Friend Dating

I mentioned friend dating in one of my previous posts so I thought now would be a good time to elaborate.

Having lived in the either NY or NJ my whole life, there has never been a time where I didn’t have a solid circle of friends or family to hang with. There are some people that have been my friends for a very long time and then some new friends who just effortlessly slipped into my exhisting circle. Regardless, I was lucky enough to have that aspect of my life not be a problem or stressful. Until now…..I stepped off the plane ALONE!! No Jeff, Seth, Mel, Jackie, Kelly….. to call for a glass or wine or plate of cheese..just me. This was empowering and f’ing scary at the same time.

Little did I know I was about to enter the world of friend dating…..

Friend dating is very similar to blind dating but the chance of getting lucky at the end of the night are even less. In most friend dating cases you hear from a friend who has a friend; who has a cousin; who’s brother’s college roommate is now living in Singapore…what a coincidence! you guys should meet up (would that really happen in NYC)!!!! When you are dealing with nothing…this sounds like a great option so the emails begin and the “date” (applies to guys and girls) is set and the date planning begins:

Outfit: Can’t be too dressy or too casual…always appear more put together yet more relaxed then your potential “friend”
Venue: If meeting a guy…let him choose since that is what you do when you date right??? Meeting girl: let her choose because chances are she has been here longer and knows more places.
Actual Date: Butterflies in stomach as get to venue. Why I ask myself??? You sit, you drink, compare stories all the while thinking in the back of your mind “Could I really see myself having fun with this person” Could I get drunk, put on a schoolgirl outfit, a wig and buy beer at the corner store…oh I miss Brooklyn!
Post Date: You sit and wait for contact or you sit and think when should I make contact (this is actually a non issue if you did not feel a connection....sound familiar….umm hello.…DATING!) because of course you don’t want to seem too anxious.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME???? FRIENDS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE THE EASY PART OF MY LIFE!!!

Actually this scenario (roommate of someone you really don’t even know) is really not the stressful one. The stressful one is the “meeting of friends of someone you already know and like but you can’t only have them as a friend meeting” This one is stressful! If they don’t like you they can talk smack to someone you already like OR you are stuck depending on just one person…DRAMA. Much of the date plays out the same until the end…if business cards are exchanged the date was successful and chances are it’s the start of some boozie suzie nights!!!

Luckily my friend dating has proved a lot more successful than real dating! I have yet to have someone order lobster and make me pay, take “it” out on my doorstep, or wear a full flowy linen suit with mandels (most of you get these references). Hey at least I am good at one of them.

So there you have it, friend dating and a little honest glimpse into my life…insecurities and all.

Tune in tomorrow for the answer to Coffee Quiz!