It freaks me out. Adam, Kelly & Rita, you will be able to see for yourself. They are all over the hawker centers.
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Chinese Double (Part 2)
Is is uncanny how similar very old chinese men look like the following:
It freaks me out. Adam, Kelly & Rita, you will be able to see for yourself. They are all over the hawker centers.
It freaks me out. Adam, Kelly & Rita, you will be able to see for yourself. They are all over the hawker centers.
Monday, January 28, 2008
BALLS
It's official, Australians know how to party a lot better than the Scotts. The 2008 Australian Ball was a mess. Seriously it was like the prom. I think having a better time had a lot to do with the fact that I was actually with my friends and knew a lot more people. We had 4 tables all together and Rachel, Katherine and I were clearly at the singles table…along with Hottie McHottie (reference to pictures from the rave). I was very surprised, HMH actually looks better casually dressed and his shoes were awful. They were super pointy and seriously, I think they were made of some sort of animal skin a la Crocodile Dundee (how appropriate) but he is really nice and loves to dance so fun was had by all.
So as the night progressed, I realized that I had lost the key to my apartment. I honestly have no idea how this could have happened since everything else was in my bag... This was not another Police Athletic League moment where the keys were actually in my bag the whole time!! Seriously it is a huge mystery! Luckily my discovery happened at the very end of the night as this totally put me over the edge. It would be ok if the key was an actual key, however it is an access card that I have to order from Tokyo and it is just one big mess. Rachel, calmed me down and poured us both into a cab to head back to our complex where she managed to convince me to stay over.
I woke up the next morning, ½ naked with no idea where I was or how I got there. Once I got myself together, I decided that the best thing to do would be to get my gown back on, go to security and ask them to let me in my apartment (they have to have a master key right??). So there I was, 10:00am on a Sunday, full formal wear (jewelry and all) and dragged myself to security to explain the situation. They seemed to understand and we started walking to my apt. I should have been tipped off that things were not going to be easy by the following convo:
Security: Someone waiting for you upstairs?
Me: no
Security: Your husband upstairs
Me: No, no husband and I live on the ground floor
Security: Smile (which means I don’t understand)
We get to my apartment
Security: Oh no miss, I thought you wanted to go up in the elevator. I don’t have a key for your apartment.
Me: UGGGGGG. Well what am I supposed to do?? Do you have a locksmith’s number?
Security: Yeah but will be very expensive for a Sunday.
Inside my Head: I DON”t CARE I AM IN A GOWN IT IS F’ING 100 DEGREES OUT AND I AM BASICALLY A RAISIN I AM SO DEHYDRATED
I managed to get the number, called and was assured that he would be to me in 30 minutes. Ok that was not too bad so I sat on my doorstep and began the long, hot, wait for help. I decided to pass the time by looking at the pictures from the previous night…here is where the title of this post takes on a whole new meaning.. so I turned on the camera expecting a smiling JenniB to look my way when I come across something that I couldn’t quite figure out what it was. Honestly I thought it was a mushroom until two minutes later I realize some loser took my camera while it was unattended and took a picture of his BALLS! I was totally disgusted but managed to laugh that I actually thought it was a mushroom (it was the angle).
So the story ends like this, after 30 minutes of waiting for the locksmith, he arrived with a security guard followed by the gas man who was coming to deliver gas for my stove. So picture it, me (remember full formal wear) with 3 Singaporean men (who all barley spoke English) outside my door as all the families and respectable people were headed to the pool for their day of fun.
I have lost my dignity once again.
So as the night progressed, I realized that I had lost the key to my apartment. I honestly have no idea how this could have happened since everything else was in my bag... This was not another Police Athletic League moment where the keys were actually in my bag the whole time!! Seriously it is a huge mystery! Luckily my discovery happened at the very end of the night as this totally put me over the edge. It would be ok if the key was an actual key, however it is an access card that I have to order from Tokyo and it is just one big mess. Rachel, calmed me down and poured us both into a cab to head back to our complex where she managed to convince me to stay over.
I woke up the next morning, ½ naked with no idea where I was or how I got there. Once I got myself together, I decided that the best thing to do would be to get my gown back on, go to security and ask them to let me in my apartment (they have to have a master key right??). So there I was, 10:00am on a Sunday, full formal wear (jewelry and all) and dragged myself to security to explain the situation. They seemed to understand and we started walking to my apt. I should have been tipped off that things were not going to be easy by the following convo:
Security: Someone waiting for you upstairs?
Me: no
Security: Your husband upstairs
Me: No, no husband and I live on the ground floor
Security: Smile (which means I don’t understand)
We get to my apartment
Security: Oh no miss, I thought you wanted to go up in the elevator. I don’t have a key for your apartment.
Me: UGGGGGG. Well what am I supposed to do?? Do you have a locksmith’s number?
Security: Yeah but will be very expensive for a Sunday.
Inside my Head: I DON”t CARE I AM IN A GOWN IT IS F’ING 100 DEGREES OUT AND I AM BASICALLY A RAISIN I AM SO DEHYDRATED
I managed to get the number, called and was assured that he would be to me in 30 minutes. Ok that was not too bad so I sat on my doorstep and began the long, hot, wait for help. I decided to pass the time by looking at the pictures from the previous night…here is where the title of this post takes on a whole new meaning.. so I turned on the camera expecting a smiling JenniB to look my way when I come across something that I couldn’t quite figure out what it was. Honestly I thought it was a mushroom until two minutes later I realize some loser took my camera while it was unattended and took a picture of his BALLS! I was totally disgusted but managed to laugh that I actually thought it was a mushroom (it was the angle).
So the story ends like this, after 30 minutes of waiting for the locksmith, he arrived with a security guard followed by the gas man who was coming to deliver gas for my stove. So picture it, me (remember full formal wear) with 3 Singaporean men (who all barley spoke English) outside my door as all the families and respectable people were headed to the pool for their day of fun.
I have lost my dignity once again.
Friday, January 25, 2008
Speechless
I am without speech. For once I really don't have anything to say...I always have something to say! I am just a bit drained from the week and ready to get the weekend started. Isn't Friday the best day ever??
This weekend will prove to be a good one. I am going to the Australian Ball tomorrow night. Yup, much like the Scottish ball it is supposed to be a proper, posh event where I managed to drink my weight in champagne. Should be a good one...lets just hope I don't get loaded and find myself amusing by constantly saying "Put another Shrimp on the barbie! I think I am out of that phase since Woz left our life but you know me...immaure and love to beat a "joke" into the ground.
I hope you all have a great weekend!
Love JB
This weekend will prove to be a good one. I am going to the Australian Ball tomorrow night. Yup, much like the Scottish ball it is supposed to be a proper, posh event where I managed to drink my weight in champagne. Should be a good one...lets just hope I don't get loaded and find myself amusing by constantly saying "Put another Shrimp on the barbie! I think I am out of that phase since Woz left our life but you know me...immaure and love to beat a "joke" into the ground.
I hope you all have a great weekend!
Love JB
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Durable Pants
Those two words may mean nothing to you and really on their own nothing to me but put them together and they remind me of a very special person in my life…..Michelle F (well now R)! Yes it was the one and only Michelle that phoned me one day circa 1996 to tell me she had just purchased a pair of durable pants for her waitressing job at some TGIF-like restaurant at the mall. Durable pants?? Who really says that?? I had to admire her turning a blind eye to fashion and opting for practicality (yes, we really are best friends!). Worst of all they turned out to be not as durable as she thought since I am pretty sure they split during one of her shifts.
Chances are Michelle does not even remember this story as she has the WORST memory ever! I envision us sitting on a bench somewhere well into our 80’s, me reminiscing about all our good times and travel adventures only for her to turn to me, stare blankly and ask…who are you?? Why are you talking to me??
Ok I know you are wondering why I am thinking about this silly story and why I chose to share with you now?? Well, today (Jan 23 since not sure when you will read) is my very best friend’s birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MISH! She is one of few people I know that can make you laugh without even really doing anything (this is almost always unintentional). I wish I was there to celebrate with you in SD! I love you dearly and hope you have an awesome day!
So please join me in wishing Michelle a very special day filled wine, laughter, friends and perhaps some durables!
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO (a thousand times)
Chances are Michelle does not even remember this story as she has the WORST memory ever! I envision us sitting on a bench somewhere well into our 80’s, me reminiscing about all our good times and travel adventures only for her to turn to me, stare blankly and ask…who are you?? Why are you talking to me??
Ok I know you are wondering why I am thinking about this silly story and why I chose to share with you now?? Well, today (Jan 23 since not sure when you will read) is my very best friend’s birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MISH! She is one of few people I know that can make you laugh without even really doing anything (this is almost always unintentional). I wish I was there to celebrate with you in SD! I love you dearly and hope you have an awesome day!
So please join me in wishing Michelle a very special day filled wine, laughter, friends and perhaps some durables!
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO (a thousand times)
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
BOSS??
Here's something annoying….my boss calls his boss “Boss” …don’t you think that it weird?? I mean he calls him boss (not in the hip street way) all the time!! He is actually in his office right now talking to someone and this sentence just came out of his mouth… “I will check with boss on that!” “Not sure if boss will go with that approach” and earlier in the day I was in his office and he called “bosses” office and asked his assistant “is boss in” I mean c’mon a grown man calling the President of the region boss???
Of course since I am distracted by my own thoughts very easily, every time I hear him say boss the image of Boss Hogg from Dukes of Hazard pops into my mind which then makes me laugh when thoughts drift to Turkey's brother in-law at her wedding….oh the vicious circle!
Later Boss! (said in the hip street way….did I really just type that…TWICE???)
Of course since I am distracted by my own thoughts very easily, every time I hear him say boss the image of Boss Hogg from Dukes of Hazard pops into my mind which then makes me laugh when thoughts drift to Turkey's brother in-law at her wedding….oh the vicious circle!
Later Boss! (said in the hip street way….did I really just type that…TWICE???)
Monday, January 14, 2008
I'm Going to Hell!
What is wrong with me that the following, posted on PerezHilton.com, literally made me laugh out loud:
Danielynn's Medical Condition
Yup, she's cross-eyed!
And Larry is torn up about how to treat Dannielyn's condition.
To have surgery or not to have surgery?
At least I know, most of you will be in Hell with me.
Danielynn's Medical Condition
Yup, she's cross-eyed!
And Larry is torn up about how to treat Dannielyn's condition.
To have surgery or not to have surgery?
At least I know, most of you will be in Hell with me.
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Hell Yeah I'm Single!
So Chinese New Year is right around the corner (first week in February) and I have been excited to celebrate for quite sometime. Why you ask??? Well, the implementation of my new year resolutions have been postponed over a month (for those curious it is to party less and to perfect my swimming skills), I get a 4 day weekend (in Australia) and who would not be excited about the year of the rat….but my excitement has reached a whole new level after learning what I did yesterday!
I returned to my desk after lunch to find 6 packs of little red envelopes on my
desk. I knew these were part of a Chinese New Year tradition where you put money in the envelopes and distribute to friends and family to wish them a happy and prosperous new year, at least I thought that was the whole story but I was a bit off. Turns out that I, JenniB, do not have to fill these envelopes with my hard earned cash…why???…BECAUSE I AM SINGLE!! That’s right, finally I the singleton have the last laugh to all those manicurists and yoga sales people who look at me with such pity. You see, the rule is married people have to give money to the single people!!!! OH YEAH! Ok maybe this is just another form of pity but who cares…this is the kind of pity I can handle. I would like to think that it is because we, the singles, have to spend the money to dress-up, drag ourselves out night after night and drink ourselves silly all in the hopes of getting some action! Seeing that this is an age old tradition I am most likely way off but whatever! Bring on the dough!
Another interesting fact I learned, is that you never put $4 or any amount containing the number 4 in the packet as this is BAD LUCK. The word for the number 4 in Cantonese sounds very much like the word for death so you never make this mistake. Oh dear watch someone give me $4 thinking I don’t know what that means, could you imagine??
Jenni “proud to be single” B
I returned to my desk after lunch to find 6 packs of little red envelopes on my
desk. I knew these were part of a Chinese New Year tradition where you put money in the envelopes and distribute to friends and family to wish them a happy and prosperous new year, at least I thought that was the whole story but I was a bit off. Turns out that I, JenniB, do not have to fill these envelopes with my hard earned cash…why???…BECAUSE I AM SINGLE!! That’s right, finally I the singleton have the last laugh to all those manicurists and yoga sales people who look at me with such pity. You see, the rule is married people have to give money to the single people!!!! OH YEAH! Ok maybe this is just another form of pity but who cares…this is the kind of pity I can handle. I would like to think that it is because we, the singles, have to spend the money to dress-up, drag ourselves out night after night and drink ourselves silly all in the hopes of getting some action! Seeing that this is an age old tradition I am most likely way off but whatever! Bring on the dough!
Another interesting fact I learned, is that you never put $4 or any amount containing the number 4 in the packet as this is BAD LUCK. The word for the number 4 in Cantonese sounds very much like the word for death so you never make this mistake. Oh dear watch someone give me $4 thinking I don’t know what that means, could you imagine??
Jenni “proud to be single” B
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Mark Your Calendars
Hey there. Things have been crazy hence the no blogging but I just had to post about this….Mark Your Calendars! Hold The Date!…oh wait you don’t live here…well mark your calendars that on January 16 as you are making your way to work (8:00am NY time) you can be sure that I will be parked in front of my TV, fists clenched and in the fighters stance for the premier of THE CONTENDER ASIA. OH YEAH! Most of you know how much I love that show. The Asia version is a little different as its Muay Thai boxing instead of “normal” boxing. Not sure how this style works but the boxers are barefoot and there is kicking involved. Shirtless, sweaty men…not a bad way to spend a Wednesday night!
Lets get ready to rumble!
Side note: I ripped by dress at work today and had to wear a towel around my shoulders until I could go home and change at lunch….I’m still a total loser!
Lets get ready to rumble!
Side note: I ripped by dress at work today and had to wear a towel around my shoulders until I could go home and change at lunch….I’m still a total loser!
Thursday, January 3, 2008
Under Pressure....
I have literally logged-in and out numerous times trying to put together the perfect post-holiday entry, ya know..the perfect balance of fun, sentiment and stupidity but I just can’t do it. All these days not blogging has taken a toll on my creative juices! So I have included a brief holiday photo montage for your enjoyment [cue appropriate montage music here].
CD's Party...the Bank would be proud
Can't forget the male celebrity guests (and Jackie)
Pre-Christmas Football...
Christmas Eve
Dinner with Cali Crew...
New Years Eve
Sorry Turkey...couldn't resist you in your cut throat Pollyanna shirt
The Farewell/Thanksgiving in January Dinner
Ode to Aunt Jenn kid's table where they ate "Asian style". Chris did join the adults!
In closing... I would like to wish all of you a WONDERFUL New Year! Never met a group of people that deserve it more.
Oh and one more tidbit to live by in the new year….
ESP………………E= Energy/S=Smile/P= Personality....you can learn a lot by watching the Golden Girls (that was for you Mel!)
CD's Party...the Bank would be proud
Can't forget the male celebrity guests (and Jackie)
Pre-Christmas Football...
Christmas Eve
Dinner with Cali Crew...
New Years Eve
Sorry Turkey...couldn't resist you in your cut throat Pollyanna shirt
The Farewell/Thanksgiving in January Dinner
Ode to Aunt Jenn kid's table where they ate "Asian style". Chris did join the adults!
In closing... I would like to wish all of you a WONDERFUL New Year! Never met a group of people that deserve it more.
Oh and one more tidbit to live by in the new year….
ESP………………E= Energy/S=Smile/P= Personality....you can learn a lot by watching the Golden Girls (that was for you Mel!)
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