Friday, August 14, 2009


So I find myself in India once again for business actually this is going to be happening a lot as this is now my responsibility. Of all the places that I have travelling this is by far the most foreign. It is just different – very different – I am not saying all in a bad way just different. Here are my “favorite” experiences of the three days I have been here

- The pantless and underwear less little boy sleeping face and cheek down on the pavement right outside of my office building. This sounds like a sad affair but from what I can tell he was not homeless as his family were sitting beside him laughing and sharing a coffee.
- My first meeting with a new member of my team where she kept closing her eyes and rubbing her stomach. I finally said are you ok? To which she replied I am having stomach problem and let out a HUGE burp about 3 minutes later.
- The same member of the team: everytime I speak to her she closes her eyes like she is really tired by all the work she has to do!! Please…get over yourself.
- I almost got hit by a bus…NO SERIOUSLY I WAS ALMOST HIT BY A BUS…that was not fun
- The woman in the bathroom threading her beard…
- The banker who yelled at me to change the policy which says we can not pay for guest travel….hey if you think I have that much “power” you are sadly mistaken
- Aww…the rooftop bar at the hotel….it should have been named Calgon!
- The nice cab driver who let me ride for free as I didn’t have change
- The endless bag opening, metal detector entering, bomb sniffing, bomb checking mirrors when entering any office building, hotel, restaurant...hey this is a good thing!!

All that and I still have a ride and wait at the airport.

Thursday, August 6, 2009


RIP John Hughes.

You have brought many smiles to my face and helped pass countless Saturdays as surely one of your movies played on channel 11.

I am really hoping for a movies marathon this weekend!!!

Thursday, July 30, 2009

The American Tourist (TAT)

So I recently returned from a fab-u-lous trip Europe – South of France and Italian Rivera to be exact and it was really awesome.

The trip started in a little French village whose main attraction is Mount Ventoux. For those of you (I didn’t) who do not know, this is the last climbing stage of this year’s Tour de France…and you guessed it Action Jackson Harvey had the two of us riding up the damn thing…ladies and far the hardest thing I have ever done EVER. I didn’t make it to the top as I basically cried, had a heart attack and crapped my pant during the 16 k I did finish!! Luckily for me at 16k there was a bar/restaurant where I managed to get all hopped up on energy drinks waiting for Phil to finish and the ride down…by far the scariest thing I have ever done!!! All was forgiven/forgotten when we finally arrived back at the village and I consumed 2 pints of beer and an enormous Panini!

The second leg of the trip took us to another little French village to attend a wedding. We stayed in a converted farmhouse located in the middle of a vineyard – can someone say unlimited supply of rose? The wedding was beautiful blah, blah – good times!

Ok from there we went to Monaco, Portofino, Santa Marghertia (Italy), Cinque Terre and Lake Como and here is the reason for this post.

Cinque Terre is actually 5 little villages connected by train or you can hike to each. The hiking was great, views spectacular, water an amazing blue but there was something that was not settling too well with me…what could it be??? Then the voices ring in my head “Y’all want a glass of vino” THE American tourist (TAT). Let me stop and say I am love being American so no I have not moved away and think I am all cool and stuff but there is something really annoying about THE American tourist (PS none of my friends and family would fit into the category of the American tourist). Call it - loud, annoying, arrogant, not trying to fit in to the surrounding cultures!! You just seem to able to pick the TAT out.. maybe it’s just because I am American and I feel a certain embarrassment by said behavior but it really got on my nerves..

Ok so all that being said…take a look at me on vacation….

Yankees cap, hiking boots, red fleece, blue shirt..damn if my shorts were blue I’d be the American flag….

Jenni “TAT” B

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Did you know...

That if you put all the streets in New York in a straight line, they would stretch to Japan??? Well its true.

Thanks Snapple!


So as most of you know Monday was my birthday and this was a big one…. I turned 35 and this has me teetering dangerously on the brink of cougarville.

If you see me looking anything like the above and dating anyone that looks like the above please stage an intervention as soon as possible!!!

Jenni “Linda Hogan may soon be my idol” B

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Total Eclipse of the Heart

Hello all! So today was the longest solar eclipse of the 21st century here in Asia -pretty cool huh?? Actually not really. The weather is pretty bad so you couldn't really get the full effect as the clouds were covering the sun and it has been dark all day. I wish it was the usual cloudless Singapore sky - now that would have been pretty cool.

I did have a giggle this morning as a very nervous, very new Asian reporter (woman) with a lisp was sent to cover the story for CNN. She was stationed in Shanghai amongst a group of nerdy eclipse chasers (who knew they existed???) and unfortunately the weather was not cooperating in Shanghai either. Well they kept going to her for updates and there was really nothing to see. Then the clouds started to move and the sun appeared as she was speaking and you hear "oooooo" from the eclipse chasers. She quickly put on her eclipse glasses (picture 3-d glasses) to take a look and the clouds moved in again. She took off the glasses a bit dejected and started to speak again and two minutes later "ooooooo" she put her glasses back on and sure enough clouds moved in again. Well this pattern went over about 5 more times leaving the anchor even more nervous and lispy.

Boy did it make me laugh!!

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

[no title]

ok so after 9 months of uncertainty I officially know I have a job and what exactly I will be doing so needless to say I am one happy girl. This is the result of a week long trip with my two new bosses (ummm stressful!) and all went very well! I happened to avoid any Bridget Jones' moments - whew!!

So with that out of the way I feel that my writters block may be gone and back to blogging. You see I am actually doing this at work now when I should be thrilled to have a job and working - sooo typical!

During one of the dinners on the trip this America guy was talking about a very successful couple he knew and referred to them at D.I.N.K's (double income no kids) Jeez I had not heard that one in a while which led me to think about my achroynm S.I.N.K (single income no kids) hummm....SINK - not too promising huh??

Love me.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Bad Boys..Bad Boys..Whatcha Gonna Do..

Most of you have seen the pictures on Facebook but if you haven’t (Mel) here are some for your perusal! Needless to say the weekend was pretty wild. It all began at 7:30 am breakfast in the hotel restaurant dressed in our cop uniforms, I was thinking we should have went to a coffee and donut place so we could really get into character but oh well. We arrived at our friend’s Jarad’s apartment so the boys could get into costume and I realize I didn’t have my tickets so I hopped in a cab and sped off back to the hotel, think the uniform came in handy here as the driver was properly speeding.

Finally I reached the stadium and it was time to start the day….with a liter of bloody mary…1 LITER! Believe me I paid for that one the rest of the weekend...the first time I peed (sober) I thought someone opened a jar of tomato sauce in the bathroom..gross I know but I had to give you the visual!

The day ended at about 9:30pm when we got back to the hotel…at midnight I realized I had only eaten one meal (forget the millions of calories of booze consumed) that day so insisted we go on the hunt for food.. picture it me in my running gear (sans bra) walking the streets of Hong Kong searching for nourishment..we finally found our beacon in the night..yes you guessed it the golden arches (so un-jenniB I know). We get in line and order our small feast. As Phil was waiting for the food I yelled..thank god I just went for that long run so I can eat now…wonder if I fooled anyone?? Doubtful.

All and all it was a good weekend but if I hear arrest me officer one more time I will die.

Pippa, Me and Maree

The Girls and the "Girls"

Happy or loaded - you decide

It's 4:20...gotta go!

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Thought Rabbits Were Bad....

Pandemonium breaks out at Taipei Zoo

Taiwan-China relations were dealt a severe setback yesterday when it was found that Taipei Zoo’s “pandas” are not what they seem.

Zookeepers discovered at feeding time yesterday that the two pandas are in fact Wenzhou brown forest bears that had been dyed to create the panda’s distinctive black-and-white appearance.

The Taipei Zoo’s head of ursidae ex-procyonidae care, Connie Liu (劉長春), said she became suspicious when the pandas, Tuan Tuan (團團) and Yuan Yuan (圓圓), began to spend almost all of their waking hours having sex. Pandas are notorious for their low libidos, which make them difficult to breed in captivity.

“Let’s just say Tuan Tuan and Yuan Yuan would tuan yuan at every chance,” said Liu, referring to the combination of the panda’s names, which means “to reunite” in Mandarin. “They would do it doggy-style and every armchair zoologist knows that pandas favor the missionary position — when they do it at all. Their behavior caused chaos. Children screamed and parents became irate.”

Her suspicions were confirmed yesterday when she noticed that the animals’ new hair growth was discolored.

“Their roots began to show,” she said.

A zookeeper who asked to be identified only by his nickname A-diung (阿忠) because he was not authorized to speak with the media said he and his coworkers had long had their doubts, but were discouraged from publicly voicing their concerns by management.

“Whenever the moaning from the panda enclosure gets too loud we gotta go in there and hose ’em down with cold water,” he said. “After a while, parts of the animals’ black-and-white patches started to turn brown.”

He said he alerted senior zoo staff who dismissed his concerns.

“They told me pandas at the zoo in Washington, DC, get lethargic and sometimes lie in their own feces because they can’t tolerate hot weather, so it didn’t surprise them at all that their fur was turning brown since Taipei’s hotter on average than Washington,” he said.

The pandas arrived in Taipei last December as a gift from the Chinese government. The pair were first offered three years ago, but were rejected by then-president Chen Shui-bian (陳水扁). After the Chinese Nationalist Party (KMT) candidate Ma Ying-jeou (馬英九) won the presidential election last May, the pandas were accepted, though critics continue to decry what they see as an attempt by Beijing to bribe Taiwanese with cute, cuddly furballs in lieu of a more meaningful gesture of goodwill such as removing some of the 1,500 missiles China has pointed at Taiwan.

Even the pandas’ most diehard supporters were brokenhearted yesterday. Some angrily compared the subterfuge to last year’s contaminated milk scandal, when melamine that had been added to watered-down milk sickened 300,000 victims across China and led to a recall of diary products in countries including Taiwan.

“First the milk scandal and now this. What are we going to hear next?” said Chang I-jun (張麗君), a Taipei resident.

Chang, who operates a souvenir stand near the zoo’s entrance, added that the scandal would affect sales of her stuffed panda toys, panda T-shirts, panda pens and notepads, remote-controlled pandas on wheels, caps with panda ears on top, panda fans, panda flashlights, panda mugs, panda eyeglass cases, panda face masks, panda slippers, panda wallets and panda purses.

“China certainly owes us an apology,” said Chang.

In a statement released yesterday evening, Chinese foreign ministry spokesman Qin Gang (秦剛) addressed the panda scandal.

“We understand that our compatriots in Taiwan are very upset. We wish to assure them that we have taken steps to address their concerns. We hope that our Taiwanese friends enjoy the gift of two extremely rare Wenzhou brown forest bears,” Qin said.

Thursday, March 26, 2009


Why do shoe repair places always make keys as well? What is the connection here? Hoping someone can enlighten me??

Happy Friday!

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Here I am!

Well I have certainly failed my first 100 days, but at least I didn’t make a special Olympics comment (or have I) Anyway… here I am ready to blog. To sum up the last couple weeks of my life..stress, stress and stress..I have realized that I have been living my life in a state of flux for over a year now..that is no way to live. Word from the company is that we may not know until the week of April 14 – which is perfect as I will be sunning myself in the Maldives….if I get fired at least I will be on vacation. Oh well..what can you do??

So this weekend I am heading to Hong Kong for the Hong Kong 7’s rugby tournament which is supposed to be absolutely crazy. You have to go in costume so me and the ladies are going as sexy Singapore cops . Although a seasoned drinker, I am actually nervous as from what I hear its intense and you know I am not known for moderation so say a prayer for me!

Alright then, I hope you are all well. I will leave you with some pictures from the Japan ski trip I never posted about!

Ready to hit the slopes

Apres ski for 3 - me, Phil and my man hand

Apre Apres ski

Harajuku Boy and Girl

Terrible picture but a good story. We had some amazing food in Japan - some of the best but this evening was not one of those times. We went to this tradional restaurant where there is a pot of boiling water built into the middle of your table. You are given strips of fatty meats (shown) to cook in the water along with veggies etc. So we had the dinner along with alot of sake and by the end of the evening I could not see! I was like Phil is it smokey in here?? Can you see ok?? God that Sake is strong!! I get up to go to the bathroom - actually feel my way to the bathroom as I was a blind as Helen Keller. I removed my contacts I was like HUH?? I can see! only to realize that both were covered in a layer of grease from the steaming pot of boiling meat fat! I was so grossed out!!

Love you XOXOX

Monday, February 2, 2009

Day 12

Ahhhh…back to work and it sucks. I wish I was still throwing back sake and slurping up some udon but no here I am. I will provide photos and a recap of the trip once the photos are uploaded but all in all a great time and happy to report no broken bones!

Speaking of stuffing my face with food and booze I would like to share with you the following website which could come in handy on your next holiday and of course when you all finally make the trip to Asia (which I know you are all working on), SelectWisely This is pretty cool if you have any food allergies or dietary restrictions. You present the proper card which is translated into the appropriate language. Pretty cool.

Now if I can only find a card with the following translation…”stop feeding me..I am a fat ass”…that would be great.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Days 3-11 ~ GONE SKIING (Day 2 wrap-up below)

Days 1 & 2 stressed me out so I am taking a vacation…Just kidding. I am heading to Hakuba, Japan for 6 days of skiing and then two days of touring Tokyo. We have Monday and Tuesday off for the New Year so 8 days of vacation and only taking 3 days out of my allocation…oh yeah! I love it when a plan comes together!

“See ya’" when I get back

SASHIMI!!! (only Japanese word I know)

Day 2...

Day 2 was a very exciting day at the Company…major changes underway which I hope are for the good. Once the excitement simmered down it was time for lunch and a quick shopping trip to get the last of the items required for my upcoming trip. On the way back to the office from said shopping trip, I had a very crazy cab driver. I should have been tipped off as I when I got in the car he was doing some serious head banging to very slow, traditional Chinese music. About 2 minutes into the ride he started yelling FUCK, FUCK, FUCK…I braced myself for the head-on collision that was sure to follow such an outburst only to realize we were cruising along no accident in sight. This 3 word mantra continued in 30 second intervals for the remainder of the trip. Once I got used to the “background noise” I was able to focus on the activities happening on the streets. As we drove through the Chinatown section I was admiring how “dressed up” the neighborhood was for the upcoming Chinese New Year celebration, welcoming the year of the Ox. Funny that the year of the Ox mascot dotted throughout the city (think the big inflatable protest rat found outside of some NYC office buildings) bears an uncanny resemblance to Bullwinckle.

Tonight early dinner with friends and early to bed for early flight.

I leave you with this question: Why do people gargle water, mouthwash etc? What purpose does it serve?

Day 1

Day 1 got off to a very bad start… I could not sleep last night and when I did I had a terrible, terrible nightmare, the kind of nightmare that has you waking up and having to repeat…”it was only a dream”, it was only a dream” until you slowly convince yourself. One realization I came to while trying to get some sleep was that I am actually going to be 35 this year as opposed to the 34 I have been telling everyone..seriously there I was actually doing the math in bed 1974…1984…1994…2004…2009.. yep 35! This was a complete shock..god I am old. Perhaps this bought of insomnia and horrible dreams was a result of the anxiety of having to tell you all about the next 100 days…god how must Obama feel. I hope he really knows his age cause that one threw me for a loop.

Ok so after pulling myself out of bed, close to tears, I had to quickly get dressed and hop in a cab to meet potential new boss (PNB) at potential new office (not leaving current job [I hope] but most of you know the deal). I was stuck waiting in the lobby for 15 minutes next to some techy geek playing a very loud and very annoying video game..I was this close to shoving it up his ass! PNB arrived with potential new co-worker (PNCW) and the tour began. Pretty cool space..they have a huge associate lounge with pool table, fooze ball (is that how you spell it) tables, tv’s and FREE BEVERAGES…I could get used to this!!

Coming back to this drab, quiet office I was a bit depressed and spent some time daydreaming of fooze ball tournaments, lunches and tomfoolery with my PNCW’s then was slapped back to reality by a mandatory 4pm meeting…hummm what could this be about??? Me and current co-worker spent the remainder of our lunch time speculating….but back to business and before the 4pm I have some project plans to create, budgets to prepare and a very exciting investigation as to why an expense failed to hit the 2008 budget and is now appearing in 2009…the charge $1,500 – get over it!

4pm meeting…so mad and angry right now but not getting into it – This information is classified and it sucks. I should have pocketed aforementioned $1,500.

Based on the briefing (see how presidential I am) at 4pm I was ready for a drink and thankfully scheduled to attend some leaving drinks for a co-worker who is being relocated to Hong Kong. So I spent the rest of the afternoon pissed off and counting down the minutes until happy hour.

I plan to end day 1 with a swim and some packing…

Until day 2….

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

The First 100 Days....

Wow! I have stated here that I am not really a political person but I was brought very close to tears watching Obama being sworn in as the 44th president of the United States..perhaps it was not the emotion that nearly brought my eyes to overflow but the strain of trying to spot Cyndi in the crowd a la Where’s Waldo.

Seriously, as many people around the world brace for the changes that will occur once he takes office, I can’t help but feel really sorry for the guy, talk about pressure. I just feel that he is doomed to fail his first 100 days “report card” not because he won’t be doing a good job but because so much is resting on his shoulders. In the best of times the first 100 days is hard and as we all know this is far from good times. I could never and would never want to be president…

To prove that I would never make a good president I JenniB, will track for you my first 100 days of Obama’s presidency.. tales of exorbitant wine consumption, vacations, gym classes, pool time to follow. Brace yourself!

And B.O….good luck and God Speed…I am rooting for you!!

Wait!! does the 100 days start from the 20 or the 21??? I will start on the 21st…see already procrastinating.

Jenni “more like G. Bush than you know” B

Oh… open letter to Michelle..I think you need a new that’s a job I could do. CG , resume to follow.

Monday, January 19, 2009

Movie Time with JenniB

Here we go again!

Rating system:
4 wine glasses = a must see, stop reading this blog and head to your local theater or on-demand button!
3 wine glasses = Very good but don’t cancel plans to watch
2 wine glasses = my glass in almost empty
1 wine glass = go to the gym!
0 glasses – it was probably Sci-Fi or animated

Movie: See above
Cast: Anne Hathaway, Deborah Winger and a bunch of other randoms
Venue: Regular theater
My Mood: Burnt by the Sun
Genre: Drama

JenniB’s Rating = 1 Glass of Wine

After reading all the rave reviews of Anne Hathaway’s performance,I had high expectations for this one but was once again let down. This movie was so random. Some of the scene’s, ie rehearsal dinner, wedding reception were just too unnecessarily long. Can anyone explain the Indian wedding theme…trying to figure that one out.

Anne did give a great performance as Kim, the just released from rehab drug addict but the character itself really annoyed me and left me thinking how can someone be so selfish..guess that’s the point. I was so annoyed with the movie that about 10 minutes from the end I turned to my movie companion and said “would she kill herself already” SPOILER ALERT…disappointing…she does not!

I mentioned the random cast of characters and that was the one thing that kept me somewhat interested in the story…it was comical to just watch them in the background…and the fiancé what’s up with him??

Perhaps there is some deep meaning to all of it that I am clearly missing..if so, someone enlighten me!

Ok so there you have it another disappointing night at the movies.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Thursday, January 15, 2009

LOL’s (does not stand for lots of love)

Ok first of all – TGIF!! I love Fridays – don’t you??

So I have to fill you in on a very funny story (at least I think it is) that my friend Helen told me today. Helen is the girl from the westsuits are dangerous post – the one who had my sweaty butt cheek against her face so you know she is quite funny and a very good sport. Helen and I work for the same company, she’s a brit and we arrived here about the same time. Ok enough background info.

It’s lunch time, I have my gym bag on my shoulder ready to head out the door and she sends me a same time message asking me to have lunch with her that she needs a glass of wine. About 2 seconds go by where I actually consider not answering and heading for the gym but I quickly got a hold of myself, dropped the gym bag and said I would meet her in the lobby in 2.

We get to our favorite, boozy lunch (hey its Friday) destination and the following conversation followed:

Helen: Oh god I made an ass out of myself
Me: [laughing] What happened?
Helen: Well, I was on a call with my manager’s manager in the US and about 20 other people in the US and at the end of the call she was like “so Helen this will be the last time we speak before Chinese New Year.”
[apparently the manager’s manager went into the whole background of the Chinese calendar]
[more background – Helen has not exactly embraced Singaporean/Asian culture]

Manager’s Manager: So Helen what is 2009 the year of??
Helen: [sweating] Ummm…Ummm… well…. [she had no idea – she tells me all she could think about was her vacation to Australia]
Manager’s Manager: Helen I think it’s the OX [Helen heard this as fox]
Helen: oh yeah that’s right it’s the year of the Fox…yup…
Some associate in Miami: Umm…Helen its an Ox not a fox.
Call ends
Helen: I wonder if I will get fired for not knowing???

Well let me tell you to hear her tell the story is priceless…could you imagine?? I was dying for the rest of the lunch and still laughing typing this email (maybe I’m drunk). Sad thing, I could totally imagine this happening to me!

Happy weekend!

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

TTT - Two Trivia Tidbits...

1) Did you know that Michigan was the first state to snow plow its roads and the first to initiate the yellow divider line?

2) Did you you that not one Rolls Royce was sold in the United States in December 2008?

Now don't say reading this blog is not educational!

Jenni "in the know" B

Monday, January 12, 2009

Healthy Start...

This is the email that awaits me this morning as I sit down at my desk:

Hi All,

Starting the year on a healthy note...

We are very pleased to deliver to our associates *FrUiTs*! Starting this Wednesday, 14th Jan 11am. Each will receive an apple, orange, pear and plum all nicely packed into a bag for consumption at your own pleasure. This Fruits delivery will continue on a forthnightly basis - 14 Jan, 4 Feb, 18 Feb and ending in 4 Mar.

We hope you will enjoy it! Have a healthy year ahead!

Don't you love the fancy way they wrote fruits?? This fruits delivery???

This email did include photos of various vacuum packed fruits but I could not get them to save for some reason to post here.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Humm..why do I feel Rita was involved?

Rita you were in Vail for New Year's.....


It looks like a certain skier will be making a load of money off of a Vail, Colorado ski resort!
The Smoking Gun is reporting that an unnamed skier was the victim of a freak ski lift accident on New Year's day.
This all went down at Vail's Blue Sky Basin ski slope.
Apparently, the victim, a 48-year old skier, boarded the resort's high-speed chairlift and the chairlift's fold-down seat was somehow not in the lowered position, which caused the man to partially fall through the resulting gap.
Luckily, his right ski got jammed in the chairlift, and that kept him from falling through since his boot never unhooked from its binding!
The photos above were taken by fellow skiers.
We want to know how the poor guy lost his pants!!
The victim was stuck for about 15 minutes before the resort people were able to get him down.
A resort press release did not explain how the mishap occurred, only that "the man was caught on the chair."
What a nightmare!

Saturday, January 3, 2009


Happy New Year! Unlike the past, I think 8 years, of ringing in the new year by dancing to the "greatest song in the world" with the NY/PHILLY crew, I celebrated the arrival of 2009 dancing to Donna Summer's Bad Girls with Mel, Chris, Christopher, Robin, Abby, Christian and Adian..(who knew Robin was such a Donna Summer fan??) sporting 2009 glasses and quite frankly it was one of the best. Yes, there were no "let's take off our pants" moments but this was one of the best for a very different reason. It was wonderful to be with my family.

The end of 2008 turned out to be not what I expected but out of this came the realization that no matter how bad things may seem, my parents, sister(s), brothers, friends - new and old - are there and that makes me the luckest person ever! That being said - thank you!

Even though I was very successful with last year's resolution - climbing a mountain -I have decided to forget a list of resolutions (drink less, exercise more blah, blah) and focus on putting things into perspective and keeping sight of what really matters and friends. It is very easy to lose sight as we worry about relationships, job security, and the overall dire state of the economy but when those things do fail...what are we left with?? Family and friends!!! Oh god how easy is it to take these two for granted, especially when you are as self involved as I am (check on the self realization huh?).

I truly hope that 2009 brings to you all that you wish for but when it does not...I am here for you!

Love you all!