Friday, December 21, 2007

It's Beginning...

to look and feel alot like Christmas...finally! I have arrived safe and sound in NYC and it is WONDERFUL to be home. So great to see many of you last night and looking forward to many more reunions over the next two weeks. I am sitting at Mels still in my PJs, gazing out on the gray sky and literally doing a snow dance. This is how the holiday season is meant to be!

XOXO

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Gift Idea

Are you stumped when it comes to buying a holiday gift for the Mandu, Don (not the real one), Kiki, Mame, Gizmo or Socks in your life?? Well look no further, I have the perfect gift for even the most hard to please feline: Kitty Wig!





Available is 4 fashionable colors and styles, I am sold on the “bashful blond” option (pictured) after reading the sales pitch:

Blonde is a magical mix of bashful and brazen. Fern shows off the many moods of a natural blonde: sweet yet catty, smart yet batty -- where life is alluring and coy. Now all she needs is a bikini and a Swedish accent. Blonde sets off your kitty’s eyes and makes your kitty look tan.

Do you think it makes Fern look tan?? Pure comedy!

Check out the website for yourself. kittywigs

One final thought, a big PO-PO-ZOW Happy Birthday to KDUB!
Happy Birthday girl. Thank god your “head is bigger than a walnut" (quote: Carolyn Sortor, Kitty Wigs.com) or you would be getting one of these wigs from me!!! We’ll celebrate in NYC!

JB

Monday, December 10, 2007

24 Little Hours.....

What a difference a day makes…I feel like a new person. The needles in the stomach are but a distant memory and I feel fresh and rejuvenated! It really do find it amazing how one can feel so different from one day to the other.

There is another reason why this post is titled “24 Little Hours” other than to brag about my new lease on life….I received a call this morning from one of the very, very pleasant agents at Singapore Airlines (again can I tell you how much I love them) informing me of 1) my waitlist had cleared and I am now on the flight arriving on DECEMBER 17! Strange thing is I never put myself on the waitlist I called last week to see if any seats opened up on that flight and THEY PUT ME ON THE WAITLIST and I have an aisle seat!!!!…24 little hours prior to my original plan…24 more hours back in the States! Now if that wasn’t good enough…2) I had been upgraded to business class for my flight back to Singapore on January 1!!!! I am still in executive economy on the 17 but they advised me that they will try their best to accommodate another upgrade….are these people for real??? I mean seriously do they not know they are an airline!!!! I, once again, profess my love to Singapore Airlines!

So this time next week…I will be in my winter clothes really getting into the Christmas spirit (I am sorry a Chinese Santa just doesn’t do it for me).

I wonder what the next 24 hours will bring!!

6 days and counting…

Monday's Suck!

Hello. If there is one thing I hate its Monday’s and this one may be one of the worst. It all started about 7:30 pm last night when I got home from lunch and games at a friend’s apartment. There were about 10 of us and we ate, drank and played some games for about 7 hours, needless to say all of us were a bit tipsy as we headed home. As soon as I got home, I grabbed my pillow and blanket and settled on the couch for some Amazing Race Asia. My bodypump teacher is one of the contestants so it makes watching so much more fun. So I was all settled in and immediately fell asleep (passed out). I woke up at 11:30pm all discombobulated. I oriented myself and headed to bed where I spent the next 8 hours tossing and turning UGG! It is one thing to be tired but I have the worst stomach ache…its like someone is sticking needles in my stomach and I may puke at any moment…lovely I know! So I am sitting here just counting down the minutes until I get to leave this place

So the weekend was a good one. After a really horrible week at work, I had holiday dinner on Friday night with my co-workers which was really nice. The evening ended early and I was happy to be on my couch (god I love my couch) in front of the TV at 10:30pm. I was fast asleep at midnight only to be woken up at 2:00am by “Scotty” drunk dialing. I must extend my sincere apologies to those on the receiving end of MY drunken calls….GOD DRUNK DIALING IS ANNOYING! I am making a concerted effort to stop partaking in such activities.

Saturday I actually got some Christmas shopping done only to realize that I have to get all this crap home so the rest of the shopping will be done in NYC. Saturday night was our company Christmas party followed by ZoukOut which I mentioned in a previous post was the rave at the beach.

Ok I just had another wave of “I may just puke on myself” so I am going to stop writing and just include some pics of the weekend.

Me and my co-workers, Wendy and Rachel

Me, Helen, Jaime, Katherine at holiday party
Me & Tessa aka Chinese Molly Ringwald (pic does not do the resembalance justice)


Katherine and Louise at ZoukOut


Hang 10 at the rave...


Me and the Boys (left to right: peter, Darian (is he not the hottest thing) and Ben). I look naked!


Talk to you tomorrow...Pukey McPukester

Thursday, December 6, 2007

Rock Star

Sorry I have not been posting but work has been nuts.

I have tried to do a recap of last weekend for like 5 minutes now and it’s just no fun when I am one day away from the next one so…ball was great and knocked 3 minutes 8 seconds off my last 10K time so all and all a good one.

So wanted to share some random thought I have on a regular basis. I am not an artistically inclined person, I can barely draw a stick figure, singing…forget about it, acting..too self-conscience, playing a musical instrument...other than my brief dalliance with the clarinet (Jenni “Benny Goodman” B) and my mastering of “Heart and Soul” on the piano I have no talent here either but have always dreamed of being a rock star, so today I give you my “band” and identified one song that I would like to play on every instrument:

Saxophone: Rosalita, Bruce Springsteen
Trumpet: Smile, Lily Allen
Bass Guitar: Primary, The Cure
Electric Guitar: Crazy Train, Ozzy Osbourne
Drums: Wild Side, Motley Crue
Piano: November Rain, Guns & Roses
Violin/Fiddle: Cotton Eye Joe
Tambourine: If You Love Someone Set Them Free, Sting

I could really be a one man band (in my dreams)

Rock on!

Sunday, December 2, 2007

Belated Post

Due to technical difficulties this post did not go up on Friday so here it is today. I will recap for tomorrow's post.

I just have too many thoughts in my head and too little time to write a nice entry so I am just going to babble.

Ok to add on to yesterday’s entry about living here being just like college. Below is another Christmas celebration email I received today:

With the silly season almost upon us, some of Munster's elite (who shall remain nameless!) thought it suitable to mark the festive season with some festive cheer!
While a decadent black tie evening of mulled wine and canapés was discussed, it was outvoted in place of the inaugural….

12 Pubs of Christmas!

Not much is being given away (but I'm sure you get the gist!!)
However it's suffice to say….
- It starts in Muddy Murphy's on Orchard Road at 1.45pm on Saturday December 8th and
- The final stop is Zoukout in Siloso Beach


Let me tell you that Zoukout is a rave that is happening on the beach 8pm – 8am! I feel like I am living on an island version of Animal House. Now I know how T-Bone feels.

So now to tell you about tonight’s plans…complete opposite of this fiasco waiting to happen….tonight I am headed to the St. Andrews Ball. This apparently is a very posh event including a 5 course meal and wine. I had my cocktail dress all ready until a get an email from my date today that a ball gown is the suggested attire for the ladies…UMMM Hello a little more notice would have been helpful. So now I have to drag myself home, find one of the 2 long dresses I own and hope that there is not wine spilled all over them. Chances are quite good that they will in fact be “enhanced” with loads of red wine. This evening will mark yet another first for me in that my date will be wearing a skirt, a kilt to be precise and I have confirmed that they DO NOT wear anything underneath. I hope he doesn’t pull a Britney Spears or as Jeff said attempt any breakdancing!

Tomorrow is a late lunch, some rearranging of the NYC furniture in the Singapore apt…yes its here!! And an early to bed night since I am running another 10K on Sunday (what in god’s name am I thinking????)

Alright I have to bounce!

Have a great weekend!

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Cut Throat Pollyanna

It is amazing how time flies and that Christmas is right around the corner. I have not felt this type of excitement since....well I don’t remember. The whole experience this year is really pretty different and cool.

Starting next week, the holiday/goodbye parties begin. Yes, goodbye parties! It is time to celebrate and say a short goodbye to the new “family” I have acquired over the last 6 months and no offense New York but I am a bit emotional about the whole thing. Friends have equated this experience to the freshman year at college when you say goodbye to all of your new friends and return home a slightly different person, more worldly, more mature, with new catch phrases and in my case perhaps a little bit of an accent (its unintentional I swear!). It’s a strange thought to envision all of my new friends boarding planes to Ireland, Australia, London, South Africa, New Zealand….to get back to their “real lives” Yes, real lives…it all seems fake and surreal here in a good and slightly unnerving way.

So as I mentioned the parties start next week and despite our different places of origin some games just seem to work in every culture. Here is an excerpt from a Christmas dinner email I received today:

Gifts should go something like this: Everyone brings a wrapped gift worth SGD15 Upon arrival everyone picks a number out of a hat The highest number (call it 12 for now) unwraps whatever present they like in the pile. #11 can either steal the present that #12 just opened or pick another wrapped present. This goes on until #1 can choose any present in the room or take the last remaining wrapped present.

Brooklyn/Philly New Years Eve crowd… say it together CUT-THROAT POLLYANNA!!!!! I highly doubt this evening’s version will be anything compared to our very spirited games over the last…what is it…8 years!!! So much fun and laughs have resulted from CTP that I would like to highlight some for your enjoyment:

1 . The decorative (empty) M&M tin.
2. Kook’s thong which he proceeded to wear for the rest of the night
3. The stink bomb that was left in my apt (Kelly!)
4. Rita’s porn which Fallone seem to get at the PJ party circa 2001
5. The guy with the gold coins and the vest from Prudential…he wasn’t a gift but he sure was funny! Turkey..didn’t you extend the invite in the copy room?
6. The underwear that Ivy and I almost had a fist fight over
7. Was the "momma's special girl pic taken during CTP?"
9. AND MY ALL TIME FAVORITE…Mr. Potato Head!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He better be at the party this year wearing his tux sans pants!

Can’t wait to ring in 2008. Ok not sad anymore cant wait to see you guys!

XOXOXXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Facebook

I never thought I would say this but I am obsessed with Facebook! As some of you know, I am not one to "hangout" on the computer. I get to work, check my email, linger on select blogs and check celebrity gossip but that is the end of it...ok so maybe I hangout a little bit but Facebook has brought me to a new level.

So I am asking you to support my habit and join www.facebook.com. Good times!

Love,

[sorry already at facebook]

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Shanghai Thanksgiving

Hello. Its Thanksgiving (well here anyway) and I wanted to wish you all a very happy day filled with turkey, stuffing, pies and many, many glasses of wine.

A VERY SPECIAL Happy Birthday wish to Kelly! Happy Birthday girl! I know you will not disappoint my many, many glasses of wine wish!

Its about 4am Thanksgiving eve for your NYer’s and I have a feeling that my mom is still up cooking and Mel most likely just went to bed, both preparing their Thanksgiving feasts. I am missing you guys! Do me a favor and give the people you are spending this day with a huge hug and kiss.

Ok so before I launch into my Shanghai trip. I am sticking with the family tradition of saying a few things that I am thankful for this year:

Wonderful friends and family. God its so amazing to wake up and know that I have all of you in my life (cheesy I know) but I really can’t explain it. Both here and there….I AM A LUCKY,
1. LUCKY person.
2. This amazing opportunity I am experiencing
3. That I didn’t die scuba diving
4. Singapore Airlines
5. This Blog (thanks Jeff).

Ok on to the trip. Shanghai is my new favorite Asian city. What a great place. Unlike Hong Kong and Singapore, where you can feel that you are just in the Chinatown section of any American city, Shanghai feels like Asia. Not one of my cab drivers spoke English so it was an adventure every trip I took. Can’t really put it into words but there was such a vibe and energy to just being there. And the buildings and different neighborhoods are really unique. I didn’t get to explore as much as I wanted to but on my next trip which I will make sure is soon.

I was staying at the Grand Hyatt which I came to find out is in, what was once, the tallest building in the world. The lobby of the hotel is on the 54th floor of the building! My room was on the 74th floor. This struck me as very odd…don’t you think?? That being said the view was AMAZING! My one complaint was the room was so “wired” and technically advanced that it literally took me ½ hour to turn the lights off before going to bed. Imagine my annoyance and grumbling at 1:30am my first night! I was literally saying out loud “I HATE TECHNOLOGY” .

So I had another “first” during this trip. I conducted my first meeting with someone who did not speak English. I had to bring an assistant with me to translate. It was strange and I am not entirely sure they were not talking about me behind…well I guess in front…of my face. I felt like I should have had those United Nations earphones on! It was funny but by the end of the 2 hour meeting..I felt like I could understand and was actually answering in English before Vivi translated. He was using his hands a lot so I guess that helped. It was pretty cool though.

Ok I just realized that this entry is pretty long already and I may be losing some of you so I will wrap it up (sorry I am on the plane so could type for hours). So here are some highlights from my favorite business trip so far:

* Lost in translation: Out to lunch with one of the girls from the office who speaks English well but this went totally wrong: [she was complaining about her workload] Me: The day must fly by! Her: Nope I really don’t travel for my job. I guess the word fly threw her.

* At the dinner I was looking for my first speaker who is Chinese. I was looking and looking and realized he was right in front of me Me: oh wow there you are: Him: Its hard to spot me in a room full of Chinese people huh? NOT AGAIN (remember the pantry scene). I was like haha..no, no!! Do I have “I think all Asian people look alike stamped on my forehead??

* At the restaurant, I went to the bathroom and there was a funny, stale water smell so I asked Vivi to ask the manager in Chinese for a candle or air freshener. She was looking at me really strange, turned red and started to giggle….I then realized that she thought I took a big #2 and need to cover the smell! Now I was the one turning red and giggling!! I was like oh no, no, not me!!!!

* I ate jellyfish for the first time and loved it and spotted turtle ovary on a menu!!! Come to think of it that could be just like a whole bunch of cavier!! Humm…could be tasty!

Alright I will stop now!

Love you lots.

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Go Shorty!

From the moment I first sat my fat ass in his chair..my Singapore hairstylist has been asking me to cut my hair short a la Posh Spice well kids I finally gave in. JenniB is once again rockin’ some short hair. I was a bit nervous but am happy that I decided to do it! So far everyone (to my face) has commented on how much they like it but you all can be the judge when I return for Christmas.

So hope you all had a nice weekend. Mine was great but as always way too short. I am headed to Shanghai for some business this afternoon. I am really excited!! I have heard great things from everyone who has been and just take a look at the skyline…how could it not be cool! Speaking of cool…its 55 degrees there now so I am actually going to be able to wear sweaters and a coat…it’s the little things in life that get me excited! I am organizing a dinner/wine tasting on Wednesday night. I had to seek the advice from a collegue in the Shanghai office since I didn’t recognize ½ the things on the menu so I am certainly in for some new culinary experiences.

Hope you are all gearing up for turkey day!!

LOVE JB

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Story Look Familiar????

The following was posted on Perez Hilton.com today! Look familiar? Is Perez a Stupid Ho Fan or has Adam from Reuters scooped (no pun intended) me???



We see a trend here!
According to
Reuters:
“Ice-cream shaped like faeces is ready to be served at the Modern Toilet diner in the Shilin district in Taipei November 9, 2007. All 100 seats in the crowded diner are made from toilet bowls, not chairs. Sink faucets and gender-coded “WC” signs appear throughout the three-storey facility, one of 12 in an island-wide chain of eateries with a toilet theme.”
Eat up!
Happy Weekend!

Monday, November 12, 2007

The Package

The longer I am here, the more little things seem to get on my nerves. One thing that has really started to bug me is that there is a package for every service you can image, nails, waxing, salad bars, coffee..everything! By package I mean like you pay $500 up front for a let’s say…manicures. I don’t know what I am doing tomorrow much less if I’ll even be around for $500 worth of manicures so why would I pay up front!! The mere existence of these packages is really not what bothers me but the fact that they are pushed on you everywhere…”You got Package?” “You want package?” “Package good!” to which I vehemently respond “no…no thanks no package!” and then they roll their eyes and ring up my order. I have considered making a shirt with the words NO PACKAGE written across but thought that may look like I am a recent transsexual (get it..no package heheh).

Ok so I think you got the idea that I am not a regular package purchaser but I had decided to break my own rule and purchase a 20 class package at the new yoga studio near work since the yoga classes offered at my gym stink. So I sit down with the sales lady and the following ensues:

Me: Hi, I would like to buy a 20 class package please
Saleslady: You want 3 month package…sign here
Me: No, I don’t want 3 month package, just the 20 classes
Saleslady: 3 month better for you.
Me: No, not really since I travel quite a bit and I am heading back to NY for the holidays so I would be wasting a couple weeks of the 3 month package. Plus I belong to another gym so will only be here once a week. (why am I justifying myself to this lady?).
Saleslady: You can suspend the 3 month membership when you go away for $42
Me: (now I am starting to lose it a little bit) why would I want to pay an additional $42 when all I want is the 20 classes?????
Saleslady: It work better for you.
Me: (voice raised) no really it doesn’t! I then outline on a piece of paper the benefits of me just doing the 20 class package
Saleslady: Ok you get the 20 classes. Can I have your work permit and your credit card?
Me: here you go. I couldn’t believe how hard that was!!
Saleslady: Oh! we have the same birthday!….but I am so much younger than you. I am only 25.
Me: OH NO SHE DIDN’T!! “oh….that’s nice 25’s a good age (good one Jenn…good come back)
Saleslady: How long have you been here?
Me: (now my patience is totally gone) 5 months!
Saleslady: (not so discreetly) looks at my finger…are you here with someone?
Me: Nope I am here by myself.
Saleslady: (Look of totally pity on her face) “Oh I am so sorry”
Me: Of all the clever things I have thought to say in response to this and the age incident after I left this is what I came up with “I have lots of friends!” Who says that??

After signing for the 20 class package I collected my “free” water bottle and stormed off leaving all the positive energy I had from my yoga class behind!

Serenity Now!

Team Britney....

Here are a couple of fans showing their support for poor Britney.


Enough said!

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Holiday (Its time to get together)

Tomorrow is another new public holiday for me Deepavali. I feel kind of bad enjoying a relaxing day off and not knowing exactly why I can enjoy such luxury (well, not really). So here you go:

Deepavali also known as Diwali, literally means "row or garland of lights". Locally, it has been called "The Festival of Lights". It is symbolic of victory of good over evil, celebrated by most Hindus the world over. It highlights the victory of Lord Krishna, one of the deities of the Hindu pantheon, over the Demon King, Narakasura. It usually falls around late October or early November on the new moon day.

Legend has it that Narakasura, the king of demons, had tortured the common folk. After many years of hardship, the people, unable to bear the suffering, appealed to Lord Krishna who then declared war against the demon king. As he lay dying, the demon king begged for mercy from Lord Krishna and he asked that the people rejoice and be merry at the anniversary of his death as a reminder that ultimately evil will never triumph. Little clay lamps were then lighted as a sign of gratitude to Lord Krishna.Some Hindus believe that Deepavali is celebrated to mark the return of Rama, his wife Sita and brother Lakshmana after being banished from Ayodhya by his stepmother for a period of 14 years. An important reminder is that Deepavali is not the Indian or Hindu new year. The Tamil New Year falls on either 13 or 14 April every year.

Deepavali Preparations start weeks before with the spring cleaning of the home. New clothes are bought and women take great pains to make cakes, sweetmeats and other tidbits, the favourite being murukku. Hindus also believe that departed souls return during this time. So, favourite foods of the departed along with new clothes are placed on banana leaves before the photographs of the departed and prayers done.

Early in the morning, the Hindus will have the traditional oil bath. The body is rubbed and massaged from head to toe with gingelly oil that is extracted from fermented sesame seeds. When all the members have had their bath and don their new clothes, special prayers are held at the family altar. Decorative designs or rice flour paintings with intricate designs usually done by womenfolk on the floor at the entrances of homes. Hindus also make it a point to visit temples early in the morning to receive the blessings of Lord Krishna and the Goddess of Wealth. Then it is time for either visiting friends or receiving them. At night, children play with sparklers and are allowed to light clay lamps and display them along the window ledges or doorways.

Even after reading this info, I am not really sure why this warrants a holiday but who am I to question??? In observance of Deepavali I will spending the day tomorrow getting massaged from head to toe at Spa Botanica followed by some happy hour drinks with the girls. I feel like a regular Hindu.

Namaste,

Jenni “Shanti” B

Sunday, November 4, 2007

Tag!

Jeff aka pop-o-matic "tagged" me and here is what I have to do. I am only doing A&B since Jeff tagged all my blogger friends already:

A). Link to the person that tagged you and post the rules on your blog...
B). Share 7 random and/or weird facts about yourself...
C). Tag 7 random people at the end of your post and include links to their blogs...
D). Let each person know that they've been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

1. I danced on Broadway
2. I sleep with a “spit shirt”
3. Nothing is better than sitting on the beach at 5pm…when the sun is going down
4. I think I am addicted to exercise
5. I am obsessed with ingrown hairs.
6. I am terrible at video games…with the exception of WII Boxing (this may be a result of #4)
7. I dislike animation and sci-fi movies…I hate sci-fi movies that are animated!

Thursday, November 1, 2007

New York State of Mind

Hope everyone is as ready as I am for the weekend. This is one of those times that I truly miss New York..Why??? This weekend is one of my all time favorite events…marathon Sunday. Aww..I love it. I am especially bummed to miss it this year since Mich S is running!! You go girl! I remember how proud I was of you during the Philly one and know you are going to rock it out.

Mel, I am going to miss cheering with you on 5th avenue then going to watch the Saints play!!

I hope every New York reader truly enjoys the day…have a bloody mary for me!

XOXOXOX

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Happy Halloween

Happy Halloween everyone!

Believe it or not the pictures posted here are not from this Halloween or any Halloween for that matter, just a normal Saturday night in Brooklyn…Good Times! I especially love JM’s face in the second picture. I keep looking at it and am literally laughing out loud.

That night ended with the four of us thinking it was a great idea to take ourselves to the corner bodega to buy beer in those get-ups.
Again I have to ask myself just where my pride as gone?????

Anyway, I will not be dressing up this year as it is not such a big deal here and I am slightly under the weather so I would love to hear your plans and what you plan to be. Rudi if you are reading this..please comment as you always have some great costumes. I have to share the link to Jdizzles blog so you can take a peek at her awesome costume as a member of the Muppet Show band.

Trick or Treat!
JB

Vacation from Vacation

Well I did it. I am an official PADI certified scuba diver. Based upon my previous scuba experience (once in Australia) I thought it was going to be a piece of cake….boy did I think wrong! The actual course is hard in and of itself but the fact that Phuket which is supposed to be a lovely, tropical place this time of year, was a rainy mess.

We arrived at the scuba place on the first day to be greated by out instructor…..Andre!! Dutch, 43, bald, built beautiful man! Whoo-hoo! Andre was just for us for the next 4 days…good times. The first day consisted of videos and quizzes which was fine since it was rainy and we thought the next day would be different.

Day 2: We arrive for our first in the water session only to be told that we had to be in the pool rather than the ocean since the water was so choppy. Nothing too exciting to report other than I was able to get into the wetsuit no problem and was actually complimented by Andre once suited up. The day went extremely well and we were excited by how well we did. We ended with many drinks on our terrace, then drinks at a little local bar where due to the weather all the lights went out in Kata beach for an hour so we sat, drank and learned Thai by candlelight. Once the lights came back on we headed out for dinner, drank another bottle of wine then headed to a massage place for some drunken spa at 10pm. We had a hour foot massage followed by an hour Thai massage and by the time it was over I was hung over!!!! All this for a mere $25USD

Day 3: We were booked on a boat out to an island about 1.5 hours off of Phuket where the water was clear and the sun shinning so we packed up all the equipment and boarded the boat…yeah it may have been pleasant there but the 1.5 hours of travel time was anything but. The weather was horrible. I seriously thought I was an extra in The Perfect Storm. Kids..this is not an exaggeration. There were about 15 other people on the boat and about 5 of them were just puking off the side the entire time. It was pretty gross. So we finally reach calmer waters and start suiting up for our first open water dive. I was really nervous but with Andre by our side things didn’t seem quite as scary.

We make our descent and it was really beautiful. There were all sorts of fish everywhere and the swim was pretty calming. We went about 12 meters for about 40 minutes but I was so nervous that I was doing everything right I never really enjoyed the scenery. About 15 minutes in I was thinking all these freakin fish look alike…ready to go back up. We again did really well so was feeling pretty confident about our scuba skills. We made our ascent and headed back to the boat for some lunch. Little did I know that my day was about to change….for the worse.

After lunch the beautiful weather of Phuket (NOT) made its way to our little sunny place and it started to rain. We got back into the water and were preparing to do some skill tests on the bottom. The test was to take out regulators (thing that allows you to breath underwater) out of our mouths, throw them behind our backs, find it then put it back in and start breathing again. No sweat did it in the pool….no problem. Not sure whether it was over confidence or I just was not thinking but I started the exercise, took the regulator out of my mouth, threw it behind and realized I have not taken a big enough breath…I got the thing back in my hand and just as I was about to get it back in my reflexes took over and I tried to take a breath…not tooo smart as I ended up with a mouth full of water and could not clear my regulator. I started to signal ASCENT! ASCENT! the thing would not clear and I was basically drowning (again no exaggeration here) so Andre started to bring me up and about ½ way up it cleared and I could taste the sweet taste of oxygen… Andre would not take his eyes off mine which was so calming…can you tell I fell in love with him heheh! We get to the surface and I was totally freaked!! I relaxed for a bit but had no desire to go back down. I knew if I did not I would never dive again so I asked for a minute and Andre said we would go for a swim underwater to calm me down and that I could hold his hand. Helen made me laugh after as she said she felt like a third wheel as we swam hand and hand. After a brief swim it was time to do it again and if I could not do this I would not pass. So, I peed my wetsuit and got into position and did the drill…Success! I did it!!! I was really freaking out.

As we swam back to the shore do you know what I was thinking…….I almost died… I am eating pasta tonight…seriously that is what I was thinking!! Who thinks that?????

Day 4: Back to the boat and I was not really into the whole thing as a result of day 3s experience but the weather was actually sunny which made it a bit easier to get out of bed. By this time both Helen and I were so beat up that we literally dragged ourselves to the shop.

Back to the boat and a much calmer trip to the reef. I assured Andre yesterday’s experience had not gotten me down too much and I was feeling confident I could complete the course. The next two dives were uneventful (thank god) and really beautiful AND to 18 meters/60 feet!!! The max an diver at our level could do! As we made our final ascent, Andre gave us a big group hug and oddly enough his *** was at eye level for me the whole time which Helen realized and made us both laugh so hard I almost lost the regulator once again.

Headed back and only the final written exam to go. As you already know, we passed the final exam and we were able to put our pictures on the wall of fame!

We celebrated with some beers and music with Andre…he was really proud!

Here I sit back in Singapore and my body has had enough even our last day which we filled with spa could make us feel any better.

So…need another vacation.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Just Like Jacques...

Well not really but! In 3 hours (and counting) I will be boarding a plane to Thailand for a five day scuba course and at the end yours truly will be a certified scuba diver!! Well that’s IF I can get that damn wetsuit on!! Who would have thunk it???

Keep your fingers, toes and everything else crossed that I make it back ok and without any run-ins with Jaws.

In addition to the scuba course HF and I plan to eat, drink (moderately...just getting over Sunday's drinkfest!!!) and spa our way through Kata Beach so expecting a good time all around. Both digital and underwater cameras are packed so expect to be bored upon my return…actually have packed my computer so who knows maybe some surprise vacation blogging.

Humm…perhaps I need to invest in one of those little red hats JC is rocking to really get in the spirit!!

Love,

Jenni”hope I don’t get the bends”B

Mandarin for Dummies (round 2)

My all time favorite (so far) local lunch is Yong Tau Foo. There is a yong tau foo stall in pretty much every hawker center. It is basically a small salad-like bar where you can choose from a selection of tofu (fried and plain), all types of fresh greens, fish balls, all sorts of fried stuff and fresh vegetables. You fill your bowl with all your favorite choices and once at the front of the line you hand it over they steam and make a soup right in front of you. YUM! One other thing you can add to your soup is one of 3 types of noodles (really thin, thin and thick). Now I have relaxed by eating habits quite a bit since being here but I am not really a fan of the noodle so here in lies the problem since generally the hawker workers speak very little English. I have come to know all the workers in the yong tau foo booth near work so they pretty much have my order down, this was after the first day I looked at the noodles, shook my head “no” violently and almost jumped over the counter to knock the noodles out of her hand but what if I were to visit another stall where they didn’t know me quite so well??

This potential dilemma brings me to today’s lesson:

No Noodles = Bu Yao Mian 面条不喜欢

Add this to our earlier lesson and you get = Bu Yao Mian, XieXie (no noodles thank you)

Look at that we are practically fluent after only 2 lessons.

Monday, October 22, 2007

Run Hard...Play Hard

I am going to start this post by saying there may be more spelling/grammatical errors than usual as a result of the worst hang over I have ever experienced in my whole life….this is not exaggeration as I am pretty certain that I just stopped being drunk about an hour ago (its 4pm).
I am very happy to report that the 10K was a success. I crossed the finish line at 64 minutes but given the start delay I am guessing my official time is around 60 minutes. I keep checking the event site for my time to be posted….will let you know as soon as I do. I must say I am pretty proud of myself especially given the fact that Saturday night was the rugby world cup and everyone was going to get together for the 3am start. I managed to have dinner with the crew and take myself home at 10:30pm to get ready for the race….I know I shocked myself!

It was a really great day with a little over 8,000 participants, all women. What I loved most about it was seeing all the different types of women doing the race: old, young, big, small, Chinese, white, Muslim….and trying to figure out what their motivation was for getting up so early on a Sunday, in the heat to run 10K. I have to give the most respect to the Muslim woman who have no choice but to run in their head scarf, pants and long sleeves. I was sweating like an animal in my little tee shirt and shorts! I look forward to doing another but not for a while…it was tough!

So after a morning of doing really great things for my mind and body what do I do but flush it all down the toilet but drinking WAY TOO MUCH! It all started innocently enough with a champagne brunch at Noon. These are really popular in Singapore. It is basically any type of food you can image with free flow champagne for 3-4 hours and you stay the entire 3-4 hours!! There were about 20 of us celebrating our friend Duncan’s birthday. It was great fun but by the end I was so tired and drunk all I wanted to do was go home..no such luck! The group was heading to another bar to continue the celebration and after a little arm twisting and being reminded that it was only 3pm I agreed to go along but only for one. BIG MISTAKE!! Irish Bar + feather boas+ live band+wigs+devil horns+a totally dehydrated from the run JenniB = TROUBLE
Me & Helen:

Me and Phil

Shortly after this last one was taken, I for some reason was put in charge of cutting the birthday cake, broke the knife and some cake flipped up and landed on my face. Would not have been bad had I actually realized this happened rather than sitting there for a good few minutes with chocolate cake on my forehead…Classy!

At about oh god who am I kidding I have no idea what time it was..the crew decided to move the party to a bar right near my apartment. I was like ok I ‘ll have one drink then head home..perfect..not so perfect. Had many more drinks there and made it home at midnight (I think). So as a recap I was up at 6am, ran for an hour in the heat, and drank from 12:00pm – 12:00am!

I had posed a question to you all back in the Phuket post about me having a problem and the answer is YES…Hello my name is JenniB and I am an alcoholic!

Oh but I do have to tell you about a laugh I had on my way to work this morning. They play Chinese soap operas (in English) on the bus in the morning and I usually have my ipod on so don’t really pay attention, put this morning my head hurt too much to have music playing in my ears so I was watching. Didn’t quite get what was going on but there was a guy in a wheelchair, I think he may have been retarded and he was a painter. He said something that actually made me laugh out loud which I don’t think was a good thing considering he is in a wheelchair and possible retarded ….”Just because I am disabled doesn’t mean I am unable” say that with a Chinese accent…pure comedy.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Tea & Toast

I love going out to lunch with my Singaporean co-workers. They always open my eyes and palate to new local dishes that I end up loving and adding to the lunch rotation. South Beach diet?? What South Beach diet? Anyway today was a co-worker lunch day and although I love it was a little disappointed to hear that we were going for sushi. We go to this really great place near work but I always order the same sashimi dish which is quite unadventurous. So heading back to the office, Rachael was like I want to get a coffee before heading back…hey Jenn have you ever had local coffee?? I had yet to taste it but my curiosity was not getting the best of me for this one. We headed to a tea & toast joint, now my interest was piqued. These little “cafes” are all over the city and most simply called tea and toast. How can an establishment survive simply serving tea & toast?? Interestingly enough they are always packed at all hours. Given the name, breakfast I could understand but tea and toast all day??

Rachel went ahead and ordered coffee for me and I sensed something else (she was ordering in Mandarin and unless she uttered XieXie I was not getting any of it). Coffee arrives and so does a grease soaked bag which she shoved in my hand and was like “you have to taste this.” “Sure I am up for anything on co-worker lunch day.” First the coffee… it is made with condensed milk and it so sweet it was out of control…not a fan! Now to the bag filled with kaya toast. Ok I’ll break it down…two slices of toasted white bread (yes,…unhealthy, no nutritional value white bread) made into two sandwiches. Spread in the middle was kaya (short for serikaya a coconut jam) and a big slab of butter. I have to admit although I am up for anything on these days this stuff is really bad for you! So I took a bite and thankfully I did not love it. Again, just like the coffee the jam is so sweet I felt like I was chewing on sugarcane. I did manage to eat one sandwich and finish my coffee since I did not want to be rude but I am sorry to say that this was not a successful co-worker lunch day.

One positive has come out of the experience though….I now know why the tea & toast places are always packed….everyone is so hopped up on sugar that they can just sit and talk for hours!!

3 days ‘til 10K and counting…..

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Word of the Week

I should be ashamed of myself! I have been living here for almost four months now and only know how to say one thing in Mandarin. Know wonder I took French I like four times. So right here right now I vow to learn one new word or phrase each week and I am forcing you to learn too.

So the first installment is the only phrase that I have managed to learn and that is:

Thank you! = XieXie 謝謝 (pronounced shea, shea).

Let the learning begin!

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Wetsuits are Dangerous!

I am not only talking about the damage that can be done to your ego but physical damage as well! Last night’s experience really surpassed even my worst expectations.

Ok so..HF and I meet and head over to the scuba shop where we were meeting her BF for the big purchase. We were headed to a shop called Friendly Waters so the name alone had already put me at ease. I envisioned a bright and cheerful surf shop filled with flowered shorts, Rip Curl posters, beach boys playing on the radio…ok maybe I am exaggerating a bit but I was not expecting Friendly Waters.

We made our way to this nondescript building that looked like an abandoned office building. When we entered, it was basically a small shopping mall with really random stores: dancing shoe manufacture, non-surgical tummy tucks, a whisky store (Singapore is filled with these type of random shopping centers). After a “where the hell is this place” call to BF we find FW. The place was about the size of my kitchen in Brooklyn and crammed with scuba equipment…not a poster or surf video in sight!

I jump right over to the wetsuit rack and I notice a doorway to my right …what’s through the doorway???…a closet converted into a fully stocked bar with a bartender! Interesting! I start working my way through the wetsuit rack and happen upon a pink and black one..perfect I thought..nice and girly. I take it off the rack and proclaim “this to be my suit!” The wetsuit expert came over looks at the suit then looks at me..looks at the suit then looks at me and says TOO SMALL! You need a size XX I am not going to even write the size because it was about 4 sizes bigger than what I usually wear!! Shot to the ego #1. He managed to find my size in the Lane Bryant section of the store and I was ready to try on..ok so where are the fitting rooms?? Where else?? the bar of course! HF and I were lead into the bar, the bartender kicked out and we were instructed to “Keep the lights off or the whole street will see you naked” Great!

Those of you who have had the “pleasure” of pushing and pulling yourself into a wetsuit knows the drama of the next 15 minutes of my life but we managed to get in and both were immediately told..that the suits did not fit..try another. Ego hit #2. At this point we were both starting to sweat profusely. Suit #2…this was much harder to get on now that we were both sweating so much that it made the suits stick which made me sweat even more. This may be a good time to say that the bar, although fully stocked, had no air con.

As I slowly (very slowly) yank the suite up my body I realize that my fingers are killing me…I had managed to actually take the skin off of my two middle fingers on both hands trying to get this fing suit on my body!!!! I was like Helen can you believe this!! This suit better be the one! Out we both walk again hair a mess, faces red and wet with sweat. Helen’s inspection is first..she has a winner! Me..nope not the right fit. YOU HAVE GOT TO BE F’ING KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW!!!! Ego hit # 3. I actually whimpered and stated I just could not get back in the sweatbox and attempt another suit. The expert searched through the racks for the right fit then mysteriously went into the bar and came back with #3. The hope of wearing a ladylike, hot little number was out the window this was black and blue and MANLY.

Helen, already stripped out of her suit, promised to help me try #3 since I could barely grip anything because I had blisters on my hands for this horrible experience. So there we are in the dark bar, H in just a skirt and bra, me in just my underwear and we start the process again this time I was so sweaty it was disgusting…we were both pushing and pulling, skin lumping in really unattractive ways and then IT happened….our friendship reached a whole new level…as she was “working” on the bottom of the right leg of my suit and me on the left (remember I am sweaty, and pratically naked) I take a big yank of the suit and my sweaty hip rubs right across her face!! We both started laughing so hard that I almost peed my wetsuit. After the fits of laughter, Helen being the good friend she is continued to be an active participant and finally I heard the sweet sound of ziiiiiiippppppp and as Barney would say I was suited up! I got myself together, took a deep breath and thought if this dosen’t work diving is just not for me. I’ll just sit on the beach in my easy to get on and off bathing suit!! Thankfully I got the thumbs up and am now the proud owner of a very expensive, very manly wetsuit. I freaking better like this sport!

As I sit here typing I have to laugh and I am constantly reminded of the evening as I look down and see my blistered knuckles which make me look like I am a contestant on my favorite show The Contender.

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Mr. Sandman

Yay! Last night was the first night since I have been here that I had a good night's sleep without the help of Tylenol PM or exorbitant amounts of alcohol! That is good stuff perhaps I am finally settling into life here?? Scary thought.

Thank goodness that I was able to rest as I had to wake up pretty early to take a long run in preparation for the 10K which is only 2 weeks away. Oh god I hope I can finish! Not only was the thought of totally embarrassing myself during the race an inspiration to keep going but tonight after work I am going shopping for a wetsuit. Yes you read that right...a wetsuit! HF's boyfriend, who is a big diver, is coming along to help us with the purchase for our diving trip which is in 3 weeks! The thought of shoving my fat ass into a tight body suit under florescent lighting is not sitting too well with me (either are the 3 cookies I just ate...stress eating!). I am hoping that I can get a bright green suit so sharks will not mistake me for a plump seal...think it maybe too warm here for seals..so a plump something else that they eat and take a big bite out of me. This shopping experience should be pretty comical but don't expect pictures of the fiasco!

I do have another piece of good news, the cleaning lady does not have a black eye...thank god!

Monday, October 8, 2007

Not Easily Identifiable

Humm..things have not really changed too much!! I am referring to my post dated July 8 titled Scenes from the Pantry (sorry don’t know how to do that fancy link to the post thing). This incident took place very early on in my Singapore adventure and I am sorry to say…I still can not tell them apart. Wait,let me clarify something…I can tell actual people apart just not whether someone is Chinese, Japanese (dirty knees…I digress), Korean etc and in addition to Asian’s being a problem I have realized that I am actually just pitiful when it comes to telling where any person originates from.

There are certain accents that are pretty easy Australian for instance…got that one down! English accent is pretty straight forward for the most part except that two of my closest friends here are English and they have both mentioned to me that a third friend SC’s accent is pretty as they say “common” I think that translates to someone from the wrong side of the tracks. I have tried to identify the difference in her accent for myself and just can’t hear it. I am sure they would adamantly argue this point if they heard me say this.

Ok moving on…so I, once again, misidentified the origins of another. This time….PADDY. I have to say that I really don’t hold my ignorance 100% responsible for this one. Note #1 I was pretty loaded when we met (readers…are you surprised??), Note #2,3,4 his name is Patrick, we met in an Irish pub and then he signed an email Paddy…I basically thought I was heading for a date with a leprechaun! What would you think????

So I arrive to dinner, sit down and start my standard first date conversation. As soon as he spoke I was like "oh no got it wrong again!!" Totally not Irish. I detected what I thought was a French accept but nope wrong again…Swiss! but to my credit..french swiss! Ugg times like these make me long for the easily identifiable Brooklyn, Staten Island and North Jersey accents!

It will take me quite a bit longer to grasp all the different cultures and accents but its going fun trying!

On other note, while I am typing this, the office cleaning lady just came to wipe down my desk. Those who have worked with me knows the “organized chaos” that is my desk so I was trying to clear away some of the mess. I went to put my holepuncher thing into my overhead cabinet which I always forget opens out instead of sliding up and nailed her in the head…really hard!!!! I cold almost see the birdies circling her head!! I honestly think she almost cried! I feel so bad!! I seriously will not be surprised if she comes in with a black eye tomorrow. This is NOT good for business!

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

New Addition


There is a new addition to the Bod's family (my brothers Chris' family)..her name is Sophie and she is a 8 week old boxer puppy. Sorry my inbox was full and I had to delete the pictures I had of her.

The puppy was a surprise for the three kids and as expected Abby and Aidan are so excited and can not get enough of the new addition. Christian (the youngest and pictured) on the other hand has not quite gotten used to Sophie. Here is a excerpt from an email I received from my sister-in-law this morning.

Christian is a little jealous and afraid because every time Christian runs, Sophie thinks he is playing and Christian screams as if a wild animal is chasing him. Today, when I was dressing the boys for school, Christian took his diaper off with everything else and was naked with the diaper in his hand and Sophie tried to grab it and Christian screamed and ran around the house nudy betutti.

How cute is that...I could only imagine!




Monday, October 1, 2007

Back to Business

Hello:

Can not believe I am sitting at the airport again..heading back to Singapore. It has been an amazing visit and I am taking bets with myself to see if I am actually going to board the plane.

Coming back and being able to pick up with friends right where we left off in June without skipping a beat really makes me realize how special and deep my friendships run. I am one lucky girl. That being said, a lot has changed in the last 3 months with is a bit scary (for me) but really good for those going through the changes Jack, Ri, Jeff I am talking about you! I am so proud of each of you and know that the things you are embarking on will make you so happy which is all I want for my friends!

I want to send a really special thank you along with a hung and kiss to Mel, Kitty and Gary. For hosting some great parties with great food. I thank you but my waistline certainly does not!

Ok I better board I love you all. My liver is about the only part of my excited to get back!

XOXOXOXOXOXOOX

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Special Needs

Ok this is weird...blogging in NYC that is. Its just not the same when I can pick up the phone to call, see you at the bar or simply walk into your offices but I am going to give it go anyway because I have to tell you about an observation I made this morning.

I was in the shower at the hotel when I realized that I was in a handicap room. You would think I would have been tipped off a bit sooner by the roll-in shower, the two peep holes on the door (one loser for the wheelchair bound) or the big stainless steel bars by the toilet but nope all lost on me until now (almost a week later). Ok this may not sound like a big deal to you but I also just realized that I was in a handicap room in Hong Kong as well. That is two business trips...two handicap rooms! Now this has got me thinking " Did I mistakenly check the handicap box on my corporate traveler profile?? or do I look the type that has a fetish for the handicapped?? Who knows but I have to believe there is more to this than coincidence!!!

Alright gotta go my last Indian is leaving and I think I am going to take a power nap in my handicap room.


JB

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

So Much to Say...

Hello everyone...sorry I have been so out of touch! Things at work have gone completly crazy..I long for the days when I was complaining I didn't have enough to do. Where am I right now?? I am standing at a free internet terminal waiting for my flight to Japan enroute to my final destination NEW YORK!!! I CAN NOT wait to see everyone. There is one thing I must say before I go any further..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JACKIE! Hope you are having a fab day.

The is a story from the last couple of days that I would like to share...Ijust completed my first conference here and thankfully it went well. During the first morning I realized that, like ther conferences I have worked on, not one person was sitting in the front row. It kind of made me laugh that this practice wasn't an American thing. I made a comment to the (local) secretary that was helpng me out that I thought it was funny that no matter where you go, nobody wants to sit in the front to which she replied...well its the 7th month of the chinese calender. I thought to myself is that supposed to mean something??? It was like she read my thoughts since the next thing out of her mouth was its the month of ghosts..the front row is reserved for the spirits... I thought she was kidding but I looked it up and its true..

There were ghosts at my conference...

Anyway,,,boarding gotta run. SEE YOU SOON!XOXOXOXOXOX

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

I feel the earth move under my feet....

Just experienced my first earthquake. I am still at the office and I felt really weird and dizzy which I thought was just me then my screen started to shake and the boxes next to me...next thing an announcement came on saying they were investigating the tremors....

Good times!

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Gold Class

I have experienced one of my new favorite things….going to the movies GOLD CLASS! I have heard that this type of service existed in other cities besides Singapore but have never come across it in NYC or any other city for that matter.

Gold Class is the first class of the cinema. The tickets are $25 Sing dollars (about $15 US), once you purchase the ticket you are escorted to a waiting lounge with a bar and a pretty gourmet menu where you wait for the theater to open. Once the theater doors do open, you are escorted into a plush theater for about 30 people with these huge reclining chairs that almost turn into beds equipped with blankets. Good right well here’s the best part every two seats are equipped with a call button to order food, candy, popcorn and BOOZE!! I thought the service throughout the movie would become annoying but those slick servers slipped in and out delivering all sorts of goodies with not the slightest interruption. I had one hand on a glass of red wine and the other in some peanut M&M’s throughout the whole movie!!

One another note, the movie sucked (No Reservations) but the experience outweighed the suckiness.

I’m hooked…once you go gold you never go back!

Thursday, September 6, 2007

Sighting

I had to rush right in and write about what I just spotted on my way to work...now this I wish I took a photo of...an Indian midget rocking a full on mullet in a jumpsuit!!!

Now that is something you don't see everyday.

More later.....

Chinese Double

One observation that I have made over the past three months is that a lot of people I know has a Chinese double. Seriously! I have found myself on many occasions walking down the street and saying that woman looks like my Aunt Sissy if she was Chinese or that is a total Chinese Henry Winkler. In my experience this has been mostly limited to woman (except the fonz) and now that I think about it woman in my family, my aunt sissy, my mother and my nana all have Chinese doubles (sorry Mel haven't spotted you yet)…perhaps there is something I should know??

It is really strange though and has become a little game I play when I’m out and about…SPOT THE DOUBLE. I am so mad at myself for not writing about this sooner as I know there have been so many and in the minutes I allow myself to blog I can not think of them!!

What brings me to writing about this today is that I had a game of SPOT THE DOUBLE in a meeting ….this girl was a total Chinese Molly Ringwald.

Can’t wait to spot my double….the Chinese JenniB

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

??? Update

Just read this on page 6...can this be the trio??

Also in Hawaii were Leonardo DiCaprio and Lukas Haas, who celebrated Tobey Maguire's marriage to Jen Meyer.

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Welcome Fall and ??

Hey everyone.

I hope you had a great long weekend and bid the summer a fond farewell. I am very jealous of bidding the summer farewell as Fall is my favorite time of year in NYC. I love breaking out the sweaters and light jackets and just ejoying the weather and the weekends (especially in Cobble Hill). sniffle, sniffle. Please tell me me what you did to ring in the new season.

So over breakfast this morning I ran across this blind item on page 6 and for the life of me can not figure out who they are referring to. I am usually quite good at solving these but this one I am stumped. Help!!

WHICH Hollywood trio of friends is in trouble? One is on crack, one's on smack, and the other cheats so much on his wife that he single-handedly is supporting several hookers.

Thursday, August 30, 2007

Everybody's leaving.....

TGIF…I am ready to blow the 5pm, well here it’s more like the 7-8pm whistle [music playing…You know you make me want to SHOUT!!] I miss Z100’s 5 o’clock whistle! Anyway after a week of very late night conference calls and sobriety (not one drop people) I am ready to get the weekend started. That being said, it is the beginning of a bittersweet one.

First of all, today is the temp’s last day. Let me tell you he is going to make some lady very happy one day. Today I come back from getting my lunch and there is a card and a bookmark with my name on it (don’t really understand that one) from him. The card is kind of mushy about friendship (which is strange) and this is what he wrote:

Hi Jennifer! Time just flies! You have been the biggest blessing to me during my time here! Your warm smile and random comments (love that!) never fail to brighten my day. Glad to have met a friend like you. May God continue to bless your time here abundantly! Keep in Touch JL.

Ok seriously, that made me cry and sounds like something I would say when I am drunk (minus the God part of course). Anyway..how cute is the temp!!!

So tonight I am off to goodbye drinks for my friend MK who after seven years here is heading back to NYC. NYC peeps, you will meet him. He’s a cool guy (and cute).

Tomorrow night is goodbye drinks for my friend SF. This one I am super, super sad about!! He is my Singapore gay boyfriend and he is moving back to London. Tomorrow will be very sad and I am sure messy seeing that he loves wine just as much as I do. I will be certain to take lots of pics since the itinerary is taking us to two of my favorite rooftop bars which are beautiful.

Anyway that’s about it! Have a great long weekend!

XOXO JB

MMMM...Mooncakes!

I experienced another first today…mooncake! No its not that freezed dried stuff that astronauts eat and you get on your school trips to the Smithsonian. These delicious little cakes come around once a year to celebrate the Mid-Autumn festival here in Asia. All I can say is yum and thank god they only come around once a year.
There are two versions, the traditional and the non-traditional and both come in many different flavors. I had the non-traditional version snow-skin (pastel almost translucent sugary skin) filled with champagne truffle and chocolate ganache (I gained 5 lbs just typing that). The traditional version (pictured) is a pastry outside and have egg yokes as the center…(the truffle acted as the egg yolk in my version). It was really good but so super sweet its out of control.

By the time I got back to my desk, as you can imagine, I was hating myself for sampling the mooncake so I decided to learn why these little treats taunt us and what the Mid-Autumn Festival is all about.

A long time ago, according to a famous Chinese legend, the earth had ten suns circling it, each taking its turn to illuminate and warm it. One day, all ten suns appeared together, and the combined heat resulted in a terrible drought. To save the world from imminent destruction, China’s famous and able archer, Hou Yi, shot down nine of the suns. He became the hero and the Emperor presented him with the most beautiful woman in the land, Chang Er, to whom he married. The Emperor also rewarded him with a magic pill containing the elixir of immortality.

The curious Chang Er discovered the pill and consumed it in her husband’s absence. She transformed into a fairy and drifted to the moon, leaving the grief-stricken Hou Yi behind. His longing for Chang Er so touched the heart of the deities that they allow the couple to meet on the fifteenth day of each month in the lunar calendar. Thus, the Mid-Autum Festival is celebrated on this day each year (this year ~ September 25) As the full moon is round in shape and the word circle is synonymous with the word unity in Chinese, the Mid-Autum Festival is heralded as a time of harmony and blissful family reunions.

Humm…blissful family (and friends) reunions….September 25…I’ll certainly be celebrating since I’ll be BACK IN NYC…enjoying blissful reunions!!

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

What's the meanest thing...

I was having dinner with PH the other night and we were talking about a new friend (actually a JB love interest) that was out with us the previous night. I described this new friend as having no personality and PH’s reaction to that statement was “that is the meanest thing you can say about someone…that they have no personality”. Side note: I am really not kidding though this guy has a big fat ZERO in the personality dept. I tried numerous different conversation topics: work, movies, drinking, sports, travel and there was just no enthusiasm, no funny come backs, nothing interesting at all and I am not the only one who noticed it. Some other comments:

HF: Cute but his lack of personality makes him unattractive (ouch)
VB: BORING!
PH: Dull
SD: thought he was just shy but I just think he is boring.

Oh I may want to let you know even after all that I ended up kissing him. I have to believe it was only because I was tired of TRYING to make conversation..shame since he is quite cute!

Ok back to the subject of the post, so I thought about PH’s reaction to my zero personality comment and it being the meanest thing you can say about someone and I have to disagree (actually think HF’s was worse). After much thought which included, ugly, lazy, cheap, mean...handsdown I think its stupid. I just think that is awful and not easy to bounce back from. Stupid is something that is not easily changed about ones self.

Thoughts?

You have got to be kidding me...

Sometimes my life really stinks! I noticed a couple of weeks ago a new posting in the pantry "New Signapore Associates" and of course included on this new posting....photos.




Beautiful huh?? Not only do I look like I just recently killed someone, it looks like chances are I ate them too I look so bloated. The strange thing is I have no idea where this picture came from. Its not my ID pic but must have been taken as soon as I got here since my hair is much shorter now (thank god). Also there is the strange shine on my head like I am being interrogated.

Seeing that the two guys also pictured in the flyer work on my floor, I was pretty certain that this horrible, horrible picture was not being seen on other floors and I thought "hey they see me everyday so my fellow 18th floor staffers know that is a terrible pic" I pretty much forgot about it until Friday. I come back from lunch to this emaill from my good friend Katherine:


To: JennB
From: KH (16th floor)
Subject is: Photo in Pantry

[my heart skipped a beat...it can't be]
open email
Hey do you know that your picture is posted in the pantry on the 16th floor...
My response
Oh dear! I thought is was only on 18th. Isn't it horrible?
KH Response
HAHAHA yeah its right on the trading floor. It is pretty bad
In my head TRADING FLOOR!!!!

Me typing furiously to HF on the 15th floor
HF can you do me a favor and go to your pantry....is there a picture of me in there?
The seconds seemed like hours for her response.
HF response
HAHAHAHAHAHA...yup..HHAHAHAHAHAHA


I don't know anyone on 17 but pretty sure I am there too. Vain I know but did you look at the pic?? You'll notice it says July - August only a couple more days left!


Oh sorry for the poor quality of the photo but I had to rush a take it before anyone came in!

Friday, August 24, 2007

Did you know (I didn't)

This is the first of a series of posts titled "Did you Know (I didn't)" where I will highlight some new things I have learned about the region I now call home. I will also include my opinion/reaction to the new bit of info.

So my first fact is:

Did you know that it is a tradition in Indonesia to lessen prison sentences on public holidays?

I learned about this as Indonesia's Independence day just passed and two of the Bali bombers' sentences were reduced as a result of this tradition.

I say F that tradition...its stupid.

Have a wonderful weekend.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Just Like Prince...

Notice anything different about the blog today???

I have (well actually webmaster Jeff) replaced my “I’m drunk and think I’m sexy smile” picture with the this symbol ----->

My blog personality is now merely known as a symbol much like Prince (used to be).

Those of you who have seen me in a bathing suit or naked will recognize this symbol as the one I have on my back which means love in Chinese. So there you have the new me Love..… How hippy is that?? I hope you like it.

I was actually getting sick of looking at myself (did JenniB really just say that???)

Signed,

This sexy Motherf*****! (since some of my readers take offence to the blog name not knowing it’s from a song….that signature is from a Prince song)

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Belated Weekend Review

After the horrible week I had last week, I was ready to get the weekend started! Friday night SD and SF has a vodka themed BBQ at our complex. A lot of BBQ items were eaten and vodkas drinks drank which resulted in SD and me going for a swim..fully clothed.
Good times!

I decided to have a mellow Saturday since PH and I planned on doing a 3.5 hour hike in the jungle on Sunday. Sunday morning we headed off to MacRichie Reservoir for our adventure. I picked up PH in a cab and he was equipped with a backpack filled with water, sunscreen and extra socks??? I was impressed as I just had my phone and a camera. His days as a youth group camp counselor were really paying off for me.

After only a 15 minute/$7.00 cab ride outside of the city, I was pretty skeptical about this actually being a jungle and was kicking myself for not exercising in the morning seeing that it appeared quite flat. About 10 minutes into the hike I was sweating like a pig so regrets of no morning exercise were out the window.

As we ventured further in I was not disappointed. It was really beautiful. The highlight of the hike is a long suspension bridge. Just as we were about to walk on I was greeted by our new friend to which I started yelling..it’s a monkey!..its a monkey!

When we got to the other side of the bridge we entered this really creepy area. All you could hear were the trees swishing and limbs breaking but could not make out where it was all coming from until your eyes adjusted and you make out hundreds of eyes staring back at you…more monkeys! this time little ones. They were so cute but as the same time reminded me of those creepy flying monkeys in the Wizard of Oz.

We did manage to see a snake, a croc and this big lizard.

All in all it was great first time jungle experience.

XO Indiana Jenn!

Monday, August 20, 2007

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MEL!

Everyone please join me in wishing my wonderful sister a very happy brithday!!

Mel, I love you more than anything and wish I was there to help you celebrate!

Love B

Friday, August 17, 2007

The Book

I have always toyed with the idea writing a book not because of the numerous horrible date stories, incidents with homeless people or the various things that seem to only happen to me but because I like to think of what I would actually call it. I considered stealing the wonderful Judy Blume title Blubber because I am obsessed with weight and its just a funny word, I’ve have been considering “Off to a Rocky Start” since I have realized that most of my posts and quite frankly most of everything in my life gets off to a rocky start but I think I will go back to my favorite which I have actually gone as far as to design the cover. The title…Single Girl at the Couple’s Table (see below)



I am pretty sure you can pick me out…yup that’s me amid all the cuddly couples. I vividly remember when that picture was taken…all of the sudden the photographer’s lens appears at the end of the table and the girls to left (singing…to the left to the left, I digress) and to my right automatically cling to their BF’s and leave me in single girls no-mans land (literally). I almost took that wine glass in front of me and held it to my face so at least I was cuddling with something. Come to think of it wine does act as my confidant, protector and all around best friend sometimes..humm.. You know what though, I got to spend the rest of that weekend sleeping in the same bed as Chena (shout out) so there all you couples…who’s jealous now.

Back to the book, I have even come up with some of the chapters of Single Girl.. there will be no explanation to the titles

Chapter 1
Tales of the 1am vacuum

Chapter 2 & 3
Jungle Fever

Chapter 4
Sex, Drugs and House Music ( and Caesar)

Chapter 5
Good Bye JC…Hello BK

Chapter 6 -25
Work in progress

Chapter 25
Getting to know you…happiness

Chapter 26
你好新加坡 (Hello Singapore)

And so on and so on……

So there you have it. Not that this will ever been written as this is as creative as I get (and I’m lazy) but I did buy a cat because I liked the name Mandu (Kat-Mandu) so hey, you never know.

Peace out and have a good weekend.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

BAD MOOD

I seriously hate people and and everything that people do. I hate:

* When people can't pronounce my name and then call me Miss Jennifer
* I hate sales people
* I hate two-faced people
* I hate waiting
* I hate cookie...wait I love cookies but I hate how I feel after eating said cookies...3 today
* I hate missing my friend/family
* I hate accents
* I hate stupid cell phone rings
* I hate when people do not say they are sorry when they bump into you

If you can't tell I am in a horrible/hateful mood today but this venting has made me feel at least a little better... thanks!

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Sorry, I like Boys..

Those were the words coming out of my mouth just as you were getting to work yesterday morning (9:00pm my time last night). That was about the time I was leaving the gym and “ran into” the woman that registered me for my membership. I put ran into in quotes because she is always everywhere I go at the gym..waving to me in class, behind the check-in counter when I arrive. I honestly didn’t think anything of her ability to be everywhere I am and chalked it up to her feeling sorry for saying I had too much fat when I joined (yup she’s the one!) Not even the $50 gift certificate to the steak place around the corner (I can hear you all laughing at that one) tipped me off to her intentions, well..… she asked me out last night!! SERIOUSLY and that was my response “Sorry I like boys.” I was so flustered I didn’t know what to say…I just laughed and out popped those words. She was cool about the whole thing but I have so many thoughts going through my head. She must have been pretty confident that I was going to accept…A) Am I too manly in the weight lifting classes B) was I flirting and didn’t know it…can’t be it she’s not even cute C) Maybe she just wanted to be my friend and now I look like a total conceited loser…nope..I don’t think I was mistaken. I guess I will know soon enough seeing that I will be at the gym tonight. If I have an “accident” on the treadmill you know what happened.

Perhaps I will go buy some super fly gym clothes after work today……oh wait last time I did that someone (a homeless man) called me a fat ass and I was depressed for weeks.

Only me!

Monday, August 13, 2007

Are you kidding me??

My favorite lunch past time is to catch up on my celebrity gossip and I come along this tidbit on Page Six today:

WITH eight marriages under his belt and nine kids by five of those wives, Mickey Rooney says he's finally learned how to make a relationship work.

Eight marriages?????? I can't even find one person to like....what gives???

Sunday, August 12, 2007

Monday, Monday

I hope everyone was able to enjoy their weekend even though I am sure some of you experienced some restless nights thinking..”humm..I wonder why JB has not posted in a couple of days??” “Humm..I wonder how Shaggy was?” “Humm…I wonder what the National Day celebration was like?” Well I am sorry about that but am about to answer all your questions is a very brief wrap-up of the last couple of days in my life.

No post: Work has all of the sudden become so crazy busy which is a good thing. To add an insult to the increasing workload, I am dealing quite a bit with India and lets just say…a lot is lost in translation. Each time I get off the phone I am seriously sweating the conversations are so difficult.

Singfest (Shaggy): Let me tell you this was one of the best concerts I have ever been to. When I think of outdoor music concert, I think of a huge open field where you are packed in body to body and can barley make out the people on the stage, however, I did not take into consideration the fact that I was in Singapore and everything is on a much smaller scale…the setting was beautiful. Think concerts in Central Park but much smaller.

As most things in my life, this night got off to a rocky start. It is not an exciting story so I will spare you the details but I ended up missing Shaggy’s performance. I arrived right after he finished and everyone was raving about his performance…I was like..they have to be joking but apparently he rocked. All was not lost though as he sang All through the Night and Girls Just Wanna have fun with Cyndi Lauper. I witnessed it myself….Shaggy rocked. Cyndi lets just say amazing and I want to be her when I grow up. Sugar Ray….DAMN!! Mark McGrath is H-O-T!!!! I shimmied up to the front row for their performance and got some good pics. He is so hot but when he had his sunglasses he looking amazingly just like Johnny Drama from Entourage. The Pet Shop boys ended the night (2am). They had the best back-up dancers I have ever seen.

Cyndi
Cyndi & ShaggyPet Shop Boys

National Day: Nothing really special. I did go to my friend’s office party where I heard a familiar accent and turned around to see a couple that were obviously from NY. I was like oh I have to go introduce myself and bond over all the things we miss about NYC. I am totally stereotyping here but I am pretty sure this guy grew up in Bayridge or SI. So before I can make my move, the fire works started at which point I hear VERY LOUDLY…Hey-oh! Yo this is just like Macys fireworks.[please read that sentence with the stereotypical NY accent). I just had to laugh to myself.

Weekend: Had a wonderful Indian dinner with a bunch of friends and then…..2 for 1 lychee martinis…..enough said…..

Friday, August 10, 2007

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

It Wasn't Me...

I am so excited every minute seems an eternity today…why you ask??? Well tonight I am dusting off my dancing shoes, breaking out the concert t-shirts and heading over to Fort Canning park for Singapore’s one and only outdoor music festival..SingFest. Tonight’s line up is a good one with performances by Cyndi Lauper (based on Jeff’s experience she will not disappoint) The Pet Shop Boys… annnnddddd…wait for it, wait for it……SHAGGY. Yup…the incomparable Shaggy will be performing his classic hit..It Wasn’t me…and any other craptacular “hit” he may have had. I will take a picture of my excitement when I hear the first twang of whatever instrument is played in that song to share with you. I can just imagine your excitement. To make the evening even better, Thursday is a holiday so I can really let loose (did I just type that??? I really am a loser).
Actually I am going to make this a double header post since I will be out of the office on Thursday soo..time for some learning.

Tomorrow is National Day here in Singapore so I thought it would be a good idea to see what exactly I am celebrating other than a day off.

The National Day in Singapore is observed every year on the 9th of August since the time Singapore gained her independence from Malaysia in the year 1965. It was on this day that Singapore withdrew itself from the Federation of Malaysia and became a republic a month later. The National Day is celebrated by all people to venerate Singapore's independence.
The National Day of Singapore is celebrated with a national Day Parade. This Parade on Singapore National Day has become the grandest national event in Singapore. The celebrations of the national day of Singapore include an amazing exhibit of fireworks that marks the pinnacle of the parade when the sky becomes a canvas of colors. It is accompanied by military parades, colorful demonstrations of different cultural groups, amazing stunts by the Singapore Armed Forces parachutists and the melodious choirs by the school children.
The Singaporeans dress themselves up in the patriotic colors of red and white. There are also a number of patriotic songs composed for the national day in Singapore such as 'Stand up for Singapore', 'Count on me Singapore', etc.


The National day in Singapore is thus celebrated with a great pomp and splendor and ensures an entertaining occasion of music, dance, colors and fireworks galore.

Let me tell you they really do take this celebration seriously. The armed forces have been practicing their amazing stunts referenced above for the past month which has them flying over my complex each Sunday at 3pm. The stunts…they are amazing. Also, every corner of this city is draped in the Singapore flag. How am going to celebrate??? I am going to a party where I will really show how patriotic I am by drinking lots and lots of RED (the nations color) wine an most likly wearing some wine by the end of the night.

[singing]….how could I forget I had given her the extra key…it wasn’t me….

The Resembalance is Uncanny (ACTION!)


This is the title of a movie that will never be made. It is the story of a group of friends in New York/New Jersey/Pennsylvania. I am guessing it falls into the romantic comedy genre.

The cast of characters is as follows:

Heather…….Jessica Biel (Nipsy was the first choice but died before production began)
Jeff…… Freddie Prinze Jr.
Seth…..Daniel Day Lewis
Kelly..Peppermint Patty (its animated)
Adam…….Matt Leblanc
Jackie….Jewel (its also a musical)
JDizzle….Katie Holmes
Beeps….Tobey McGuire
Rita….Courtney Cox
Mel….Liza Manelli
Kitty… Lindsey Lohan (when she was not such a mess and had red hair)
Cyndi…….Kyra Sedgewick
Manley “T-Bone”…Any surviving cast member of Animal House
And
Playing the roles of Mandu, Kiki & Mame….Timmy from Passions (R.I.P..fantasy sequence)

This is what I think about when I can’t sleep.

Feel free to add or change characters

Monday, August 6, 2007

Do I have a problem???

What’s up!

I am back and completely relaxed from my weekend in Phuket…I know, I know…not what you expected to hear..you were expecting crazy stories of drunken mayhem, the ping pong ball trick and all sorts of debauchery but no, it was pure relaxation.

I knew that a mellow weekend was in store when on my way to the airport KH decided to tell me that SC does not drink…(Inside my head (IH)…record scratch…..WHAT??????????????? who does not drink…turn this car around) but does not mind when people drink around her (IH: ok..humm wonder why??? Betty Ford alum?? Just a freak??..I am going to get drunk and ask…vacation back on track)

We got to the villa around 7:00pm and let me tell you this place did not disappoint. It was pretty sick….(IHCould I afford a place like this with all the money I would save by not drinking?? For oh but a brief second sobriety sounded good…F THAT!). After a tour of the place SC suggested we sit by the pool for a “drink” to chat before dinner (IH: Now that’s what I am talking about) SC: water or diet coke (IH: Oh for the love of god! Think about your guests man!!)

We headed to dinner and I managed to have 2 glasses of wine but not without feeling like I was ordering a needle full of heroin each time I flagged down the waiter (KH had only one drink). Just to clarify though these feeling were totally brought upon myself and by no means did she/they make me feel strange about drinking. I, on the other hand, was seeing a side of myself that I never noticed before because most of my friends enjoy the drink just as much as I do. I felt kind of like I had a problem....did I really need to drink to have a good time??? Does fun always include drinking?? I felt like I was having a major "after school special" dilemma. F that I’m fine..I am on vacation!

My drinking self conscienceness subsided and by Saturday night’s dinner I was up to 3 glasses of vino (to my surprise 3 glasses actually make you tipsy when you drink slowly like they are supposed to) and embarked on some tipsy bathing suit shopping which had me walking around the shop with just a bikini and heels. Aww…liquid confidence…is there anything better??

I will not bore you with all the relaxing details of the weekend…the most amazing food, beach, pool, massage…but all in all it was a great trip. Thailand is an amazing spot and can not wait to get back there again.

I don't have a problem right??

XO

Friday, August 3, 2007

Thanks for Playing

Thanks to Kitty, Jeff, JDizzle and Kelly for your participation in the first edition of Coffee Time Quiz… All answers receive a big ole BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ….

WHAMMY!

God I loved that show especially when Whammy did the moonwalk.

The correct answer is (drumroll)…..Phuket, Thailand. I am headed out tonight for a quick weekend trip with my friend Katherine. One of her friends just purchased a villa in Phuket and what better housewarming gift than a visit from us…who wouldn’t love that???? Anyway, I have no expectations for the trip as long as my fat ass in parked in the sand and a cocktail is in my hand.

Hope everyone has a great weekend.

XO JB

Thursday, August 2, 2007

Friend Dating

I mentioned friend dating in one of my previous posts so I thought now would be a good time to elaborate.

Having lived in the either NY or NJ my whole life, there has never been a time where I didn’t have a solid circle of friends or family to hang with. There are some people that have been my friends for a very long time and then some new friends who just effortlessly slipped into my exhisting circle. Regardless, I was lucky enough to have that aspect of my life not be a problem or stressful. Until now…..I stepped off the plane ALONE!! No Jeff, Seth, Mel, Jackie, Kelly….. to call for a glass or wine or plate of cheese..just me. This was empowering and f’ing scary at the same time.

Little did I know I was about to enter the world of friend dating…..

Friend dating is very similar to blind dating but the chance of getting lucky at the end of the night are even less. In most friend dating cases you hear from a friend who has a friend; who has a cousin; who’s brother’s college roommate is now living in Singapore…what a coincidence! you guys should meet up (would that really happen in NYC)!!!! When you are dealing with nothing…this sounds like a great option so the emails begin and the “date” (applies to guys and girls) is set and the date planning begins:

Outfit: Can’t be too dressy or too casual…always appear more put together yet more relaxed then your potential “friend”
Venue: If meeting a guy…let him choose since that is what you do when you date right??? Meeting girl: let her choose because chances are she has been here longer and knows more places.
Actual Date: Butterflies in stomach as get to venue. Why I ask myself??? You sit, you drink, compare stories all the while thinking in the back of your mind “Could I really see myself having fun with this person” Could I get drunk, put on a schoolgirl outfit, a wig and buy beer at the corner store…oh I miss Brooklyn!
Post Date: You sit and wait for contact or you sit and think when should I make contact (this is actually a non issue if you did not feel a connection....sound familiar….umm hello.…DATING!) because of course you don’t want to seem too anxious.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME???? FRIENDS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE THE EASY PART OF MY LIFE!!!

Actually this scenario (roommate of someone you really don’t even know) is really not the stressful one. The stressful one is the “meeting of friends of someone you already know and like but you can’t only have them as a friend meeting” This one is stressful! If they don’t like you they can talk smack to someone you already like OR you are stuck depending on just one person…DRAMA. Much of the date plays out the same until the end…if business cards are exchanged the date was successful and chances are it’s the start of some boozie suzie nights!!!

Luckily my friend dating has proved a lot more successful than real dating! I have yet to have someone order lobster and make me pay, take “it” out on my doorstep, or wear a full flowy linen suit with mandels (most of you get these references). Hey at least I am good at one of them.

So there you have it, friend dating and a little honest glimpse into my life…insecurities and all.

Tune in tomorrow for the answer to Coffee Quiz!