The American Tourist (TAT)

So I recently returned from a fab-u-lous trip Europe – South of France and Italian Rivera to be exact and it was really awesome.

The trip started in a little French village whose main attraction is Mount Ventoux. For those of you (I didn’t) who do not know, this is the last climbing stage of this year’s Tour de France…and you guessed it Action Jackson Harvey had the two of us riding up the damn thing…ladies and gentleman..by far the hardest thing I have ever done EVER. I didn’t make it to the top as I basically cried, had a heart attack and crapped my pant during the 16 k I did finish!! Luckily for me at 16k there was a bar/restaurant where I managed to get all hopped up on energy drinks waiting for Phil to finish and the ride down…by far the scariest thing I have ever done!!! All was forgiven/forgotten when we finally arrived back at the village and I consumed 2 pints of beer and an enormous Panini!

The second leg of the trip took us to another little French village to attend a wedding. We stayed in a converted farmhouse located in the middle of a vineyard – can someone say unlimited supply of rose? The wedding was beautiful blah, blah – good times!

Ok from there we went to Monaco, Portofino, Santa Marghertia (Italy), Cinque Terre and Lake Como and here is the reason for this post.

Cinque Terre is actually 5 little villages connected by train or you can hike to each. The hiking was great, views spectacular, water an amazing blue but there was something that was not settling too well with me…what could it be??? Then the voices ring in my head “Y’all want a glass of vino” THE American tourist (TAT). Let me stop and say I am love being American so no I have not moved away and think I am all cool and stuff but there is something really annoying about THE American tourist (PS none of my friends and family would fit into the category of the American tourist). Call it - loud, annoying, arrogant, not trying to fit in to the surrounding cultures!! You just seem to able to pick the TAT out.. maybe it’s just because I am American and I feel a certain embarrassment by said behavior but it really got on my nerves..

Ok so all that being said…take a look at me on vacation….



Yankees cap, hiking boots, red fleece, blue shirt..damn if my shorts were blue I’d be the American flag….

Jenni “TAT” B

Did you know...

That if you put all the streets in New York in a straight line, they would stretch to Japan??? Well its true.

Thanks Snapple!

Cougarville

So as most of you know Monday was my birthday and this was a big one…. I turned 35 and this has me teetering dangerously on the brink of cougarville.

If you see me looking anything like the above and dating anyone that looks like the above please stage an intervention as soon as possible!!!

Jenni “Linda Hogan may soon be my idol” B

Total Eclipse of the Heart

Hello all! So today was the longest solar eclipse of the 21st century here in Asia -pretty cool huh?? Actually not really. The weather is pretty bad so you couldn't really get the full effect as the clouds were covering the sun and it has been dark all day. I wish it was the usual cloudless Singapore sky - now that would have been pretty cool.

I did have a giggle this morning as a very nervous, very new Asian reporter (woman) with a lisp was sent to cover the story for CNN. She was stationed in Shanghai amongst a group of nerdy eclipse chasers (who knew they existed???) and unfortunately the weather was not cooperating in Shanghai either. Well they kept going to her for updates and there was really nothing to see. Then the clouds started to move and the sun appeared as she was speaking and you hear "oooooo" from the eclipse chasers. She quickly put on her eclipse glasses (picture 3-d glasses) to take a look and the clouds moved in again. She took off the glasses a bit dejected and started to speak again and two minutes later "ooooooo" she put her glasses back on and sure enough clouds moved in again. Well this pattern went over about 5 more times leaving the anchor even more nervous and lispy.

Boy did it make me laugh!!

[no title]

ok so after 9 months of uncertainty I officially know I have a job and what exactly I will be doing so needless to say I am one happy girl. This is the result of a week long trip with my two new bosses (ummm stressful!) and all went very well! I happened to avoid any Bridget Jones' moments - whew!!

So with that out of the way I feel that my writters block may be gone and back to blogging. You see I am actually doing this at work now when I should be thrilled to have a job and working - sooo typical!

During one of the dinners on the trip this America guy was talking about a very successful couple he knew and referred to them at D.I.N.K's (double income no kids) Jeez I had not heard that one in a while which led me to think about my achroynm S.I.N.K (single income no kids) hummm....SINK - not too promising huh??

Love me.

Bad Boys..Bad Boys..Whatcha Gonna Do..

Most of you have seen the pictures on Facebook but if you haven’t (Mel) here are some for your perusal! Needless to say the weekend was pretty wild. It all began at 7:30 am breakfast in the hotel restaurant dressed in our cop uniforms, I was thinking we should have went to a coffee and donut place so we could really get into character but oh well. We arrived at our friend’s Jarad’s apartment so the boys could get into costume and I realize I didn’t have my tickets so I hopped in a cab and sped off back to the hotel, think the uniform came in handy here as the driver was properly speeding.

Finally I reached the stadium and it was time to start the day….with a liter of bloody mary…1 LITER! Believe me I paid for that one the rest of the weekend...the first time I peed (sober) I thought someone opened a jar of tomato sauce in the bathroom..gross I know but I had to give you the visual!

The day ended at about 9:30pm when we got back to the hotel…at midnight I realized I had only eaten one meal (forget the millions of calories of booze consumed) that day so insisted we go on the hunt for food.. picture it me in my running gear (sans bra) walking the streets of Hong Kong searching for nourishment..we finally found our beacon in the night..yes you guessed it the golden arches (so un-jenniB I know). We get in line and order our small feast. As Phil was waiting for the food I yelled..thank god I just went for that long run so I can eat now…wonder if I fooled anyone?? Doubtful.

All and all it was a good weekend but if I hear arrest me officer one more time I will die.

Pippa, Me and Maree


The Girls and the "Girls"


Happy or loaded - you decide


It's 4:20...gotta go!

Thought Rabbits Were Bad....

Pandemonium breaks out at Taipei Zoo

Taiwan-China relations were dealt a severe setback yesterday when it was found that Taipei Zoo’s “pandas” are not what they seem.

Zookeepers discovered at feeding time yesterday that the two pandas are in fact Wenzhou brown forest bears that had been dyed to create the panda’s distinctive black-and-white appearance.

The Taipei Zoo’s head of ursidae ex-procyonidae care, Connie Liu (劉長春), said she became suspicious when the pandas, Tuan Tuan (團團) and Yuan Yuan (圓圓), began to spend almost all of their waking hours having sex. Pandas are notorious for their low libidos, which make them difficult to breed in captivity.

“Let’s just say Tuan Tuan and Yuan Yuan would tuan yuan at every chance,” said Liu, referring to the combination of the panda’s names, which means “to reunite” in Mandarin. “They would do it doggy-style and every armchair zoologist knows that pandas favor the missionary position — when they do it at all. Their behavior caused chaos. Children screamed and parents became irate.”

Her suspicions were confirmed yesterday when she noticed that the animals’ new hair growth was discolored.

“Their roots began to show,” she said.

A zookeeper who asked to be identified only by his nickname A-diung (阿忠) because he was not authorized to speak with the media said he and his coworkers had long had their doubts, but were discouraged from publicly voicing their concerns by management.

“Whenever the moaning from the panda enclosure gets too loud we gotta go in there and hose ’em down with cold water,” he said. “After a while, parts of the animals’ black-and-white patches started to turn brown.”

He said he alerted senior zoo staff who dismissed his concerns.

“They told me pandas at the zoo in Washington, DC, get lethargic and sometimes lie in their own feces because they can’t tolerate hot weather, so it didn’t surprise them at all that their fur was turning brown since Taipei’s hotter on average than Washington,” he said.

The pandas arrived in Taipei last December as a gift from the Chinese government. The pair were first offered three years ago, but were rejected by then-president Chen Shui-bian (陳水扁). After the Chinese Nationalist Party (KMT) candidate Ma Ying-jeou (馬英九) won the presidential election last May, the pandas were accepted, though critics continue to decry what they see as an attempt by Beijing to bribe Taiwanese with cute, cuddly furballs in lieu of a more meaningful gesture of goodwill such as removing some of the 1,500 missiles China has pointed at Taiwan.

Even the pandas’ most diehard supporters were brokenhearted yesterday. Some angrily compared the subterfuge to last year’s contaminated milk scandal, when melamine that had been added to watered-down milk sickened 300,000 victims across China and led to a recall of diary products in countries including Taiwan.

“First the milk scandal and now this. What are we going to hear next?” said Chang I-jun (張麗君), a Taipei resident.

Chang, who operates a souvenir stand near the zoo’s entrance, added that the scandal would affect sales of her stuffed panda toys, panda T-shirts, panda pens and notepads, remote-controlled pandas on wheels, caps with panda ears on top, panda fans, panda flashlights, panda mugs, panda eyeglass cases, panda face masks, panda slippers, panda wallets and panda purses.

“China certainly owes us an apology,” said Chang.

In a statement released yesterday evening, Chinese foreign ministry spokesman Qin Gang (秦剛) addressed the panda scandal.

“We understand that our compatriots in Taiwan are very upset. We wish to assure them that we have taken steps to address their concerns. We hope that our Taiwanese friends enjoy the gift of two extremely rare Wenzhou brown forest bears,” Qin said.