Gong Xi Fa Cai!

2008-02-13T00:52:00.001-08:00

Pronounced Gong See Fa Choy means Happy New Year in Chinese! I am actually saying it and quite comfortable with my pronunciation if I do say so myself! It is strange because I have always been conscious of just how long you wish someone a happy new year after new years day. I have always gone by my own rule that after January 31st all “happy new years” were off! I always hated those people who you would see in March and they would wish you a happy new year. [inside my head] True, I may not have seen you since January but the year is not new lets move on! So here I am breaking my own rule…February 13 and I am wishing people Gong Xi Fa Cai! I am justify the breaking of the rule by 1) saying it in a different language 2) Actually celebrating the Rat and not 2008. Whew! I feel better now.

Ok while on the subject of Chinese New Year, I’d like to share some pictures of the client event I planned to help celebrate the occasion.

Lions for Lion Dance

Drummers...cheerful bunch huh?? but boy were they loud!

Standing Lions

Me and my beloved Lo-Hei GOD I LOVE THAT STUFF

Action Lo-Hei

FINALLY...THE GIRL THAT CALLED ME A WHALE...BITCH

I'm in Love!

2008-02-11T02:40:00.000-08:00

With Margaret River..no seriously! Everything about MR was amazing, weather (hot and sunny during the day/cool at night), beaches, wine, food…all my favorite things in one place. My one complaint is that I wish we had more time to include some sporty activities into the itinerary. Needless to say, we drank our way through the vacation and I managed to spend and exorbitant amount of money on wine…there is really no need to purchase 15 bottles, drink 7 there, came home with 6 in my bag and am awaiting a case to be delivered within the next couple of days which includes a $70 bottle of dessert wine (really necessary???). It was hard not to get caught up in the whole experience. I will say that I have done wine tasting in Napa and Italy and this was my favorite experience.

So the trip went something like this. We arrived into Perth at 2:00am on Wednesday and drove the 3.5 hours to Prevalley where we had rented a house for the four days. The drive was a bit nerve racking as the roads were so dark and we were warned about rambunctious kangaroos hopping across the roads. We, thankfully, did not have a “run in” with any ‘roos however a very large bat met his demise on the windshield of our car. That was pretty gross and the “SPLAT” remained on our windshield for the rest of the weekend. We arrived at the house around 6:00am. We all headed to bed and woke ready to start exploring!

The house was cute and a 5 minute walk to the beach so we got our bathing suits on and headed down. The beach was beautiful and the ocean even more breathtaking. I am saying this right now…Australia has the most beautiful beaches I have ever been to. Everyone always raves about the beaches in Phuket…not even close!! We sat on the beach, watched (the huge) waves and surfers for the whole morning. It was great. By the time 1:00pm came around we were ready to get our wine on so we hopped in the car and headed to the first winery of the trip Cape Mentelle. * I won’t go into detail about the winerys but have outlined my favorite wines at the bottom of the entry.

That evening we went to the grocery store and had a BBQ for dinner. We sat on our terrace and watched the sunset. It was really beautiful. We sat, ate a wonderful meal and started drinking some of the wonderful wine we bought that day. Pure heaven. The night ended with heated games of poker, charades and 21. Good times.

Friday was all day wine tasting which began with a 10:00am tasting…sounds like trouble?? It was trouble! The vineyard was Moss Wood and this was probably the most exclusive one we visited. They had the most amazing Cabernets which they have not even bottled yet and let us taste out of the barrels! Another wonderful aspect of Moss Wood was their amazing wine museum where they kept all their inventory stock. Apparently wineries have to keep a certain number of stock from each vintage.

The day proceeded with more tasting, drunken singing to the 80’s in the car and the most fabulous lunch I have ever had at a winery called Vasse Felix (translated…Cat Piss). I don’t think I have ever had a meal this good. You could argue that it was the fact that I was a bit tipsy that made the meal so good but I don’t think so. It was amazing. The most innovative dishes I have ever had.

That evening we headed to the town of Prevalley for dinner followed by a couple of beers and pool at the local watering hole. This bar reminded me of the Jersey Shore meets, Fast Times at Ridgemont High, meets OTB. What do I mean by that?? Patrons were either 20 or 92 there was not much of a happy medium so we were defiantly in the minority. Group A) max 21 years old, really cute surfer girls and guys all tanned and blond and most, incredibly wasted…Group B) were all men well beyond their youth sporting weathered faces, pony tales and baseball hats..basically group A in 100 years. Pure comedy!

We headed back to the house and popped open one last bottle before bed which turned out to be many bottles and watching the sunrise. I knew that these people will be my friends for a very long time when during the conversation, “Name the song that you are most embarrassed to admit you like” (mine was the Macarena). John who is a FX trader, pretty tough British guy said that he loved the sound track from Les Miz!! I was shocked. His wife was like, yeah he really loves it. Sure enough it was on his ipod and we were singing all of our favorite tunes for the next hour.

Needless to say we were all pretty wrecked as we woke at 1pm but nothing could keep up away from one last day of tasting. We ended the day at a friend of mine from works winery, Green Valley. He encouraged us to pass by but warned that it was a very rustic place, not the atmosphere of most of the others. I was a bit nervous that his wine was going to be gross but it was wonderful and he won all these awards in Australia. It was such a special experience. He gave us the dirt on all the other wineries and gave us a tour of the whole vineyard, it was really special. We managed to take 3 cases off his hands and he said perhaps you can be my agent. Not a bad fall back option don’t ya think??? After the second great BBQ of the trip, we headed to the beach with some wine and watched the sunset one last time.

I would defiantly recommend this trip to anyone who is coming for a visit and not really interested in going for the real Asian experience.

I am not sure what the distribution is like in the U.S. but here were my favorites from the trip:

Moss Wood - Cabernet pricey but worth it.
Pierro – Blanc de Blanc. Great summer white wine
Green Valley – Riesling (not too sweet like reg. Riesling, Cabernet, Chardonnay)
Cape Mentelle – Chardonnay, Zinfandel, Marmaduke Red (wonderful wine and very cheap AUS$14/bottle)
Gralyn – White, port, pink port, Shiraz Port and Atrizan (the $70 dessert wine that tastes like caramel)

It was truly an amazing experience. Jim, the trip photograher, has some amazing pics that he is saving on a disk. I will share all once I receive.

Now only one more week until my next vacation!!!!!

Love Me

Vacation Reading

2008-02-05T19:15:00.000-08:00

As you know, I am heading off to Australia this evening for the Chinese New Year holiday. That being said, I will not be blogging for the next four days. I know you are in a bit of a panic wondering "how am I going to procrastinate at work?" "Who is going to entertain me with her self deprecating stories?" "Who is going to keep my finger on the pulse of Singapore?" Well rest assured dear readers, for a daily dose of humor, recipes, news and music to aid in the passing of those endless work hours, please visit any one of the blogs under Sites I Visit, located on the right hand side of this page. I visit each every morning and I have managed not to start working until around 10:00am each day (I'm a real go-getter!)

In addition to the ones mentioned on the right, here are some others that are part of my morning ritual:

www.alohalittlebuddy.blogspot.com (Cyndi is a bit stuck on posting pics but fun reading)
www.perezhilton.com
http://guestofaguest.com
http://www.celebritypuke.com
http://seriouslyomg.com
http://www.straitstimes.com
www.nytimes.com
www.facebook.com

Happy Reading!

Love XO JB

Honest? Blunt? Rude? Mean? Lack of tact? You make the call!

2008-02-04T19:14:00.000-08:00

One thing that I have yet to get used to, and not sure if I will, is the bluntness/rudeness/stupidity of some Singaporeans, especially women. Let me clarify that I am not saying all Singaporeans but there are many that just lack tact or a verbal filter when speaking to people.

Two stories come to mind as I try to illustrate my point here and they both involve my friend Rachel and they both happened to her on the same day. She was shopping and entered a local clothing store, where clothes are cheap and also made for women the size of a Barbie doll. Two steps into the store, the sales woman came up to her and immediately said, “Sorry no fat clothes here” Let me tell you that Rach is anything but fat! Not to be discouraged she ventured on to another local clothing store where, maybe having a bit more “tact” the sales woman said “Western woman are usually quite huge…but you’re not that bad”. Can you find the compliment in that statement??

As you know from previous posts, I myself have been on the receiving end of the Singaporean “honesty” but last night may have been the worst yet! This I would classify as pure meanness but you can make the call. I had an event last night and I (mistakenly) asked two assistants to help me with set-up/registration. I have met these two before and have gotten along quite well with them in the past but together they were my enemy. Not sure how I offended these two. So here’s how it went down:

Assistant 1: So Jenn are you going away for Chinese New Year?
Me: Yes, I am so excited I am going to Australia.
Ass 1: Sydney or Melbourne?
Me: I am going to Perth, Margaret River for some winery tours and beach
Ass 1: Are you bringing a bikini?
Me: Yup but if I keep eating the lo-hei I may not fit into my bathing suit (hahaha) [hands on stomach pretending my stomach is expanding]
Ass 1: Don’t worry there are tons of whales in Australia!

Ok are you kidding me right now?? This bitch did not just say that!!! This was complete meanness under the guise of trying to be funny!! Who says that???

Bitches! Ugg it gets me mad just writing it. And people call New Yorkers rude?

I am off to the gym!

Yu-Sheng Lo-hei

2008-02-01T00:45:00.000-08:00

Today was a local co-worker lunch day and I got to experience a traditional Yu-Sheng Lo-hei. Yu-Sheng Lo-hei or (Lo-hei for short) is a Chinese New Year tradition that can be enjoyed any time and as many times during the 15 days of Chinese New Year. The purpose of the Lo-hei is to wish friends and family a very prosperous new year. The girls said I would love it as it is like a big tossed salad so I was in!

So we get to the restaurant….oh wait let me tell you about the restaurant. It was like an obstacle course to get to! We were in and out of buildings, up and down elevators, and finally arrived at the restaurant which was naturally located on the roof of a building in the middle of a parking garage. I told my co-workers please don’t leave me here I will never find my way back! Ok so we arrived and on a big lazy susan in the middle of the table was a huge dish containing raw fish (salmon), carrots, shredded jelly fish, crushed peanuts, ginger, radish, fried wonton crisps, some seasoning and two dishes of sauce. The server proceeded to do some seasoning of the fish and poured the oils over the ingredients all while uttering some blessing in Chinese. Once this ceremony was over, we all stood, grabbed our chopsticks and started to toss the ingredients while wishing each other a prosperous new year, more $$ in 2008, a baby for Rachel, boys for me and Wendy, good luck in her new job for Shareen, blah, blah..and apparently the higher you toss the more prosperous you will be!! It was really fun.

Now the thing that makes this even more special is that all the ingredients have a special meaning:

Step 1: Fish slices symbolize abundance or excess through the year (Nian-Nian you-yu)

Step 2: Pomelo for both luck and auspicious value (Da-ji-da-li)

Step 3: Pepper is then dashed over the ingredients in the hope of attracting more money and valuables (Zhao cai jin bao)

Step 4: Then oil is poured out, circling the ingredients to increase all profits 10,000 times and encouraging money to flow in from all directions (Yi ben wan li & Cai yuan guang jin).

Step 5: Carrots are added to the fish indicating blessings of good luck. (Hong yun dang tou)

Step 6: Then the shredded green radish is placed on the fish symbolizing eternal youth. (Qing chun chang zhu).

Step 7: After which the shredded white radish is added - prosperity in business and promotion at work. (Feng sheng shui qi and Bu bu gao sheng).

Step 8: Peanut crumbs are then dusted on the dish symbolizing a household filled with gold and silver. As an icon of longevity, peanuts also symbolize eternal youth.(Jin yin man wu).

Step 9: Sesame seeds quickly follow symbolizing a flourishing business. (Sheng yi xing long).

Step 10: Deep-fried flour crisps in the shape of golden pillows is then added with wishes that literally the whole floor would be filled with gold. (Pian di huang jin).

So are you wondering how is tasted???? Well it may be my new favorite thing. The mixture of all the ingredients, oils and seasoning is just amazing! They sell Lo-hei kits in the supermarket and I may have to buy one, toss and wish myself prosperity at home!!!

Have a great weekend.

Chinese Double (Part 2)

2008-01-30T01:07:00.000-08:00

Is is uncanny how similar very old chinese men look like the following:

It freaks me out. Adam, Kelly & Rita, you will be able to see for yourself. They are all over the hawker centers.

BALLS

2008-01-28T19:17:00.001-08:00

It's official, Australians know how to party a lot better than the Scotts. The 2008 Australian Ball was a mess. Seriously it was like the prom. I think having a better time had a lot to do with the fact that I was actually with my friends and knew a lot more people. We had 4 tables all together and Rachel, Katherine and I were clearly at the singles table…along with Hottie McHottie (reference to pictures from the rave). I was very surprised, HMH actually looks better casually dressed and his shoes were awful. They were super pointy and seriously, I think they were made of some sort of animal skin a la Crocodile Dundee (how appropriate) but he is really nice and loves to dance so fun was had by all.

So as the night progressed, I realized that I had lost the key to my apartment. I honestly have no idea how this could have happened since everything else was in my bag... This was not another Police Athletic League moment where the keys were actually in my bag the whole time!! Seriously it is a huge mystery! Luckily my discovery happened at the very end of the night as this totally put me over the edge. It would be ok if the key was an actual key, however it is an access card that I have to order from Tokyo and it is just one big mess. Rachel, calmed me down and poured us both into a cab to head back to our complex where she managed to convince me to stay over.

I woke up the next morning, ½ naked with no idea where I was or how I got there. Once I got myself together, I decided that the best thing to do would be to get my gown back on, go to security and ask them to let me in my apartment (they have to have a master key right??). So there I was, 10:00am on a Sunday, full formal wear (jewelry and all) and dragged myself to security to explain the situation. They seemed to understand and we started walking to my apt. I should have been tipped off that things were not going to be easy by the following convo:

Security: Someone waiting for you upstairs?
Me: no
Security: Your husband upstairs
Me: No, no husband and I live on the ground floor
Security: Smile (which means I don’t understand)
We get to my apartment
Security: Oh no miss, I thought you wanted to go up in the elevator. I don’t have a key for your apartment.
Me: UGGGGGG. Well what am I supposed to do?? Do you have a locksmith’s number?
Security: Yeah but will be very expensive for a Sunday.
Inside my Head: I DON”t CARE I AM IN A GOWN IT IS F’ING 100 DEGREES OUT AND I AM BASICALLY A RAISIN I AM SO DEHYDRATED

I managed to get the number, called and was assured that he would be to me in 30 minutes. Ok that was not too bad so I sat on my doorstep and began the long, hot, wait for help. I decided to pass the time by looking at the pictures from the previous night…here is where the title of this post takes on a whole new meaning.. so I turned on the camera expecting a smiling JenniB to look my way when I come across something that I couldn’t quite figure out what it was. Honestly I thought it was a mushroom until two minutes later I realize some loser took my camera while it was unattended and took a picture of his BALLS! I was totally disgusted but managed to laugh that I actually thought it was a mushroom (it was the angle).

So the story ends like this, after 30 minutes of waiting for the locksmith, he arrived with a security guard followed by the gas man who was coming to deliver gas for my stove. So picture it, me (remember full formal wear) with 3 Singaporean men (who all barley spoke English) outside my door as all the families and respectable people were headed to the pool for their day of fun.

I have lost my dignity once again.

Speechless

2008-01-25T01:53:00.000-08:00

I am without speech. For once I really don't have anything to say...I always have something to say! I am just a bit drained from the week and ready to get the weekend started. Isn't Friday the best day ever??

This weekend will prove to be a good one. I am going to the Australian Ball tomorrow night. Yup, much like the Scottish ball it is supposed to be a proper, posh event where I managed to drink my weight in champagne. Should be a good one...lets just hope I don't get loaded and find myself amusing by constantly saying "Put another Shrimp on the barbie! I think I am out of that phase since Woz left our life but you know me...immaure and love to beat a "joke" into the ground.

I hope you all have a great weekend!

Love JB

Durable Pants

2008-01-22T17:30:00.000-08:00

Those two words may mean nothing to you and really on their own nothing to me but put them together and they remind me of a very special person in my life…..Michelle F (well now R)! Yes it was the one and only Michelle that phoned me one day circa 1996 to tell me she had just purchased a pair of durable pants for her waitressing job at some TGIF-like restaurant at the mall. Durable pants?? Who really says that?? I had to admire her turning a blind eye to fashion and opting for practicality (yes, we really are best friends!). Worst of all they turned out to be not as durable as she thought since I am pretty sure they split during one of her shifts.

Chances are Michelle does not even remember this story as she has the WORST memory ever! I envision us sitting on a bench somewhere well into our 80’s, me reminiscing about all our good times and travel adventures only for her to turn to me, stare blankly and ask…who are you?? Why are you talking to me??

Ok I know you are wondering why I am thinking about this silly story and why I chose to share with you now?? Well, today (Jan 23 since not sure when you will read) is my very best friend’s birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MISH! She is one of few people I know that can make you laugh without even really doing anything (this is almost always unintentional). I wish I was there to celebrate with you in SD! I love you dearly and hope you have an awesome day!

So please join me in wishing Michelle a very special day filled wine, laughter, friends and perhaps some durables!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO (a thousand times)

BOSS??

2008-01-15T23:27:00.000-08:00

Here's something annoying….my boss calls his boss “Boss” …don’t you think that it weird?? I mean he calls him boss (not in the hip street way) all the time!! He is actually in his office right now talking to someone and this sentence just came out of his mouth… “I will check with boss on that!” “Not sure if boss will go with that approach” and earlier in the day I was in his office and he called “bosses” office and asked his assistant “is boss in” I mean c’mon a grown man calling the President of the region boss???

Of course since I am distracted by my own thoughts very easily, every time I hear him say boss the image of Boss Hogg from Dukes of Hazard pops into my mind which then makes me laugh when thoughts drift to Turkey's brother in-law at her wedding….oh the vicious circle!

Later Boss! (said in the hip street way….did I really just type that…TWICE???)

I'm Going to Hell!

2008-01-14T00:59:00.000-08:00

What is wrong with me that the following, posted on PerezHilton.com, literally made me laugh out loud:

Danielynn's Medical Condition

Yup, she's cross-eyed!

And Larry is torn up about how to treat Dannielyn's condition.

To have surgery or not to have surgery?

At least I know, most of you will be in Hell with me.

Hell Yeah I'm Single!

2008-01-10T22:35:00.000-08:00

So Chinese New Year is right around the corner (first week in February) and I have been excited to celebrate for quite sometime. Why you ask??? Well, the implementation of my new year resolutions have been postponed over a month (for those curious it is to party less and to perfect my swimming skills), I get a 4 day weekend (in Australia) and who would not be excited about the year of the rat….but my excitement has reached a whole new level after learning what I did yesterday!

I returned to my desk after lunch to find 6 packs of little red envelopes on my
desk. I knew these were part of a Chinese New Year tradition where you put money in the envelopes and distribute to friends and family to wish them a happy and prosperous new year, at least I thought that was the whole story but I was a bit off. Turns out that I, JenniB, do not have to fill these envelopes with my hard earned cash…why???…BECAUSE I AM SINGLE!! That’s right, finally I the singleton have the last laugh to all those manicurists and yoga sales people who look at me with such pity. You see, the rule is married people have to give money to the single people!!!! OH YEAH! Ok maybe this is just another form of pity but who cares…this is the kind of pity I can handle. I would like to think that it is because we, the singles, have to spend the money to dress-up, drag ourselves out night after night and drink ourselves silly all in the hopes of getting some action! Seeing that this is an age old tradition I am most likely way off but whatever! Bring on the dough!

Another interesting fact I learned, is that you never put $4 or any amount containing the number 4 in the packet as this is BAD LUCK. The word for the number 4 in Cantonese sounds very much like the word for death so you never make this mistake. Oh dear watch someone give me $4 thinking I don’t know what that means, could you imagine??

Jenni “proud to be single” B

Mark Your Calendars

2008-01-09T21:39:00.000-08:00

Hey there. Things have been crazy hence the no blogging but I just had to post about this….Mark Your Calendars! Hold The Date!…oh wait you don’t live here…well mark your calendars that on January 16 as you are making your way to work (8:00am NY time) you can be sure that I will be parked in front of my TV, fists clenched and in the fighters stance for the premier of THE CONTENDER ASIA. OH YEAH! Most of you know how much I love that show. The Asia version is a little different as its Muay Thai boxing instead of “normal” boxing. Not sure how this style works but the boxers are barefoot and there is kicking involved. Shirtless, sweaty men…not a bad way to spend a Wednesday night!

Lets get ready to rumble!

Side note: I ripped by dress at work today and had to wear a towel around my shoulders until I could go home and change at lunch….I’m still a total loser!

Under Pressure....

2008-01-03T00:19:00.000-08:00

I have literally logged-in and out numerous times trying to put together the perfect post-holiday entry, ya know..the perfect balance of fun, sentiment and stupidity but I just can’t do it. All these days not blogging has taken a toll on my creative juices! So I have included a brief holiday photo montage for your enjoyment [cue appropriate montage music here].

CD's Party...the Bank would be proud

Can't forget the male celebrity guests (and Jackie)

Pre-Christmas Football...

Christmas Eve

Dinner with Cali Crew...

New Years Eve

Sorry Turkey...couldn't resist you in your cut throat Pollyanna shirt

The Farewell/Thanksgiving in January Dinner

Ode to Aunt Jenn kid's table where they ate "Asian style". Chris did join the adults!

In closing... I would like to wish all of you a WONDERFUL New Year! Never met a group of people that deserve it more.

Oh and one more tidbit to live by in the new year….
ESP………………E= Energy/S=Smile/P= Personality....you can learn a lot by watching the Golden Girls (that was for you Mel!)

It's Beginning...

2007-12-21T07:42:00.000-08:00

to look and feel alot like Christmas...finally! I have arrived safe and sound in NYC and it is WONDERFUL to be home. So great to see many of you last night and looking forward to many more reunions over the next two weeks. I am sitting at Mels still in my PJs, gazing out on the gray sky and literally doing a snow dance. This is how the holiday season is meant to be!

XOXO

Gift Idea

2007-12-11T22:29:00.000-08:00

Are you stumped when it comes to buying a holiday gift for the Mandu, Don (not the real one), Kiki, Mame, Gizmo or Socks in your life?? Well look no further, I have the perfect gift for even the most hard to please feline: Kitty Wig!

Available is 4 fashionable colors and styles, I am sold on the “bashful blond” option (pictured) after reading the sales pitch:

Blonde is a magical mix of bashful and brazen. Fern shows off the many moods of a natural blonde: sweet yet catty, smart yet batty -- where life is alluring and coy. Now all she needs is a bikini and a Swedish accent. Blonde sets off your kitty’s eyes and makes your kitty look tan.

Do you think it makes Fern look tan?? Pure comedy!

Check out the website for yourself. kittywigs

One final thought, a big PO-PO-ZOW Happy Birthday to KDUB!
Happy Birthday girl. Thank god your “head is bigger than a walnut" (quote: Carolyn Sortor, Kitty Wigs.com) or you would be getting one of these wigs from me!!! We’ll celebrate in NYC!

24 Little Hours.....

2007-12-10T22:10:00.000-08:00

What a difference a day makes…I feel like a new person. The needles in the stomach are but a distant memory and I feel fresh and rejuvenated! It really do find it amazing how one can feel so different from one day to the other.

There is another reason why this post is titled “24 Little Hours” other than to brag about my new lease on life….I received a call this morning from one of the very, very pleasant agents at Singapore Airlines (again can I tell you how much I love them) informing me of 1) my waitlist had cleared and I am now on the flight arriving on DECEMBER 17! Strange thing is I never put myself on the waitlist I called last week to see if any seats opened up on that flight and THEY PUT ME ON THE WAITLIST and I have an aisle seat!!!!…24 little hours prior to my original plan…24 more hours back in the States! Now if that wasn’t good enough…2) I had been upgraded to business class for my flight back to Singapore on January 1!!!! I am still in executive economy on the 17 but they advised me that they will try their best to accommodate another upgrade….are these people for real??? I mean seriously do they not know they are an airline!!!! I, once again, profess my love to Singapore Airlines!

So this time next week…I will be in my winter clothes really getting into the Christmas spirit (I am sorry a Chinese Santa just doesn’t do it for me).

I wonder what the next 24 hours will bring!!

6 days and counting…

Monday's Suck!

2007-12-10T00:20:00.000-08:00

Hello. If there is one thing I hate its Monday’s and this one may be one of the worst. It all started about 7:30 pm last night when I got home from lunch and games at a friend’s apartment. There were about 10 of us and we ate, drank and played some games for about 7 hours, needless to say all of us were a bit tipsy as we headed home. As soon as I got home, I grabbed my pillow and blanket and settled on the couch for some Amazing Race Asia. My bodypump teacher is one of the contestants so it makes watching so much more fun. So I was all settled in and immediately fell asleep (passed out). I woke up at 11:30pm all discombobulated. I oriented myself and headed to bed where I spent the next 8 hours tossing and turning UGG! It is one thing to be tired but I have the worst stomach ache…its like someone is sticking needles in my stomach and I may puke at any moment…lovely I know! So I am sitting here just counting down the minutes until I get to leave this place

So the weekend was a good one. After a really horrible week at work, I had holiday dinner on Friday night with my co-workers which was really nice. The evening ended early and I was happy to be on my couch (god I love my couch) in front of the TV at 10:30pm. I was fast asleep at midnight only to be woken up at 2:00am by “Scotty” drunk dialing. I must extend my sincere apologies to those on the receiving end of MY drunken calls….GOD DRUNK DIALING IS ANNOYING! I am making a concerted effort to stop partaking in such activities.

Saturday I actually got some Christmas shopping done only to realize that I have to get all this crap home so the rest of the shopping will be done in NYC. Saturday night was our company Christmas party followed by ZoukOut which I mentioned in a previous post was the rave at the beach.

Ok I just had another wave of “I may just puke on myself” so I am going to stop writing and just include some pics of the weekend.

Me and my co-workers, Wendy and Rachel

Me, Helen, Jaime, Katherine at holiday party
Me & Tessa aka Chinese Molly Ringwald (pic does not do the resembalance justice)

Katherine and Louise at ZoukOut

Hang 10 at the rave...

Me and the Boys (left to right: peter, Darian (is he not the hottest thing) and Ben). I look naked!

Talk to you tomorrow...Pukey McPukester

Rock Star

2007-12-06T02:49:00.000-08:00

Sorry I have not been posting but work has been nuts.

I have tried to do a recap of last weekend for like 5 minutes now and it’s just no fun when I am one day away from the next one so…ball was great and knocked 3 minutes 8 seconds off my last 10K time so all and all a good one.

So wanted to share some random thought I have on a regular basis. I am not an artistically inclined person, I can barely draw a stick figure, singing…forget about it, acting..too self-conscience, playing a musical instrument...other than my brief dalliance with the clarinet (Jenni “Benny Goodman” B) and my mastering of “Heart and Soul” on the piano I have no talent here either but have always dreamed of being a rock star, so today I give you my “band” and identified one song that I would like to play on every instrument:

Saxophone: Rosalita, Bruce Springsteen
Trumpet: Smile, Lily Allen
Bass Guitar: Primary, The Cure
Electric Guitar: Crazy Train, Ozzy Osbourne
Drums: Wild Side, Motley Crue
Piano: November Rain, Guns & Roses
Violin/Fiddle: Cotton Eye Joe
Tambourine: If You Love Someone Set Them Free, Sting

I could really be a one man band (in my dreams)

Rock on!

Belated Post

2007-12-02T17:56:00.000-08:00

Due to technical difficulties this post did not go up on Friday so here it is today. I will recap for tomorrow's post.

I just have too many thoughts in my head and too little time to write a nice entry so I am just going to babble.

Ok to add on to yesterday’s entry about living here being just like college. Below is another Christmas celebration email I received today:

With the silly season almost upon us, some of Munster's elite (who shall remain nameless!) thought it suitable to mark the festive season with some festive cheer!
While a decadent black tie evening of mulled wine and canapés was discussed, it was outvoted in place of the inaugural….

12 Pubs of Christmas!

Not much is being given away (but I'm sure you get the gist!!)
However it's suffice to say….
- It starts in Muddy Murphy's on Orchard Road at 1.45pm on Saturday December 8th and
- The final stop is Zoukout in Siloso Beach

Let me tell you that Zoukout is a rave that is happening on the beach 8pm – 8am! I feel like I am living on an island version of Animal House. Now I know how T-Bone feels.

So now to tell you about tonight’s plans…complete opposite of this fiasco waiting to happen….tonight I am headed to the St. Andrews Ball. This apparently is a very posh event including a 5 course meal and wine. I had my cocktail dress all ready until a get an email from my date today that a ball gown is the suggested attire for the ladies…UMMM Hello a little more notice would have been helpful. So now I have to drag myself home, find one of the 2 long dresses I own and hope that there is not wine spilled all over them. Chances are quite good that they will in fact be “enhanced” with loads of red wine. This evening will mark yet another first for me in that my date will be wearing a skirt, a kilt to be precise and I have confirmed that they DO NOT wear anything underneath. I hope he doesn’t pull a Britney Spears or as Jeff said attempt any breakdancing!

Tomorrow is a late lunch, some rearranging of the NYC furniture in the Singapore apt…yes its here!! And an early to bed night since I am running another 10K on Sunday (what in god’s name am I thinking????)

Alright I have to bounce!

Have a great weekend!

Cut Throat Pollyanna

2007-11-28T21:08:00.000-08:00

It is amazing how time flies and that Christmas is right around the corner. I have not felt this type of excitement since....well I don’t remember. The whole experience this year is really pretty different and cool.

Starting next week, the holiday/goodbye parties begin. Yes, goodbye parties! It is time to celebrate and say a short goodbye to the new “family” I have acquired over the last 6 months and no offense New York but I am a bit emotional about the whole thing. Friends have equated this experience to the freshman year at college when you say goodbye to all of your new friends and return home a slightly different person, more worldly, more mature, with new catch phrases and in my case perhaps a little bit of an accent (its unintentional I swear!). It’s a strange thought to envision all of my new friends boarding planes to Ireland, Australia, London, South Africa, New Zealand….to get back to their “real lives” Yes, real lives…it all seems fake and surreal here in a good and slightly unnerving way.

So as I mentioned the parties start next week and despite our different places of origin some games just seem to work in every culture. Here is an excerpt from a Christmas dinner email I received today:

Gifts should go something like this: Everyone brings a wrapped gift worth SGD15 Upon arrival everyone picks a number out of a hat The highest number (call it 12 for now) unwraps whatever present they like in the pile. #11 can either steal the present that #12 just opened or pick another wrapped present. This goes on until #1 can choose any present in the room or take the last remaining wrapped present.

Brooklyn/Philly New Years Eve crowd… say it together CUT-THROAT POLLYANNA!!!!! I highly doubt this evening’s version will be anything compared to our very spirited games over the last…what is it…8 years!!! So much fun and laughs have resulted from CTP that I would like to highlight some for your enjoyment:

1 . The decorative (empty) M&M tin.
2. Kook’s thong which he proceeded to wear for the rest of the night
3. The stink bomb that was left in my apt (Kelly!)
4. Rita’s porn which Fallone seem to get at the PJ party circa 2001
5. The guy with the gold coins and the vest from Prudential…he wasn’t a gift but he sure was funny! Turkey..didn’t you extend the invite in the copy room?
6. The underwear that Ivy and I almost had a fist fight over
7. Was the "momma's special girl pic taken during CTP?"
9. AND MY ALL TIME FAVORITE…Mr. Potato Head!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He better be at the party this year wearing his tux sans pants!

Can’t wait to ring in 2008. Ok not sad anymore cant wait to see you guys!

XOXOXXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Facebook

2007-11-27T02:06:00.000-08:00

I never thought I would say this but I am obsessed with Facebook! As some of you know, I am not one to "hangout" on the computer. I get to work, check my email, linger on select blogs and check celebrity gossip but that is the end of it...ok so maybe I hangout a little bit but Facebook has brought me to a new level.

So I am asking you to support my habit and join www.facebook.com. Good times!

Love,

[sorry already at facebook]

Shanghai Thanksgiving

2007-11-22T21:23:00.001-08:00

Hello. Its Thanksgiving (well here anyway) and I wanted to wish you all a very happy day filled with turkey, stuffing, pies and many, many glasses of wine.

A VERY SPECIAL Happy Birthday wish to Kelly! Happy Birthday girl! I know you will not disappoint my many, many glasses of wine wish!

Its about 4am Thanksgiving eve for your NYer’s and I have a feeling that my mom is still up cooking and Mel most likely just went to bed, both preparing their Thanksgiving feasts. I am missing you guys! Do me a favor and give the people you are spending this day with a huge hug and kiss.

Ok so before I launch into my Shanghai trip. I am sticking with the family tradition of saying a few things that I am thankful for this year:

Wonderful friends and family. God its so amazing to wake up and know that I have all of you in my life (cheesy I know) but I really can’t explain it. Both here and there….I AM A LUCKY,
1. LUCKY person.
2. This amazing opportunity I am experiencing
3. That I didn’t die scuba diving
4. Singapore Airlines
5. This Blog (thanks Jeff).

Ok on to the trip. Shanghai is my new favorite Asian city. What a great place. Unlike Hong Kong and Singapore, where you can feel that you are just in the Chinatown section of any American city, Shanghai feels like Asia. Not one of my cab drivers spoke English so it was an adventure every trip I took. Can’t really put it into words but there was such a vibe and energy to just being there. And the buildings and different neighborhoods are really unique. I didn’t get to explore as much as I wanted to but on my next trip which I will make sure is soon.

I was staying at the Grand Hyatt which I came to find out is in, what was once, the tallest building in the world. The lobby of the hotel is on the 54th floor of the building! My room was on the 74th floor. This struck me as very odd…don’t you think?? That being said the view was AMAZING! My one complaint was the room was so “wired” and technically advanced that it literally took me ½ hour to turn the lights off before going to bed. Imagine my annoyance and grumbling at 1:30am my first night! I was literally saying out loud “I HATE TECHNOLOGY” .

So I had another “first” during this trip. I conducted my first meeting with someone who did not speak English. I had to bring an assistant with me to translate. It was strange and I am not entirely sure they were not talking about me behind…well I guess in front…of my face. I felt like I should have had those United Nations earphones on! It was funny but by the end of the 2 hour meeting..I felt like I could understand and was actually answering in English before Vivi translated. He was using his hands a lot so I guess that helped. It was pretty cool though.

Ok I just realized that this entry is pretty long already and I may be losing some of you so I will wrap it up (sorry I am on the plane so could type for hours). So here are some highlights from my favorite business trip so far:

* Lost in translation: Out to lunch with one of the girls from the office who speaks English well but this went totally wrong: [she was complaining about her workload] Me: The day must fly by! Her: Nope I really don’t travel for my job. I guess the word fly threw her.

* At the dinner I was looking for my first speaker who is Chinese. I was looking and looking and realized he was right in front of me Me: oh wow there you are: Him: Its hard to spot me in a room full of Chinese people huh? NOT AGAIN (remember the pantry scene). I was like haha..no, no!! Do I have “I think all Asian people look alike stamped on my forehead??

* At the restaurant, I went to the bathroom and there was a funny, stale water smell so I asked Vivi to ask the manager in Chinese for a candle or air freshener. She was looking at me really strange, turned red and started to giggle….I then realized that she thought I took a big #2 and need to cover the smell! Now I was the one turning red and giggling!! I was like oh no, no, not me!!!!

* I ate jellyfish for the first time and loved it and spotted turtle ovary on a menu!!! Come to think of it that could be just like a whole bunch of cavier!! Humm…could be tasty!

Alright I will stop now!

Love you lots.

Go Shorty!

2007-11-18T21:19:00.000-08:00

From the moment I first sat my fat ass in his chair..my Singapore hairstylist has been asking me to cut my hair short a la Posh Spice well kids I finally gave in. JenniB is once again rockin’ some short hair. I was a bit nervous but am happy that I decided to do it! So far everyone (to my face) has commented on how much they like it but you all can be the judge when I return for Christmas.

So hope you all had a nice weekend. Mine was great but as always way too short. I am headed to Shanghai for some business this afternoon. I am really excited!! I have heard great things from everyone who has been and just take a look at the skyline…how could it not be cool! Speaking of cool…its 55 degrees there now so I am actually going to be able to wear sweaters and a coat…it’s the little things in life that get me excited! I am organizing a dinner/wine tasting on Wednesday night. I had to seek the advice from a collegue in the Shanghai office since I didn’t recognize ½ the things on the menu so I am certainly in for some new culinary experiences.

Hope you are all gearing up for turkey day!!

LOVE JB

Story Look Familiar????

2007-11-15T17:37:00.000-08:00

The following was posted on Perez Hilton.com today! Look familiar? Is Perez a Stupid Ho Fan or has Adam from Reuters scooped (no pun intended) me???

We see a trend here!
According to Reuters:
“Ice-cream shaped like faeces is ready to be served at the Modern Toilet diner in the Shilin district in Taipei November 9, 2007. All 100 seats in the crowded diner are made from toilet bowls, not chairs. Sink faucets and gender-coded “WC” signs appear throughout the three-storey facility, one of 12 in an island-wide chain of eateries with a toilet theme.”
Eat up!

Happy Weekend!

The Package

2007-11-12T19:35:00.000-08:00

The longer I am here, the more little things seem to get on my nerves. One thing that has really started to bug me is that there is a package for every service you can image, nails, waxing, salad bars, coffee..everything! By package I mean like you pay $500 up front for a let’s say…manicures. I don’t know what I am doing tomorrow much less if I’ll even be around for $500 worth of manicures so why would I pay up front!! The mere existence of these packages is really not what bothers me but the fact that they are pushed on you everywhere…”You got Package?” “You want package?” “Package good!” to which I vehemently respond “no…no thanks no package!” and then they roll their eyes and ring up my order. I have considered making a shirt with the words NO PACKAGE written across but thought that may look like I am a recent transsexual (get it..no package heheh).

Ok so I think you got the idea that I am not a regular package purchaser but I had decided to break my own rule and purchase a 20 class package at the new yoga studio near work since the yoga classes offered at my gym stink. So I sit down with the sales lady and the following ensues:

Me: Hi, I would like to buy a 20 class package please
Saleslady: You want 3 month package…sign here
Me: No, I don’t want 3 month package, just the 20 classes
Saleslady: 3 month better for you.
Me: No, not really since I travel quite a bit and I am heading back to NY for the holidays so I would be wasting a couple weeks of the 3 month package. Plus I belong to another gym so will only be here once a week. (why am I justifying myself to this lady?).
Saleslady: You can suspend the 3 month membership when you go away for $42
Me: (now I am starting to lose it a little bit) why would I want to pay an additional $42 when all I want is the 20 classes?????
Saleslady: It work better for you.
Me: (voice raised) no really it doesn’t! I then outline on a piece of paper the benefits of me just doing the 20 class package
Saleslady: Ok you get the 20 classes. Can I have your work permit and your credit card?
Me: here you go. I couldn’t believe how hard that was!!
Saleslady: Oh! we have the same birthday!….but I am so much younger than you. I am only 25.
Me: OH NO SHE DIDN’T!! “oh….that’s nice 25’s a good age (good one Jenn…good come back)
Saleslady: How long have you been here?
Me: (now my patience is totally gone) 5 months!
Saleslady: (not so discreetly) looks at my finger…are you here with someone?
Me: Nope I am here by myself.
Saleslady: (Look of totally pity on her face) “Oh I am so sorry”
Me: Of all the clever things I have thought to say in response to this and the age incident after I left this is what I came up with “I have lots of friends!” Who says that??

After signing for the 20 class package I collected my “free” water bottle and stormed off leaving all the positive energy I had from my yoga class behind!

Serenity Now!