The Package

The longer I am here, the more little things seem to get on my nerves. One thing that has really started to bug me is that there is a package for every service you can image, nails, waxing, salad bars, coffee..everything! By package I mean like you pay $500 up front for a let’s say…manicures. I don’t know what I am doing tomorrow much less if I’ll even be around for $500 worth of manicures so why would I pay up front!! The mere existence of these packages is really not what bothers me but the fact that they are pushed on you everywhere…”You got Package?” “You want package?” “Package good!” to which I vehemently respond “no…no thanks no package!” and then they roll their eyes and ring up my order. I have considered making a shirt with the words NO PACKAGE written across but thought that may look like I am a recent transsexual (get it..no package heheh).

Ok so I think you got the idea that I am not a regular package purchaser but I had decided to break my own rule and purchase a 20 class package at the new yoga studio near work since the yoga classes offered at my gym stink. So I sit down with the sales lady and the following ensues:

Me: Hi, I would like to buy a 20 class package please
Saleslady: You want 3 month package…sign here
Me: No, I don’t want 3 month package, just the 20 classes
Saleslady: 3 month better for you.
Me: No, not really since I travel quite a bit and I am heading back to NY for the holidays so I would be wasting a couple weeks of the 3 month package. Plus I belong to another gym so will only be here once a week. (why am I justifying myself to this lady?).
Saleslady: You can suspend the 3 month membership when you go away for $42
Me: (now I am starting to lose it a little bit) why would I want to pay an additional $42 when all I want is the 20 classes?????
Saleslady: It work better for you.
Me: (voice raised) no really it doesn’t! I then outline on a piece of paper the benefits of me just doing the 20 class package
Saleslady: Ok you get the 20 classes. Can I have your work permit and your credit card?
Me: here you go. I couldn’t believe how hard that was!!
Saleslady: Oh! we have the same birthday!….but I am so much younger than you. I am only 25.
Me: OH NO SHE DIDN’T!! “oh….that’s nice 25’s a good age (good one Jenn…good come back)
Saleslady: How long have you been here?
Me: (now my patience is totally gone) 5 months!
Saleslady: (not so discreetly) looks at my finger…are you here with someone?
Me: Nope I am here by myself.
Saleslady: (Look of totally pity on her face) “Oh I am so sorry”
Me: Of all the clever things I have thought to say in response to this and the age incident after I left this is what I came up with “I have lots of friends!” Who says that??

After signing for the 20 class package I collected my “free” water bottle and stormed off leaving all the positive energy I had from my yoga class behind!

Serenity Now!