Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Thought Rabbits Were Bad....

Pandemonium breaks out at Taipei Zoo

Taiwan-China relations were dealt a severe setback yesterday when it was found that Taipei Zoo’s “pandas” are not what they seem.

Zookeepers discovered at feeding time yesterday that the two pandas are in fact Wenzhou brown forest bears that had been dyed to create the panda’s distinctive black-and-white appearance.

The Taipei Zoo’s head of ursidae ex-procyonidae care, Connie Liu (劉長春), said she became suspicious when the pandas, Tuan Tuan (團團) and Yuan Yuan (圓圓), began to spend almost all of their waking hours having sex. Pandas are notorious for their low libidos, which make them difficult to breed in captivity.

“Let’s just say Tuan Tuan and Yuan Yuan would tuan yuan at every chance,” said Liu, referring to the combination of the panda’s names, which means “to reunite” in Mandarin. “They would do it doggy-style and every armchair zoologist knows that pandas favor the missionary position — when they do it at all. Their behavior caused chaos. Children screamed and parents became irate.”

Her suspicions were confirmed yesterday when she noticed that the animals’ new hair growth was discolored.

“Their roots began to show,” she said.

A zookeeper who asked to be identified only by his nickname A-diung (阿忠) because he was not authorized to speak with the media said he and his coworkers had long had their doubts, but were discouraged from publicly voicing their concerns by management.

“Whenever the moaning from the panda enclosure gets too loud we gotta go in there and hose ’em down with cold water,” he said. “After a while, parts of the animals’ black-and-white patches started to turn brown.”

He said he alerted senior zoo staff who dismissed his concerns.

“They told me pandas at the zoo in Washington, DC, get lethargic and sometimes lie in their own feces because they can’t tolerate hot weather, so it didn’t surprise them at all that their fur was turning brown since Taipei’s hotter on average than Washington,” he said.

The pandas arrived in Taipei last December as a gift from the Chinese government. The pair were first offered three years ago, but were rejected by then-president Chen Shui-bian (陳水扁). After the Chinese Nationalist Party (KMT) candidate Ma Ying-jeou (馬英九) won the presidential election last May, the pandas were accepted, though critics continue to decry what they see as an attempt by Beijing to bribe Taiwanese with cute, cuddly furballs in lieu of a more meaningful gesture of goodwill such as removing some of the 1,500 missiles China has pointed at Taiwan.

Even the pandas’ most diehard supporters were brokenhearted yesterday. Some angrily compared the subterfuge to last year’s contaminated milk scandal, when melamine that had been added to watered-down milk sickened 300,000 victims across China and led to a recall of diary products in countries including Taiwan.

“First the milk scandal and now this. What are we going to hear next?” said Chang I-jun (張麗君), a Taipei resident.

Chang, who operates a souvenir stand near the zoo’s entrance, added that the scandal would affect sales of her stuffed panda toys, panda T-shirts, panda pens and notepads, remote-controlled pandas on wheels, caps with panda ears on top, panda fans, panda flashlights, panda mugs, panda eyeglass cases, panda face masks, panda slippers, panda wallets and panda purses.

“China certainly owes us an apology,” said Chang.

In a statement released yesterday evening, Chinese foreign ministry spokesman Qin Gang (秦剛) addressed the panda scandal.

“We understand that our compatriots in Taiwan are very upset. We wish to assure them that we have taken steps to address their concerns. We hope that our Taiwanese friends enjoy the gift of two extremely rare Wenzhou brown forest bears,” Qin said.

Thursday, March 26, 2009


Why do shoe repair places always make keys as well? What is the connection here? Hoping someone can enlighten me??

Happy Friday!

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Here I am!

Well I have certainly failed my first 100 days, but at least I didn’t make a special Olympics comment (or have I) Anyway… here I am ready to blog. To sum up the last couple weeks of my life..stress, stress and stress..I have realized that I have been living my life in a state of flux for over a year now..that is no way to live. Word from the company is that we may not know until the week of April 14 – which is perfect as I will be sunning myself in the Maldives….if I get fired at least I will be on vacation. Oh well..what can you do??

So this weekend I am heading to Hong Kong for the Hong Kong 7’s rugby tournament which is supposed to be absolutely crazy. You have to go in costume so me and the ladies are going as sexy Singapore cops . Although a seasoned drinker, I am actually nervous as from what I hear its intense and you know I am not known for moderation so say a prayer for me!

Alright then, I hope you are all well. I will leave you with some pictures from the Japan ski trip I never posted about!

Ready to hit the slopes

Apres ski for 3 - me, Phil and my man hand

Apre Apres ski

Harajuku Boy and Girl

Terrible picture but a good story. We had some amazing food in Japan - some of the best but this evening was not one of those times. We went to this tradional restaurant where there is a pot of boiling water built into the middle of your table. You are given strips of fatty meats (shown) to cook in the water along with veggies etc. So we had the dinner along with alot of sake and by the end of the evening I could not see! I was like Phil is it smokey in here?? Can you see ok?? God that Sake is strong!! I get up to go to the bathroom - actually feel my way to the bathroom as I was a blind as Helen Keller. I removed my contacts I was like HUH?? I can see! only to realize that both were covered in a layer of grease from the steaming pot of boiling meat fat! I was so grossed out!!

Love you XOXOX